Chapter 26 Dane
DANE
“Are you out of your fucking mind?” Kobi’s words blare through the speaker as I exit my favorite Parisian café.
“What?” I shrug, peering at him through the screen before looking both ways to cross the street. “It’s not like I pulled a Hudson and got drunk married in Vegas to a complete stranger.”
Kobi rolls his eyes. “No…that’s easily fixable by filing some papers. You permanently tattooed your skin with remnants of them.” His eyes are wide, giving me a condescending look.
“I don’t know why this surprises you. It’s not like it’s the most impulsive thing I’ve ever done.
Plus, look at it.” I shift the camera over to my shoulder to show him the inked scratch lines and small crescent moons from Hannah's fingernails, then move the phone to the crease in my neck, over my trap muscle. “They’re perfect.”
“You tattooed his bite mark on your neck, Dane.”
“It’s not my neck, it’s my trapezius, totally different spot.”
“You know what I mean,” he palms his face, “and yes, you’re the most impulsive person I’ve ever known but it’s always been with your life or travel or your random purchases. Never with people or relationships. Tattooing someone else marks on you—”
“It’s hot, right? I think they’ll like it.” I interrupt him because he knows the only other tattoo I’ve ever put on my body was for Celeste.
I avoid looking into the camera and shuffle quickly over the sidewalk toward the hotel.
Luckily, it’s not busy this early in the morning because I really want to get back to them before they wake up.
I snuck out last night, which would have been weird if they caught me leaving at that hour.
I did end up falling asleep between them, but I woke up after only an hour of sleep and when I saw the marks they both left I couldn’t get the idea of keeping them permanently marked there forever out of my head.
Like my own personal matching scar to theirs.
I texted the tattoo artist I know in Paris and luckily she was still open. I paid her triple her going rate so she could start and finish before the sun came up and I couldn’t be happier with how they turned out.
It’s official. I’m obsessed. I’m head over heels sinfully consumed by everything about them and I’m ready to tell them after last night.
Let’s just fucking lean into this. That’s what they say right?
The bolt of excitement that ran through me when they agreed to change their flight, let’s just say I’m thoroughly impressed with my self control, considering all of my normal control has been non-existent when it comes to them.
“Are you sure they don’t know who you are?” Kobi asks softly.
I get why he’s asking. People that know who I am when they meet me want something from me. Most often money or the connections I have.
Getting the payout, and continuous royalties I receive for my code, was by far the most exciting but debilitating thing I’ve ever done in my life.
It’s given me the freedom to live how I want, but handcuffed me when it came to my love life.
Not that I needed much of one since I haven’t had anything serious since Celeste.
Naturally, my ‘one-date Dane” nickname sort of became a trend and the media awarded me with the title; the most eligible bachelor most likely to never settle down.
Back then I didn’t care much, not when the only person I ever wanted was Celeste. I used my fame and money as a tool and rode the media rage well, telling any girl—or guy—that I wasn’t interested in anything more than just having some fun.
All of them always said they understood, but it ended in one extreme or the other. They would only hook up with me because they wanted to put that notch on their belt or it was a feeble attempt to make me fall in love with them, like they thought they would somehow be different.
As active as that lifestyle is, I still feel lonely. And even though my friends thought I was off galavanting around the world, hooking up with someone different every night, that’s been far from the truth. Lately, I’ve been alone more than I’m not. Hiking, or exploring by myself.
Maybe that’s what got me to agree to teach in Seattle and stay put for a while. It’s something new I’ve never done but it’s also near all of my friends, except Kobi.
There’s something brutally ironic about constantly traveling, meeting new people and always being around others, yet feeling utterly alone. Keeping people at such a distance so they don’t know who you really are. It’s exhausting and I’m ready for a change.
Seattle will be a perfect restart for me.
“They have no clue. We’ve kept all the personal stuff out of it. They don’t know where I live or what I do. They still don’t know my last name,” I finally reply, relieved I can see the hotel just a few feet in front of me.
“This is sudden. That’s all I’m saying.” I glance into the screen, Kobi’s emerald green eyes pierce through me with concern.
I stop in front of the building, the look reflected in the bottom corner of my thumbnail is vulnerable, honest. “I’ve missed this.
This type of connection. I missed caring about someone so deeply that making them a priority was easy.
” He smiles back at me at the admission.
Even with his pushback on my whirlwind romance I can see the happiness behind his eyes.
He was closest with me and Celeste. After everything happened he sort of took on the big brother role in my life.
It was a strange feeling at first, being that I’m an only child, but he’s always kept an eye on me and made sure I was okay.
Because I think out of all my friends, he always knew deep down, I was never okay.
I don’t need his approval on this, but I really want his support.
“Well, tell them then. Make sure they know how you feel and do whatever you need to do to make it work.”
I can’t stop the shit-eating grin that beams over my face. “I gotta run, I’m heading back into the hotel.”
“Have fun brother, call me later.”
“Thanks Kob,” I say, still smiling as I end the call. Tapping the ‘up’ button on the elevator, it dings and opens immediately and I step in.
I wonder if they’re awake or still sleeping. If I were to guess Hannah is still sleeping but Ethan is probably awake and overthinking every single moment from last night. Probably pacing the room with his coffee, debating on all the ways he will try and ignore me today. Ignore his feelings.
But I won’t let him.
Not anymore.
I’m out of the elevator even before the echo of the ding fades.
My heart beats wildly out of my chest with nerves. I know we have something but thinking them is completely different than admitting the words out loud.
Maybe I’ll sign it to them instead, proving to them it’s just another way this is meant to be. That we were destined to meet, to explore this.
Scanning my keycard, a low buzz and green light grant me entry and I step through the door cautiously.
The curtain is pulled slightly open allowing a sliver of light through the dark room and a lamp in the corner is lit. One I didn’t turn on, so I know someone is or was awake.
It’s eerily quiet though. Uncomfortably quiet. There’s a stillness in the air that’s only present when no one else is.
I get a sinking feeling in my stomach, one that pulls it down with such force it ricochets to my throat.
The low hum of the miniature refrigerator is the only sound in the room and Hannah’s clothes that were strewed along the floor are gone.
“No,” the words come out breathy. Defeated.
I rush to the bedroom but I already know.
I know before opening the door. I know before my eyes take in the bare, unmade bed and I know before I see the empty closet with only my backpack sitting there.
I know as I plop down on the edge of the cold mattress and suck in the stale air that they left and they have no plans of coming back.
I know all of this, but my heart feels like it breaks all the same.