Chapter 17
Alexander
If I was frustrated before kissing Sarah, it cannot compare to the feeling I’ve been dwelling on the whole week.
Now that I’ve had a small taste of her, I’m fucking desperate for more, but she ran out on me, on us.
Ultimately, I decided to give her space. That lasted through the weekend and Monday.
On Tuesday, I went looking for her, but whenever I arrived at the PR department, she would be “out.”
Part of me thinks the others were covering for her, but then again, she would have had to tell them about us, which I highly doubt she’s done, except for Samantha.
She’s been looking extra smug this week, probably watching us like her own little reality show.
On Wednesday, she was out of the office and did not check in.
I even double-checked with Clarissa at the front desk.
Stalker much?
Yes, but I’m feeling desperate.
Just as I get back to my apartment, my brother calls me.
I’m tempted to let it go to voicemail, but I decide against it. What if it is something important.
“Hey, Lil bro,” I greet him.
“Hey, how is everything in Chicago?” Braden asks me.
He’s the closest to me, two years younger than me, and 2 years older than our baby-brother Cameron.
“All good, would be nice if my brothers came to visit me sometimes though,” I tell him, a teasing tone in my voice.
Braden lives in New York, and Cameron is in Florida.
Our parents hate that we live so far apart, but then they have all the more reason to travel to visit their dear children.
Whenever I play a game in one of their cities, I make sure to see them, and they try to make a trip to Chicago when they can, but life can be hectic.
“Same goes for you, big bro,”
Braden tells me he’s planning to visit in a few weeks and asks if the apartment is all ready, which thankfully it is.
My family usually stays at my place because I have enough bedrooms available.
We discuss our team’s progress and whether we will be moving into the play-offs. The big looming question we’re all thinking about.
If we don’t manage to turn this around, we might lose our shot at the playoffs this year.
“Everything going good, Alexander? You sound a little tense,” I hesitate.
Christ.
First, my coach; now my brother can hear my frustration over a freaking phone call.
I really need to hunt down Sarah, like yesterday.
My head is a mess.
She may be scared and running from this, but I’m sure as hell am not.
“You have no idea, Braden. I’m dealing with women trouble,” I say, blowing out a breath, and he chuckles on the other end.
“Women? Like plural?”
“Christ, no. Only one, she’s more than enough,” I tell him.
He asks me how we met, which brings a smile to my face.
“You know what, Braden, I’ll hold on to that story for when you get here. I really want to see your reaction,” I tell him, and my dear brother struggles with his curiosity.
Neither of the McGregor brothers has settled down yet, brought home a woman to the family, and all that.
Doesn’t mean we don’t have our fair share of women’s trouble.
“I’m dying over here, big bro. I might have to book a flight earlier.”
～
On Thursday, I’m hauled into meetings all day, with no time to stop by the PR department.
I decide I’ll go to her apartment, hoping to find her there before we leave for our away game tomorrow.
When the day finally winds down, and I can head to her apartment, I decide to bring some food for us.
Hopefully, she’ll be home so we can talk about this, preferably over a nice dinner after a long day.
I knock on her door, and when she swings it open, I take a deep breath of relief. Seeing her relaxes the tension in my neck and shoulders, making me feel more comfortable in her presence.
“Captain, didn’t expect to see you here,” she says with a glimmer in her eyes, which makes me feel even better.
She’s not cold or closed off.
I was somewhat sceptical about coming here, unsure of what I’d find.
Would she still regret our kiss?
Kick me to the curb before we can talk?
I’m grateful that the Sarah standing in front of me is the same confident, sexy woman I admire.
“Would think we were on a first-name basis now that I’ve had my tongue inside your mouth, but guess not. Can I come in?” My comment makes her blush, but she gestures for me to come inside.
I set down our food on her small table and make a note that when this thing between us starts for real, we will spend a lot of time at my place.
I feel like a giant in this space, but it’s glimpses of Sarah everywhere that make me smile.
Her heels are lined up on her dresser. Her smutty books are stacked on a small shelf beside her bed, and I make a mental note to check those out sometime when she’s not looking.
For research purposes.
She brings out plates and cutlery while I start loading the food onto our plates. It feels like the most natural thing in the world—having a meal together after a long day.
“How has your day been?” I ask her as we sit down, and she hands me a glass of water.
“It’s been good, busy, but good. I’ve been trying to get as much work done as possible before you guys leave this weekend,” she tells me, making me pause in my movements.
“You’re not coming along this weekend?” I ask her, not bothering to hide my disappointment.
I was hoping we’d have some more time together after nearly a week apart.
“Nope, I have some family obligations this weekend, but I’ll catch your game on the TV, don’t you worry,” she winks at me, and as realization dawns, I’m torn between bringing up her mom or not.
The mood is so light that I decide against it.
I know the anniversary is coming up this weekend.
Sarah hasn’t told me the specific date herself, but after she told me about her mom, I decided I wanted to do something for her.
I can’t imagine the pain of losing a parent at such a young age, and even though she has her dad, I know she misses her mom every day.
I look around her room again, spotting a beautiful painting of pink lilies.
“Did you paint that?” I gesture to the canvas hanging on her wall.
“Oh, yeah, I did. It’s years ago, though,” she says as she looks at the picture with both sorrow and strength in her eyes.
I bring her hand up to my lips and give it a small kiss.
“It’s beautiful, Sarah,” I tell her, letting her know I’m here with a slight squeeze to her hand.
She offers me a reassuring smile before asking about my day.
I groan, causing her to laugh, and I share about the worst day ever.
On days like these, I feel restless.
I usually get in two workouts a day, but today I only managed one, and sitting through boring meetings all day—when all I really wanted was to find Sarah—left me even more antsy than usual.
“I went to see you several times this week. Have you been hiding from me, angel?” I ask her, and she starts gathering our plates and cleaning up.
I follow her and bring the rest as I lean against the counter. She gives me a sly smile before shrugging her shoulders.
“Maybe,” she says as she starts rinsing the plates.
I stand behind her, circling my hands around her waist in the guise of helping with the dishes.
All the more reason to get close and personal in this small space.
It’s not like there is room for both of us behind that counter.
“And now? Are you planning to run away again if I kiss you?” I bring my lips to her ear, nibbling on her earlobe as she pushes some of her weight against me.
It feels amazing having her in my arms, but I’m also confused because the last time I saw her, she ran out as if her life depended on it.
She turns around in my arms and brings her arms around my neck.
“We need to talk. And I need to apologize for running off. You scared the hell out of me with that kiss,” she tells me with vulnerability in her eyes.
She takes my hand and leads me to her bed.
“I’m sorry I ran off like that; as I said, I got scared because everything with you feels overwhelming, in a good way,” she bites her lip as she looks up at me through her lashes.
I wait for her to continue.
“I’ve been thinking about us, and I have a proposition for you,” I narrow my eyes at her, but she gives me a stern look, telling me that I need to listen to her before jumping to any conclusions.
“There is no point in fighting our connection, and I think we both could benefit from some really hot sex, you know, until we burn out the chemistry between us.”
Fuck no.
I stand up so abruptly that Sarah jumps back onto her bed.
“Let me just get this straight, you just want us to fuck?” I ask her, and her eyes widen at my tone, and probably the anger radiating from me.
I can’t believe her.
We have so much more than just sex.
For Christ’s sake, the only thing we’ve even done is kiss, and now she’s telling me all we have is sexual chemistry?
I mean, sure, we do have plenty of that, but there’s so much more to us than that.
“Well, yeah. I thought you would be happy. Isn’t that basically what every guy wants?”
I drag my hand through my hair, not quite believing her words.
Usually, I would be all over a deal like this.
With Sarah, I’m seething because she’s reducing us to just fuck buddies.
“I thought you would have figured out by now that I’m not like every other guy, Sarah. And I definitely don’t appreciate you turning our connection into just sex.”
She stands up as well, her irritation growing.
“Seriously, what do you want then?” she asks, and I corner her against the wall, making sure she’ll hear every word.
“I want it all, Sarah. Waking up with you in my arms, serving you breakfast in bed, exploring the city with you, and having dinner together. Then, we’ll get to the fucking part, and believe me, we’ll spend plenty of time doing that too. But I want more,” I say, my tone firm as I look at her.
She gulps at my words and the closeness as I press into her.
The tension is thick, our emotions running high.
She presses against my chest, and I immediately step back.
“I can’t give you that,” she tells me as she puts more distance between us.
“Why not?” I insist.
“Because you have the power to ruin me. So, you’ll either have to accept what I can give you, or not have me at all,” she whispers, and I feel a hollow sensation in my chest at her words.
Before I have the chance to answer, she beats me to it.
“Just think about it, okay? You don’t have to decide right now. I’ve been thinking about this the whole week, and I really do believe this will be good.”
I want to tell her that I don’t have to think a second about this; the answer is no.
I want more from her.
But then, there is the small voice of hers, saying if I want her at all, this is my only chance.
Can I really let that go?
Even though every fibre of my body is telling me to kiss her, I hold back, determined to make her see that we’re so much more than just a physical connection.
“I’ll see you on Monday,” I tell her before I leave her apartment, with a cluster of thoughts swirling in my head.