23. Twenty Three
As I carry Elva to the hidden door at the back of the room, the guards push every person away from the doors. Imake a note ofwho I see through their eyes that could have been involved, anyone with even a spot of blood on them. The Syren I killed walks toward me, looking entirely alive to the untrained eye.
Another woman in the crowd screams, desperately asking Sia what she”s doing.
My guardsgrab her as well, having at least two people to begin questioning. The entire band and lead singer are all detained, too.
A familiar head of hair sticks out in the throngs of people, even as he tries to blend in and make himself small.
Shan.
Shan escaped the dungeons. He did this.
A guard drags him with a large armored hand around his throat, pulling them through the door behind me and immediately taking them down to my interrogation rooms. I haven”t needed to use them in years, and I”m sure the devices down there are immensely rusty by now.
But I”ll dole out their punishments and seek answers afterI take care ofElva. So carefully, I carry her up to our chambers,taking care to keepher from being jostled too much.
I can”t stand the blood in her hair; I can”t stand the way it contrasts so much with the lack of color in her cheeks. All that warmth that usually lives in there splattered across the surface instead. After throwing my helm and cloak to the floor, Raya and I gently, thoroughly cleanse every drop of it from her body. Raya doesn”t ask if she”ll be alright. She doesn”t ask anything; she just lets the tears fall down her face as we work. And I don”t bother asking her where she was when it happened, knowing full well that she and Maren had snuck off together long before Elva”s attack.
Once clean and dressed, I tuck Elva into my bed, her head cradled by pillows, her body wrapped in the blankets to keep her warm and aid her healing.
Pulling up a chair to sit beside her, I finally let myself tell her the things I meant to say earlier.
”I need you to stay with me, Elva,” I confess. ”I”ll accept it, even if it”s not right here in this room or in this country. But you have to stay on this mortal plane. I can”t bear the thought of living in a world you”re not in.”
This is what I asked for, isn”t it? A way to tell her everything without her hearing it at all. And I wanted to see her coated in blood. Anyone”s, I had said, but never, in my worst nightmares, did I think it would be her own. This is a cruel trick of fate. A malicious play on what I wished for.
”You can”t die.” I hold her frigid hand in mine. ”I haven”t shown you everything yet. You have to see Slawyth. You have to see the basilisk tracks we talked about.”
Silence. Silence I knew would happen and cuts me open all the same.
”You have to wake up, my Elva. You haven”t even heard all the stories Ihave totell you.” The lump in my throat grows, making it difficult to speak around. ”We have to go see the Wolpertinger when it snows. Gods, you would love them. They”re so ugly.” A sniffling laugh escapes me. ”They”re little bunnies with antlers and wings and sharp teeth so large they cut theirownlips open whenever they eat. I haven”t even told you about them yet because I wanted to show them to you.To seethe surprised, ecstatic look on your face when you see one.
”They only live in the Eyes” territory, right on the border of Elomid and the Forbidden Forest. They”re some of the few fair folk who dare venture so far from their home—and only in the middle of winter. Don”t ask me why I was already planning that far ahead, even knowing you”d be long gone before then.”
Not even a flinch, just the shallow, steady movement of her chest. Every second she”s unconscious destroys what”s left of my sanity. My people and the visitors from every nation around us are downstairs, trapped in a ballroom, waiting to see if they live or die.
”You can”t die, my sweet,” I confess to my sleeping Elva. ”If you do, everyone downstairs will, too. I know you don”t give a fuck about your own safety, but please, just wake up. For them, for your fucking peace you”ve worked so hard to achieve. Even if it”s just to yell at me for doing this to our guests downstairs, please, you have to wake up.”
Her colorless, almost lifeless form remainsstill, justas I knew it would. And probably will remain until her body can no longer try to regain the blood it”s lost, and she”s gone from this world forever.
”I”m sorry, little king,” Olath”s voice floats into my ear from behind me.
”Us, too,” Onala and Ovoor add.
I really don”t want to deal with the incessant, relentless madness from the witches, so I ignore them, hoping they”ll just fuck right off.
”It was unavoidable,”Onala”s somber tone makes my chest ache even more. I don”t want their pity. I just want Elva. ”There was not a single future in which it didn”t happen. Her coming here set her future in stone.”
I stand suddenly, the chair flying out from under me. ”Then what was the fucking point of all of this?”
”It”s not just about her,”Onala breathes, her eyes somewhere far away. ”This moment impacts every living thing in this world. It had to come to pass, and whether she lives or dies, the future of everyone hinges on her.”
”That”s such a heavy responsibility for someone so young and frail, someone who”s not even conscious.”I rub my eyes with a thumb and forefinger.
The witches all share a look. ”We care for her too, you know,”Olath finally admits. ”You”re not the only one mourning her.”
”She”s not dead,”I grit.
”She might be,”Onala admits. ”She both is and is not, and only she can decide which outcome is true.”
”So what am I supposed to do? Just sit here and wait?”I look behind me at the sullen, gray version of my lively Elva, each second of staring at her perfect, barely breathing body an eternity of pain.
”You find her attacker,”Ovoor tells me. ”You find them and do what you must.”
”But you know who it is.”My teeth clench, not willing to look at them. ”You could just tell me.”
”We cannot interfere, little king. You know this,”Onala chides me like a child.
”Why not?”I throw my hands in the air. ”Why can”t you help us? Help her?”
”We can.”Olath slowly nods. ”We will watch over her while you find vengeance.”
Onala adds, ”She”s under no threat. Not for some time, in fact. Or ever if she dies now.”
”So, go do what you must and destroy your enemies,”Ovoor comments. ”You know who they are, even if you don”t know that you know.”
Riddles and nonsense, these witches speak.
”I”m staying with Elva,”I demand. ”Until she wakes.”
”There”s nothing you can do for her here.”Olath lifts my chair, setting it where I had it, and taking a seat. ”Go. We have her. She”s important, remember?”
Onala places a hand on my shoulder, and I have to fight not to flinch away from her touch. She always looks like any part of her is sharp enough to slice someone open. ”Go find answers. If she wakes, we will bring her to you. If she does not, you”ll need the proof only your prisoners can provide.”
I consider arguing again, but even this bit of information they”ve given me, and their willingness to stay with Elva, is more than I ever could have asked from them. Whatever the reason, they seem to need Elva to wake up even more than I do. And while I wait, I can do what I do best.
So I grab my discarded helm and cloak, dawning the visage that I”ve done so many times before. I shake out the fear, the anxiety growing in my stomach, the utter terror of seeing Elva so lifeless. Then I go to face my prisoners.
Nothing.
All night long, I”ve cut, and I”ve skinned, and I”ve filleted fucking fish.
With nothing to show for it except two piles of fucking sashimi. I cut slices of their legs off, and as soon as they”re no longer attached, they turn back into their original scaly state.
The two Syrens, one of whom happened to be the lead singer of the band, and Shan either have very adept skills at withstanding torture, or they truly have had their memories tampered with to ensure they couldn”t ruin the plot.
Obviously, it”s not unheard of. I have my own memory tamperer just off the castle grounds.They”renot all that hardto find.But who, then, is orchestrating all of this? I ask the same questions for the 100th time, rewording them differently each time, hoping for a new answer. Or even a new question to ask.
”What do you remember?”I ask Shan when his sniffling and pissing has ceased. ”Why give away your memories?”
”We had to!”one of the Syrens shouts from the opposite side of the cell. ”We were told the only things we could know were our names and our missions.”
Fucking Gods above. Useless, useless captives.
”And what was your mission?”I ask her, watching as her blood leaks through holes in her abdomen. Not enough to kill, but immensely painful from the rusty, rough-edged paring knife.
”Dance and sing. Add to the band”s spell. Then hide until they come for me.”Her eyes glaze over, from the pain or the missing memories, I can”t be sure.
”And you?”I ask the other Syren.
”Sing a song, lead the band. Then hide until they come for me.”
”Fucking fuck, here we go again.”
Before I can ask Shan, he answers already, all of us knowing his is my least favorite answer, ”Kill the girl, make it quick, no need for her to suffer. Then hide until they come for me.”
I”m not sure whose skull I want to bash into the wall more, mine or theirs. Even the Syren I already killed doesn”t have any helpful information. Distract the king. Then hide until they come for me. Those two sentences repeated in her head over and over again until I couldn”t stand to hear them anymore, and I released her soul and body, letting them both rest.
”Who was coming?”I ask through gritted teeth. ”A man? Woman? A mortal at all? A caravan of them?”
Shan shrugs. ”I don”t know. All I know is that someone would come find me and give me my memories back.”
”Why would you agree to this? What do you gain?”
”Legs!”the girls scream for the umpteenth time. ”We just wanted legs!”
My head aches. ”And you were willing to be a part of this scheme just because you didn”t want tails anymore? Are they really so terrible?”
”Yes! Well, no.”
I wait for her to amend her statement or add to it.
”I just wanted to be with the man I love. And he lives on land,”the one called Veil tells me, the first new information I”ve gained in hours.
”And who is this man that you love?”
Her fingers rub against her temples as she tries to remember. ”I don”t know.”
If I stand here even for one more minute, I”m going to kill all of them. I already lost it on the band, removing their souls from their bodies within moments. They spoke in garbled nonsense, knowing nothing but how to play music. Whoever has been messing with memories destroyed every bit of humanity in them, leaving behind only their talents.
It was a mercy to put them down, and it almost took the edge off my rage.But now, I”m feeling even more murderous than before, and if I kill the prisoners, there”s no reason to believe their memories will somehow materialize in death, and I”ll be even further away from the answers I seek.
”Kai,”Raya”s voice carries down the hallway. ”You cannot still be down here. You need to rest.”
I close my eyes briefly, the world spinning behind them due tomyexhaustion. ”I can”t, not yet. Not until I get answers.”
”You”re exhausted.”She suddenly appears far closer than she was a moment ago. I must have dozed off for a second. ”You need to get some sleep, or you”ll be useless.”
I know she”s right. I need to sleep, but when I sleep, so will all of my undead, leaving my castle with only halfofits protectors. It”s just about shift change, the living taking over for the dead, so I can at least get a few hours.
The mortal guards step into the ballroom, their orders already relayed to them by Gerald. Sending the undead to an empty chamber where they always rest, I breathe a sigh of relief when I allow them to drop to the floor in a heap, free from my orders for the moment.
The relief and bone-deep exhaustion leave my vision foggy, like my eyesare unable tofocus on anything. It feels like sand is trapped between my lids and eyes, scraping with every blink. ”Fine.”I accept my fate. ”Just a few hours of rest.”
The walk back up to my rooms is infinite and all too fast at once. I ache to close my eyes and sleep, but Iknow once I enter my bedroom and see Elva lying there motionless, I”ll lose any semblance of self-control I have left.
With each step up the stairs, my legs become heavier and harder to lift until I”m dragging myself along, barely lifting my feet from the ground.
When I find the courage to walk into my bedroom, everything is as I left it, unfortunately.
The Eyes remain by Elva”s bedside, watching her wordlessly. They look up at me as I enter, their faces impassive. I haven”t been able to look at Elva yet; I”m too scared to find her changed and equally scared that nothing has changedat all.
The only thing different from how I left her before is her hair. It”s dried now, and Raya took the time to work some of that creamy stuff into it, showing Elva love and respect even when she”s fighting her way back from the dead. I sit on the bed beside her, gently toying with one of the curls.
”There”s been no change,”Ovoor tells me, and I nod, having expected that.
”But she”s still on this mortal plane, so take comfort in that,”Olath adds.
Onala clears her throat, the closest she”s ever come to showing emotion. ”There”s still so many futures where she dies, Your Majesty. And fewer and fewer where she lives. Every moment she remains asleep, the possibility of her waking lessens.”
I nod again, the helm shaking as I do.
Tired of wearing it and longing tojustbe myself, I take the thing off, setting it gently on the bedside table, followed by my cloak.
”We”ll leave you be, little king,”Olath says quietly before they all vanish, leaving behind a silent wisp of smoke.
Then I”m once again alone with my Elva, praying to whatever god will listen. If any of them are even real. Begging someone to keep my girl alive at any cost.
With a groan, I pour myself into the chair beside her, reaching tohave her hand in mine.It”s freezing and colorless, the cold jarring even through my gloves. But there”s still hope, though it grows smaller and smaller every moment.
With her tiny hand cradled in mine, I rest my head on the bed. Just for a few minutes, I tell myself, I can rest. If she wakes, I”ll be the first to know. And if she does not, I”ll wait here with her until they come to kill me and destroy my kingdom.
I must doze off, the silence around me filling with the cawing of birds at the rising sun. Again, the seagulls call, and in my dream-addled mind, I see them flying around us, attempting to peck at Elva.
In my half-awake nightmare, I fight them off, trying to keep the wicked things from harming my Elva any further.
Kairon,the birds call, taunting me. Your Majesty, they spit. Again and again, they say my name, the sound a horrid imitation of my Elva, torturing me even in sleep.
”Kairon,” someone says.
My head snaps up,comingface to face with Elva. Groggy, unfocused, barely able to speak my name, but alive. Relief fills me, so palpable my body breaks out in goosebumps and the world around me becomes blurry from the water gathering in my eyes.
”Elva,”her name escapes as little more than a whimper, the tears and lump in my throat showing every emotion I feel as plain as day.
”Why is it so cold in here?”she asks, shivering and pulling the blanketuparound her.
I sniffle, fighting to hold myself together and not frighten her. ”Do you remember what happened?”
”Ummm.”She blinks repeatedly. ”We danced and fought. Then I started drinking more wine. Did I drink too much and make a fool of myself?”Embarrassment shows on her face, and the lack of blush in it from blood loss makes me sick.
I shake my head. ”No, my Elva. You were attacked. You lost a lot of blood.”
”Attacked?”Her eyes start to water, and she places her free hand over her stomach. ”Shan.”
With a nod, I take her other hand in mine again. ”But you”re alive. The healer stopped the bleeding, but he couldn”t replenish the blood lost, you see. So we all just had to wait and hope you”d wake up. I knew you would,”I tell her, wiping a tear from my cheek. ”The Eyes weren”t even sure; they said it was up to you. But I knew you were too stubborn to let something as trivial as a stab wound stop you.”
”Kai.”Her lip wobbles, and she gently squeezes my hand.
I nod, finally having the opportunity to do the first thing I swore I would do when she awoke. ”I”m sorry for what I said to you yesterday. You didn”t deserve that.”
”Apparently, I did.”She laughs. ”I did get myself stabbed.”
”That is not funny, Elva.”
She grins, the motion languid and sleepy, still so unlike herself. ”It”s kind of funny.”
I scoff, a small smile pulling at the corner of my mouth against my will. ”You”re so fucking lucky you”re too hurt for me to punish you for that.”
Her smile grows, a fire lighting behind her eyes. ”There”s always later.”
If I”ve learned anything, it”s that there is, in fact, not always later. But she”s relentlessly hopeful. She was inches from death not ten minutes ago, and now she”s convinced we have all the time in the world.
”Did you kill him?”she asks quietly.
”Not yet,”I shrug. ”I was trying, and failing, to get information out of him and the Syrens first.”
”I”ll do it,”she tells me, catching me completely off-guard.
”You”ll get the information? Or you”ll kill him?” I joke.
”First one.”
”Elva, my sweet. I know you”re probably feeling quite immortal right now, having just come back from the brink of death, but—”
She laughs again, this time wicked and dark,the wayI feel before a satisfying kill. Even with the lack of color in her face, she”s so lively and beautiful right now that I ache to smother her mouth with my own, to feel her and remind us both justhow alive we are.
”Kai,”she says my name. ”Please. I can do this. It certainly won”t be my first interrogation.”
I”m tempted to refuseherand keep her here where I know she”s safest. But she”s sure this is something she can do, so who would I be to refuse her? I settle on a compromise in my own mind. ”Rest, then—”She begins to argue, and I hold up a palm to stop her. ”Rest. Then, when you”ve recovered, we will go. Your body would barely be able to hold you upright right now, so you have to recover. Someone is going to bring you something to eat and a lot of water. First thing tomorrow, I will take you to do whatever form of interrogation you see fit. The only thing I ask in return is that you accept that afterward, they”re all going to die. No one comes into my castle and harms my— my guests and lives.”
She purses her lips, unhappy with the deal, anxious to beginherquestioning now, but evenshe knows she”s in no position to argue. ”Fine.”
”Thank you.”
”But you have to let me do it my way,”she adds.
”I can think of nothing better,”I admit, curious what on earth she could mean by her way. Does she think she”ll charm Shan and the Syrens into remembering something? Or is my Elva secretly an expert on torture methods?I”dvery muchlike to see the second option in action.
She relents, closing her eyes and drifting back to sleep while I wait for servants to bring food and water. While I wait, I send a guard to release all the people waiting in the ballroom to discover their fate.
The castle empties rapidly, everyone unwilling to remain in a place where their lives hinge on one very mortal girl. Tirriel and Colm retire to theirownrooms, furious at the detainment, but Maren chooses to remain in hers, patiently awaiting news.
There”s no longer any denying to anyone that this girl is important to me. If anything, this has put an even bigger target on her back. Going home now won”t guarantee her safety anymore. Anyone could attack her there, knowing it”ll send me into a killing spree that will inevitably end with someone finally ending me and my reign.
I rest my head on the bed again, closing my eyes and letting my exhaustion take hold as I consider myverylimited options.