Chapter 12 Thayla #2
“It means that man was rejecting you because you were pumped full of disgusting Seduction and he wouldn’t take advantage of you like that. In no way, shape, or form would he reject you if you did the same exact thing in the comfort of your home.”
Her mouth opens and closes repeatedly as indecision wars through her features. Her own rejections surface, and her brow creases in fierce doubt.
“I don’t know. He hasn’t even kissed me since the carriage. Well, and you know, when I attacked him.”
“We’ve had a lot going on. He hasn’t had much of a breather since we broke him out of Hellveilious. Just because he hasn’t kissed you again doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to. The guys haven’t kissed me since the night we returned, but I still know how they feel about me.”
I clear my throat to unclog the sudden lump that formed. Again, I was trying to say something that relates to what she has going on so she knows she isn’t alone.
I didn’t mean to make my own emotions surface like a raging storm.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. I don’t want to make this about me or talk about what we’ve got going on in there.”
She gives me a sad smile that I sneer at. She drops the look quickly.
“Sevryn’s been on edge. Every noise makes him jump and he’s constantly looking out the windows. He answered the door for Havar earlier with a sword in his hand.”
My lungs empty.
“The guys have been the same.”
“Are they not talking about it either? I tried to broach the subject once with him when he had a kind of scary moment, but he shut me down. Told me until I talked about what happened, he wasn’t talking either.”
“No, they aren’t talking about it at all. I’m positive if I weren’t here, they’d act like it never happened. I think I’ve pushed them too much. They hide from me in their rooms. I don’t know what to do, Yemi. I don’t know how to help anyone with their own trauma when…”
“When you don’t even process your own.”
“Oh-fucking-kay, Amick junior.”
Her chuckle swiftly turns into a shriek and my heart jumps into my throat.
“What the hell are you two doing?”
Sevryn has Yemi pulled up to her feet in less than a second. Before I can even get my legs uncrossed or fight off the surprised fear pulsing through me, he’s snatching me up as well.
“What the fuck are you two thinking sitting out here by yourselves in the middle of the night? You didn’t even tell me you were leaving the house. Do you both know how stupid and dangerous this is?”
“Sevryn,” Yemi growls in warning, but I place my hand on her arm.
The dazed, haunted glare in his eyes slices me across my chest.
That was the same look Kyzen had when Gladian was at our door.
Gods. They’re all petrified, sitting around waiting for their fathers to react.
“You’re right. We should’ve told you guys we were coming outside. Seismet and Verlet are in the trees, so I didn’t think much about it. We know better now for next time.”
His sneer jerks toward the tree line and his shoulders slump. I honestly have no clue if our Veilataras are right there or not, but they’d get there pretty fast if I needed them to.
“Sorry,” he says, taking a step away from me. He pulls Yemi with him, though. I can’t help the smug grin I give her. “I panicked when you wouldn’t open your door, then when I walked in, it was empty.”
“I’m sorry. I just needed some air.”
“Did you both get enough air?”
“Yeah,” we say at the same time.
No, not at all, but it’s probably best not to argue with him. Plus, we can’t actually talk about shit with him here now.
“Good. Go inside for the night, Thayla. Don’t come back out here alone.”
I scoff and bow dramatically. “Yes, sir, Mr. Sevryn, sir.”
He snarls at me, but his features smooth out at the small laugh that comes from Yemi.
I attempt to tell them good night, but he refuses to leave my back door until I’m inside. The argument on the tip of my tongue stays there as Yemi shoots me a wink and a wave.
Great. I’m under watchful eyes inside my house and from my neighbor.
My door shuts with a deafening click and I rest my head against it, waiting for the lonely silence to sink back into my soul. Instead, singing pierces my ears and my eyes fly open.
I’m across my room faster than my mind has time to catch up. I push my cracked bathroom door open, then freeze as I stare at Riven playing in a mound of bubbles he’s made in my damn hot spring.
Bathtub…whatever.
“What in the realm are you doing?”
“Oh, hey there, little burden. Hope you don’t mind. Verlet’s being a little salty tonight and told me I couldn’t come visit the hot spring. So I came and got in yours.”
“Why would he tell you no?”
“I don’t know. Something about avoidance. Blah, blah, blah. I thought you were in bed with Kyzen?”
I tear my eyes from his bare chest and stare at the wall behind his head.
“I was outside talking to Yemi.”
“Oh, makes sense. I’m sure she needed a little break from Sevryn’s grumpy ass.”
I huff a small laugh. “Something like that.”
He hums and resumes his melody as his fingers wade through the water. My teeth grind together with the abrupt end of the conversation, and I literally have to hold in my scream.
I’ll be damned if I just go lie in my bed or the couch, alone, while he’s in here singing and playing in my fucking bath.
My shirt hitting the ground and me kicking off my shoes doesn’t get his attention, but the sound of my zipper echoing around the small space sure does.
“What are you doing?”
“Getting in my bath.”
“Mini hot spring. You know I’m naked, right?”
Déjà vu hits me as I slide my pants off, leaving me standing in my bra and underwear. A small smirk twitches on my lips as we hold one another’s stare.
My, how the tables have turned.
“I’ll stay on my side. Cross my heart and hope to die at your feet.”
I step on in, sighing as the hot water encases me in comfort. His lack of a retort has me casting my gaze his way.
I didn’t expect a serious scowl to be the look that greeted me.
“No talk of dying.”
“Okay then.”
We drift into silence as my lids slip shut. There’s definitely a strain present that I wish weren’t between us, but it’s better than being alone.
For now, it’s fine, but I don’t know how much longer I can take this.
I’ve always loathed when someone pushed me to talk about stuff. It’s easier when it’s one of them but even some subjects have still been too difficult for me to open up about.
That’s the main reason I’ve given up my fight so fast over these last few days. I don’t know if I’m holding on firm to the belief that they’ll eventually talk on their own or I’m waiting for them to shove it down enough that we go back to normal.
I don’t really want them to shove it down, though.
I want them to feel safe enough to tell me how this has affected them. I don’t know how to communicate that, though, without it coming across like I’m picking a fight or pushing them past their limit.
“Ugh, come on, Thayla. Get it together.”
“It is together. My power is doing absolutely nothing at the moment.”
“I’m aware it isn’t your power. Why did you come in here, infecting the serene space with your gloomy emotions?”
Water splashes all over the bathroom floor as I jump from the built-in seat. The waves cascade so high they slap him in the face and against my thighs.
I turn from him as quickly as possible so he doesn’t see the furious tears building in my eyes.
“So fucking sorry for disturbing your peace, Riven. I’ll go enjoy my own company on the gods damn couch.”
My foot doesn’t make it over the edge before I’m snatched back and positioned on his lap.
His fingers grip my jaw as he pulls my face close to his.
“I’m sorry.”
“For what?” I grit out.
“For how shitty that was and sounded. I said it so you’d leave, then instantly regretted it. I don’t want you to go, but I don’t want my Harmony in control either. I’m not ready for it to come back out, Thayla.”
The sincerity and plea in his tone have me exhaling sharply through my nose.
“Other than me being pissed at you for what you did, is that why you’ve been avoiding me?”
“I haven’t been—”
“You have been avoiding me. Everyone’s been avoiding me.”
“We aren’t avoiding you. We’re avoiding addressing what happened.”
“Yeah, and shutting me out in the process.”
“We aren’t trying to. We just don’t want to express and relive all our fears and worries.”
“Then why the fuck have you all had me do that? You all have made me open up about things I could’ve kept shoved down. Yeah, Amick, Kyzen, and Creed have been forthcoming about some of the things they’ve been through, but not a single one of you will even speak on this.
“It was like we all exploded on you for what you did, you apologized and claimed it had to be done or your power wouldn’t have pushed you.
Then the next morning, the responsibility was placed on Amick to figure out something to do with the Binding.
Now, you all tiptoe around me, completely avoiding any other conversation.
Am I not worthy enough to hear your fears?
Do you all not trust me with knowing them and protecting you from them? Is that it?”
“Don’t even think like that.”
“Then what the hell am I supposed to think like, Riven? That’s the only conclusion I can come to after four days of the silent treatment. None of you think I can handle what’s weighing on you.”
“Maybe we don’t know how to talk to you about this. Maybe we don’t even know how to share it with each other because we never have. Maybe we’re afraid if we tell you the crazy taking place in our minds right now it’ll scare you.”
“Oh my gods, stop with the damn maybes. You don’t think there’s crazy shit running through my overwhelming thoughts?”
The rapid rise and fall of his chest slow as he tugs me closer to his body.
“Tell me.”
“No. I’m not doing this with you. I’m not telling you what’s going through my head only for you to use it as another way to avoid opening up to me. I refuse. I really thought we had our breakthrough in the hot spring, but I was obviously wrong.”