32. Raina
32
RAINA
I stayed in the intensive care unit for five days after I woke from my coma before they moved me into observation. And the morning after I was transferred, a delivery of gaillardias in a small terracotta pot showed up.
The captain was the only person I could think of who might know that blanket flowers were my favorite. So I called him from my cell phone that I d found in my bag of personal effects. A nurse had lent me a cord to charge it, and now that I could have some contact with the outside world, I felt a lot more in control of myself.
But the captain who d had to go home for the week to return to his charter told me he hadn t sent the flowers.
The only other person I could think of who might know about my love for gaillardias was Kinsey.
So from there, I somehow convinced myself that she d sent them.
Yes, from beyond the grave.
When I tried to tell Oaklynn and her friend, Faith, when they visited about Kinsey s delivery, they only looked at me warily, as if they didn t want to inform me I was insane.
But I wasn t sure why it was that crazy of an idea. Both of them could see the freaking dead.
You don t see her anywhere, do you? I asked. Do you think her ghost would visit me here?
Sweetie. Oaklynn took my hand and patted it. Not everyone who dies turns into a ghost.
But she might have, I insisted hopefully. Hey, do you think you could go to where the crash site was and look around? Maybe she s there.
Oaklynn opened her mouth, and I knew she was going to object, but Faith spoke up, saying, Of course we could do that for you, hon. No problem.
When Oaklynn shot her a surprised look, she only shrugged. We did it for Parker. And it ll take—what—a couple of hours to look around. We can do this for Raina. Turning to me, Faith assured, We ll do it.
Thank you, I rasped. I hope you find her.
After they left, I pulled my bag of personal effects back into my lap, bored and needing something to do. When my set of keys fell out into my lap first, I picked them up, blinking in confusion because I was sure I hadn t seen them in there before.
Had I?
The doctor had warned me my mind might play tricks on me for a while. I could hallucinate and think all kinds of things were happening that weren t. And I had called for some water right after the nurse had brought me a cup. My memory definitely needed work.
But I was so sure these keys had not been in that bag before.
Looking at them now, I winced, wondering how bad off my apartment must be. My plant was probably dead, and the expired food in my refrigerator—Whew. That wasn t going to be pleasant to clean out.
Missing my apartment and wishing I could be there instead of here, I shoved the keys away and cried.
Then I took a nap because absolutely everything drained me. Even crying.
When I woke, I was disoriented and didn t know what time or even what day it was. Afraid I d fallen into another coma, I called the nurse, who moodily informed me I d only been asleep for an hour.
I guess I d bothered her enough with that very question. So I refrained from calling her back to help me to the bathroom seconds after she stalked out.
Earlier that day, I d been able to take five steps unassisted before my knees started to wobble and give out. But at least I had the basic action down, which Chad claimed was great progress.
So I decided I d just use my IV pole as a stand-in walker, and I crept my way into the restroom. I m not sure how I accomplished my business, but I was even able to wash my hands before my equilibrium, which already didn t feel stable, really started to blink out. I was halfway back to the bed, my legs shaking like crazy, when the world tipped sideways, and I no longer knew if I was upright or not.
Ah, shit, I breathed, knowing I was going down.
Whoa, whoa, hey ! I heard a male voice order before my face slammed against a human chest.
Arms latched around me, grounding me enough to realize I was at least upright. Barely.
Thank you, I slurred, tipping my head back to look up at my savior.
For some reason, I was kind of expecting to see Foster s face. So when some other guy scowled down at me, instead, I was actually disappointed.
He seemed extremely familiar though, and a sense of déjà vu hit me unaware.
Should you even be walking? he groused as he manually picked me up and carried me back to the bed.
Shh, I told him, pressing a finger to my lips. Don t tell on me.
Fucking great, he muttered before gently placing me on the mattress. I m aiding and abetting a mutiny.
Glad to be back on the solid bed, I sighed in relief and curled onto my side, hugging the pillow under my head.
I had to pee, I admitted, only to shake my finger at my guest and frown. Don t I know you?
He shrugged and shoved his hands into his pockets. We met once.
The night of my accident, I realized. You bought the rideshare I crashed in.
With a grimace, he sent me a tight-lipped smile. Don t worry; I gave them a one-star review.
Sighing in exhaustion, I closed my eyes. So you re here out of some guilty obligation to make sure I m okay, too, huh?
He lifted one eyebrow. Too?
Yeah. Like your friend. He thought visiting and leaving me balloons and gifts and being nice to my dad would clear away all the accountability he felt toward me.
Since you mentioned him, he said as he sat down in a nearby chair and crossed one calf over his other knee. I heard you kicked him out and told him to never come back.
My brow furrowed in irritation. I was having a bad day, I grumbled. I might have spoken a little too rashly.
Are you rescinding his banishment, then?
He seemed a little too invested in my answer, which made me feel uncomfortable because every day that Foster didn t return to the hospital to see me, I felt more and more…disappointed.
I don t know, I mumbled aloud, not sure of anything anymore as I lifted one shoulder. My gaze slid toward all the gifts he d left me. It s probably for the best that he stays away. I m not very good company. Motioning toward my gaillardias, I asked, Did you send me those flowers?
My visitor glanced over. Nope. Sorry.
I nodded. Didn t think so. Gaillardias are my favorite.
Hmm. His gaze slid to the potted plant with renewed interest.
I think my sister sent them, I started hopefully, needing someone to believe me. Somehow, I added with less certainty. From, you know, the other side.
The guy slid his gaze from the flowers and back to me. After my parents died in a car crash, I kept thinking they left me little gifts. Pushing to his feet with a sigh, he bluntly added, But they never did.
I swallowed thickly, not especially a fan of his hard truth. Kinsey might have, though.
He didn t answer, merely reached out and touched my hair sadly. I m sorry about your sister, he said. I wish like hell that I hadn t had any part in her death.
You didn t, I assured him, feeling my eyes mist. After all the crying I d done lately, I wasn t sure how my tear ducts hadn t dried up by now, but here came more. It was my fault, I explained as I wiped my cheeks. I m the one who just had to go meet some stupid guy on the other side of town.
He s not stupid, I was told.
When I looked up in surprise, my guest shook his head. He s among the best people I know. And he s worth a second chance. You should give him one.
I blinked at him, not sure what to say.
He cleared his throat, clearly uncomfortable with my silence, and he stuffed his hands back into his pockets. Anyway, I just wanted to give you my condolences and let you know you don t have to worry about any hospital bills.
I straightened in surprise. I actually hadn t thought about how much all this was going to cost, but now I was. And there was no way one person could just take care of that kind of bill.
Was there?
See you around, Red, he told me with a bob of the head as he turned away and started out the door.
I touched my hair, still adoring it when someone acknowledged the red in it, only to call, Hey. I don t remember your name.
Probably for the best, he said and left the room without even glancing back.
I dropped my hands into my lap lamely and looked around me at the light blue walls. Then I cried some more.