Chapter 34
THIRTY-FOUR
Only seconds had passed when I heard Jade’s footsteps rushing along the hallway.
The door handle rattled as she tried it, and then a cacophony of bangs sounded against the thick wood.
I held my knees tightly beneath my chin, rocking on the carpet, the muscles in my face twitching involuntarily.
I could feel my top lip curving up, the nerve pulsing against my will, and was suddenly reminded of all the tics I’d had when I first arrived here.
Every sound would force me into a physical reaction, blinking too much, trembling from head to toe.
The way my thumbnail would flick frantically against the inside of my index finger until it wore through the skin.
It had been so long that I’d forgotten how his very presence reduced me to this pitiful creature, but now it was like slipping back into an old, worn-in pair of shoes, as if they’d been waiting for me all this time.
The Pavlovian response of knowing I was a victim, in danger, was built into my very being.
Jade slammed her fist into the wood again, bashing so hard I jumped. ‘Annie, open the door! I know you’re in there!’
‘No!’ I shouted, my voice weak, croaky .
‘Annie, you have to! He’s coming! Oh my God, he’s coming now!’
The edges of my vision went dark, and I fought with myself to stay present. The window caught my eye, and I thought desperately that I might climb out of it, escape somehow. Could I slide down the drainpipe? Could I get to Aaron’s house? He would help me. Protect me.
I saw my reflection in the mirror above the dresser and shook my head in disgust. Protect me? Why should he have to? Had I learned nothing in the past three years? Had I grown at all? I would not be reduced to this shell of a human being. I was worth more than this!
I took a deep breath, then stood up on shaky legs as Amala gave a high-pitched cry.
I had to help them. I would not be that coward, would not leave Jade and her baby to face whatever vindictive intentions he had in store for them.
Squaring my shoulders, I strode over to the door, unlocking it to find Jade gripping Amala, her eyes wide and filled with fear.
‘The bells!’ she gasped. ‘I was on the phone, and he heard them… he heard the bells! He stopped talking – it was as if he recognised them, and then he hung up on me.’ She gripped my hand. ‘He knows I’m here! He’s coming, Annie!’
I nodded calmly, though inside I was screaming. ‘Then we have to leave. We’ll go next door,’ I said, ignoring the way my entire body stiffened at the idea of stepping through the gate. I had no choice. ‘Aaron will help us. He’ll keep us safe.’
She shook her head, panic lacing her words. ‘He won’t! We can’t trust him, Annie. Why the hell do you think he would protect you? You know that your name is still plastered over the internet? The ads and Facebook page are still running. Why do you think that is, huh?’
I stared at her, stunned. Aaron wouldn’t lie to me. He wanted me to be safe, didn’t he? He wouldn’t lead Ryan here.
I swallowed, unsure how to absorb her words, the shock paralysing. I didn’t believe it was possible, but there was no time to argue the odds now.
‘Right,’ I said softly, the only choice available to me becoming glaringly obvious. ‘Right.’
I walked past her, and she followed. ‘What are you doing?’
I didn’t answer, but I felt her behind me as I walked as calmly as I could manage downstairs, heading to the back door.
‘Annie,’ Jade pushed. ‘We need to stay inside. Barricade ourselves in and stay quiet! We don’t have time for whatever it is you’re doing!’
Ignoring her, I headed purposefully down the path to the workshop, unlatching the door.
The axe lay on the far side of the bench, and I strode towards it, clasping it in my hands.
An odd sensation of certainty settled over me.
Ryan was coming. Now. And whatever happened today, I wouldn’t let him take me back without a fight.
I was willing to do anything to keep my freedom.
I looked at the deadly blade, touching my fingertip to the edge, feeling the sting as the metal pierced through my skin as easily as cutting through butter.
I gave it a testing swing, glad that I’d spent the past three winters chopping logs for the open fire in the kitchen. I could do this… I would do this.
I closed my eyes, my mind racing. I would have to wait till dark to get rid of the body.
The pit for the pond was already deeper than I was tall.
I’d need Jade to help me move him, but together we could do it.
And she would help. She’d understand there was no choice.
He’d forced us into a corner, and now we had no other option.
She wouldn’t have to bloody her hands. She just needed to stay back, keep Amala safe. I would deal with the rest. I had to.
I sucked a deep breath into my lungs, the fresh sawdust smell bringing me a sense of solidity, reminding me of everything I was set to lose if I didn’t summon my courage.
I opened my eyes, half surprised to find Jade staring back at me from just inside the doorway.
Her face was set, and I frowned at the sight of something glinting in her hand.
Looking behind her, I saw the door closed, a padlock looped through the thick metal latch. She held the key up. ‘We have to stay in here. Hide until he leaves,’ she said quietly. ‘He’ll go if he can’t find us.’
I shook my head. ‘No, Jade. He’ll just come back.
Again and again until he wins. Don’t you get it?
This is his favourite game – cat-and-mouse, hide-and-seek.
He expects us to cower away and hope he’ll give up, but he won’t.
Not ever. I have to put a stop to this – for good.
I can’t live with the threat of him looming over my life any more, knowing he’s out there biding his time.
We go out there ready and face him head-on.
We will not be his victims. Never again. ’
She stared silently at me, and I watched her jaw flex, a stubborn, decisive expression I hadn’t seen from her before settling on her delicate features.
She met my gaze, and then, as I stared back, wondering what she was thinking, she turned to the high rectangular window I’d left open to clear the dust and, to my shock, tossed the key out of it.
‘What the hell did you do that for!’ I cried, shocked.
‘You aren’t thinking straight, Annie. What, you’re going to kill him? Really?’ She raised an eyebrow, as if the idea I’d been playing with in my mind for days now was simply ludicrous. ‘We stay in here and we keep quiet.’
‘No.’ I shook my head. ‘Absolutely not. I won’t do that! Not again.’
The many times I’d hidden from Ryan, huddling in the wardrobe, the coat closet, beneath the bed, flashed through my mind.
He had always found me. Had enjoyed the chase, the search, his unhurried footsteps drawing ever closer, as if he were stretching out the inevitable for his own sick amusement.
He’d love nothing more than arriving to realise we had set up his favourite game .
‘I won’t hide in my own fucking garden! Not here. This is my space. Mine ! He’ll be sorely disappointed if he thinks he’s going to come here and find the woman who walked out on him. He’s in for one hell of a shock!’
‘Oh, shut up! Just shut up!’ she screamed.
She walked past the workbench to the far end of the workshop, Amala in her arms as she lowered herself onto an upturned bucket.
‘This isn’t about you playing the hero, Annie.
It’s not a redemption story. This is my life .
Mine and hers,’ she said, looking down at her daughter.
‘And I’m not going to let you ruin it, risk her future by doing something stupid.
Get over here and shut your fucking mouth before you let the whole world know exactly how to find us! I mean it!’
I stood frozen, looking back and forth between her and the padlocked door.
A motorbike engine roared in the lane nearby, and Amala let out a startled cry.
I met Jade’s eyes and saw pure desperation written on her face.
I could break through the door with the axe.
Go across the path and be at Aaron’s house in a matter of seconds, though Jade’s accusation that he’d failed to protect my privacy made me wonder how much trust I could really place in him.
I could break out of here. But I couldn’t leave her…
couldn’t walk away from the baby and risk her coming to harm.
I wouldn’t have another infant’s blood on my hands.
If Jade wouldn’t leave, wouldn’t make a run for help with me, I couldn’t go either.
The realisation made nausea swell in my belly, my palms turning slick.
I gripped the axe, breathing hard as I weighed my options, taking a final desperate look towards the locked door. Then, swallowing my self-disgust, I did the one thing I’d sworn to myself I would never do again. I cowered in the dark and waited for him to find me.