Chapter 34
THEN
Mid August
‘We’re late,’ I said, glancing at my watch as I hurried Ryan down the road from the flat.
‘The Black Swan is only around the corner,’ he replied with a shrug.
‘Which should have meant we’d be on time at least,’ I replied, trying not to let my irritation show. ‘I don’t want to keep your parents waiting.’
‘They’ll get a drink if they beat us.’
‘That’s not the point. This lunch is important,’ I insisted.
‘It’ll be fine,’ Ryan said, far too laid-back about the whole situation.
I stifled a sigh. His blasé attitude was doing nothing to ease the nerves churning my stomach. Sunday lunch with his parents had seemed like a good idea when I’d suggested it. But, now, the prospect of a roast dinner weighing heavily in my already uncomfortable stomach wasn’t appealing.
Nor was making small talk with Denise.
I glanced at Ryan as we walked hand in hand towards the pub entrance. I was doing this for him, I reminded myself. To get his dad used to us. To me.
And then… A smile crept across my lips.
We could get married officially.
My gaze scanned the tables as we stepped inside the pub. Maybe they weren’t here yet. Maybe we—
I froze.
Charlotte.
Seated opposite Denise and Martin, as though she belonged here.
As though she’d been invited.
My head jolted to Ryan. ‘What’s she doing here?’ I hissed.
‘I don’t know.’ He let my hand drop as he waved at them. ‘Mum must have invited her.’
I didn’t move. I couldn’t.
Ryan put his hand against my lower back and gave me a nudge forwards.
I didn’t have a choice. It wasn’t as though I could turn straight back around and leave. Though, as I glanced over my shoulder at the door behind me, it was incredibly tempting.
‘Sorry we’re late,’ Ryan said, as we reached the table. He patted his dad on his shoulder, and kissed his mum on the cheek, as I stood awkwardly to the side.
Charlotte leapt out of her chair and flung her arms around his neck.
‘I love this place,’ Charlotte gushed. ‘Thanks for inviting me.’
I blinked.
He’d invited her?
‘I—’ Ryan started.
‘Come and sit by me,’ Charlotte cut him off, pulling him down into the seat beside hers.
I stood staring at them. The four of them seated around the table as though they belonged there. At the table I’d booked. The table for four.
‘You don’t mind Charlotte joining us, do you, Kirsty?’ Martin said. ‘Didn’t feel right to leave her out, did it, love?’ he asked, turning to Denise.
‘No,’ Denise said. ‘She’s practically family,’ she added yet again, looking at me pointedly.
I plastered a smile on my face. ‘Of course,’ I muttered, hoping it sounded less hostile than I felt.
I turned away, searching for another chair.
‘Is this chair free?’ I asked a couple at the next table.
They smiled warmly. ‘Help yourself, love,’ the woman said, nudging the chair closer to me.
‘Thanks,’ I replied, smiling back, briefly wishing I could join them for lunch instead. The reception I’d got from strangers had already been warmer and more welcoming than the one that awaited me at my table.
I dragged the chair over, the legs scraping loudly across the floor. Heat crept into my face as heads turned towards me at the noise.
Why had I suggested here? It had seemed smart at the time. Our pub. Our town. Somewhere I’d feel comfortable and yet that was still neutral ground.
Not the stables.
Not the hotel.
Not our flat.
But it still felt like my space had been invaded.
By her.
‘Do you need a hand?’ Ryan asked as I manoeuvred the chair into the end of the table by him.
Seriously? Now he offers to help?
‘No,’ I replied with a tight smile. ‘I’ve got it, thanks.’
‘We were just deciding what to have,’ Charlotte said, passing me a menu, acting graciously as though she was the host. ‘I hear the roasts are good.’
I gritted my teeth. ‘I know, that’s why I booked it.’
Charlotte turned back to Martin, and the conversation shifted to the stables.
I stared at the menu without reading it.
How had this happened? This was supposed to be about me and Ryan’s parents getting to know each other away from Blackwater. But, somehow, they’d brought it with them. And her along with it.
A ripple of laughter spread across the table. I glanced at Ryan, his eyes crinkled, his gaze fixed on Charlotte.
My fingers tightened around the menu. I couldn’t remember the last time he’d laughed like that with me. But I could remember him laughing with her…
Two Years Ago – Mid August
I lifted the pile of invoices and fanned them in front of me, the slight breeze doing little to cool me.
I glanced at the small window, already open as wide as possible, and yet I was still wilting. The office felt suffocating and the smell of the stalls just outside the door seemed even stronger than usual. Thick and inescapable.
‘Got the feed delivery note for you,’ Charlotte said, breezing into the office, and dropped a sheet of paper on the desk in front of me.
She looked flawless, in skinny jeans and a strappy top, with her hair loose and glossy around her shoulders.
‘Can you believe this heatwave?’ she asked, flipping her hair over her shoulder. ‘Isn’t it awesome?’
I shifted in my chair, trying to sit up straighter, but my thighs stuck to the leather chair, making a soft humiliating sound as I peeled them away.
‘Yeah, it’s something alright,’ I said grumpily.
I pushed a loose strand of hair back into my ponytail and resumed fanning, but my make-up clung to my skin, thick and heavy.
How did Charlotte look so fresh and cool when she’d been working with the horses all day? While I was a sweaty mess just sitting in the office.
She gave a little laugh before pivoting on her heel and disappearing back into the stables.
I let out a sigh as I turned back to the computer.
It was so unfair.
At least in Malta the heat had been different. I groaned wistfully as I recalled the air-conditioned lobby of the hotel there. Clean and fresh. With absolutely no horses.
A burst of laughter filtered in from the stalls.
I froze, my fingers resting on the worn keyboard as my gaze drifted towards the open office door, following the vaguely familiar sound.
Ryan’s laugh. Rich. Loud. Unrestrained.
I hadn’t heard him laugh like that in weeks. Not since we’d arrived in Dorset. And certainly not when he was with me.
I pushed my chair back and moved towards the door.
Charlotte and Ryan stood beside Atlas’s stall. Her hand rested lightly on his forearm as laughter erupted from him.
They were standing so close to each other. Too close.
I took a step forward, impulsively wanting to intervene. To separate them. To remind him of my presence. My existence.
I hesitated. My gaze dropped to my dress, damp and clinging.
Charlotte shot a glance back over her shoulder, staring straight at me.
Realisation hit me. This was for my benefit. She’d known I would hear them from the office. That I would be jealous.
I turned quickly and slipped back behind my desk. But it was too late.
We both knew she’d won.
‘What are you having?’ Ryan asked, breaking into my thoughts.
‘Oh, erm…’ I tried to focus on the menu.
‘Chicken, like usual?’
Charlotte’s eyebrows lifted. ‘You always have the same thing?’
I felt a prickle of embarrassment.
‘Actually, I think I’ll have the beef.’
Ryan shrugged. ‘Okay.’
Martin pushed his chair back. ‘Right then, shall we order at the bar, son?’
Ryan nodded and followed behind.
I stared at his departing back for a moment, before my gaze shifted back to the table. Charlotte and Denise were staring straight at me.
Why hadn’t I offered to go with the men?
‘It’s sweet,’ Charlotte said.
My brow furrowed. ‘What is?’
‘This.’ She gestured around the table. ‘You trying.’
My stomach tightened.
‘Trying?’
I glanced at Denise. She lifted her glass of white wine to her lips, her gaze still locked on me, but she said nothing.
‘Trying to force your way into the family.’
My jaw dropped open as I turned back to Charlotte. ‘I’m not trying to force my way into anything.’
‘Sunday lunch was a smart way to do it,’ Charlotte continued, as though she hadn’t heard me.
‘We invited Ryan’s parents to join us for lunch, so we could all get to know each other better.’
Charlotte snorted. ‘We already know enough about you to know you don’t belong here.’ She waved her hand dismissively. ‘You didn’t two years ago, and you don’t now.’
I swallowed.
‘I think Ryan would disagree with you.’
Even as I said it, I wondered how true it was.
‘The two of you may have had some fun in Malta. But this – us – is real life. Ryan’s life.’
‘Maybe,’ I said quietly. ‘But I’m part of his life now too.’ I smiled. ‘His future.’
Charlotte’s jaw tightened and she looked like she was about to respond, but then her gaze shifted over my head. ‘That was quick.’
Ryan and Martin slipped back into their seats.
‘So, what are you girls talking about?’ Martin asked.
‘Oh, we were just saying what a pleasure it is to get to know Kirsty after all this time,’ Charlotte said, smiling sweetly at me. ‘She was never really very involved with the family before.’