Chapter 17
In the wake of Danni discovering the truth, Hope had begged her not to make any hasty decisions about telling her brother and sister-in-law.
‘I promised Esther there’d be no more secrets.’ All the colour seemed to drain out of Danni’s face when she whispered the words, as if she suddenly realised the weight of the promise she’d made.
‘Can we at least meet to talk about it first, where there’s no chance of anyone else overhearing?
’ Hope’s tone was pleading and she was pretty sure her eyes were too, because she was desperate to try and slow things down, when they suddenly felt like they were spiralling out of control.
She could kick herself for not applying the same caution with Louie and wished she’d made sure they’d talked in the knowledge that there wasn’t anyone else around.
But the craziness of the conclusion he’d reached about Joe had thrown her.
She’d questioned how Louie could possibly think that way, when her feelings for him seemed so obvious to her.
Although she had to admit she had pressed him for information about Joe when they were together, and she had no doubt that there had been a look of intensity on her face when she’d been watching Joe at the baby shower.
It was all such a mess, but at least Danni agreed to wait.
‘We could meet by the car park at Dagger’s Head for a walk tomorrow?’ Danni suggested.
‘I’m on nights so I’ll have to try and get a couple of hours’ sleep in the afternoon, before I start work, but I could meet you in the morning if you’re free?’
‘How about we meet at 10 a.m.?’
As Hope nodded in response, Danni blew out her cheeks. ‘I still can’t believe it’s true. Are you sure?’
‘Absolutely. I’ve got a photograph of my birth parents together, on the beach in Port Agnes, that my birth mother gave me, and it’s definitely Joe. I’ll bring it tomorrow and tell you everything she told me then.’
‘Okay.’ Danni moved to turn away, but then she stopped, resting a hand on Hope’s arm. ‘Whatever happens, I don’t want you to feel bad about this. It was someone else’s decision to keep this from Joe for all this time, and any fallout there might be isn’t your fault.’
She smiled so kindly then, it was all Hope could do not to burst into tears.
Ever since she’d first overheard Esther’s desolation, the day that she had hidden in the toilet cubicle, the secret she was carrying had felt like an unexploded bomb.
She’d convinced herself that any devastation it caused, if it was ever revealed, would be down to her.
Danni didn’t make her feel that way and the tears she tried so hard to hold back were ones of relief.
That’s what helped her decide she was going to trust Joe’s sister to make the right decision after they’d spoken, whatever that might be.
Louie was brilliant too, after Danni had gone back to the party, her mind no doubt a maelstrom of emotions she’d been forced to hold on to.
For the time being, at least. He apologised for getting things so wrong and for pushing Hope to reveal the secret, not just to him, but inadvertently to Danni too.
She shook her head, reassuring him that it was for the best.
‘I’m glad,’ she said, taking hold of his hand.
‘Not that I would have chosen for it to come out like this, but it still feels like a burden has been lifted. It’s not just down to me to decide what’s the right thing to do any more.
Danni knows Esther and Joe better than anyone, and she can help me work out what’s best for everyone. ’
‘I can’t believe they won’t be glad you’re part of their lives, even if it’s a shock at first.’ Louie looked at her so earnestly then, and all she wanted to do was be folded into his arms. So she closed the gap between them.
‘Thank you and I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you before now.’
‘Danni’s right, you don’t owe anyone an apology, least of all me. Do you want to go?’
‘I do.’ Slipping her hand into his, they’d walked back up the garden, heading out of the gate, avoiding the need to say goodbye to anyone.
The air was still warm even as the light was beginning to take on the golden glow it would reach before it started to fade.
Neither of them had been in the mood for the cinema any more.
Instead, he’d walked her home and they’d eventually ordered a takeaway, talking into the early hours of the morning, in a way she’d never done with someone she’d been dating.
She’d only ever had those kinds of intense conversations with her sisters before, but Louie was special.
She knew that for sure now, but she also knew she wouldn’t be able to focus on a proper relationship until the situation with Joe and Esther was resolved.
She just hoped, as she walked along the coastal path toward the car park at Dagger’s Head the next morning, that she’d been right and that Danni would be the key to making that happen.
When Hope saw Danni in front of her, she almost turned on her heel and went back down the coastal path in the opposite direction.
She desperately needed to speak to her, but she didn’t know what to say.
Despite how much she’d liked this woman, who was technically her aunt, from the moment they’d first met, she suddenly felt incredibly awkward.
Once Hope was standing in front of Danni, she knew she was going to have to say something, but even then she dropped her gaze to the floor.
‘Thank you for agreeing to talk to me, before you speak to Esther or Joe.’
‘Of course, you were right that we needed to do this.’ Danni’s tone was gentle. ‘Are you okay?’
‘Not really.’ Hope forced herself to look up.
‘I never meant for things to come out like this. I didn’t mean for them to come out at all.
At least, I don’t think I did. I’ve been going backwards and forwards about it, ever since I overheard you and Esther talking in the toilets.
Before that I was planning to talk to Joe, just to let him know I existed.
Back then, I think even meeting him once would have been enough.
The trouble is, now that I know him, I’m not sure that’s true any more. ’
‘That’s a good thing.’ Danni smiled, but it didn’t lift the troubled look that was clouding her eyes. ‘When he finds out about you, once won’t be enough for him either, but the situation with Esther complicates everything.’
‘I know and she’s so lovely. I really don’t want to hurt her.’
‘Me neither, but I know Esther, and it would kill her if she discovered she was the reason Joe never got the chance to know his daughter.’ Danni took in a deep breath.
‘Before we talk about how to deal with all of this, I just need to know for certain that you’re sure Joe is your father. You said you had a picture?’
‘Yes, I’ve got it with me.’ Hope opened her bag and pulled out the strip of passport-style photographs Laura had given her when they met.
‘My biological mother gave me these. She and Joe took them in a photo booth in Port Tremellien. She was in Cornwall with her parents for a fortnight and she and Joe had a holiday romance. She said you guys were staying in Port Kara for the summer, but Joe had gone to the harbour in Port Agnes one day to go surfing and that’s when they met.
They spent all their time together after that, and he took her out on the bus to Port Tremellien on the last day she was here.
What neither of them could possibly have known, when they took those photos, was that she was already pregnant with me. ’
Danni took the strip of photographs from Hope, her hand visibly shaking and her breath audibly catching as she looked at it.
‘That’s definitely Joe, and I remember Laura now too.
I was fed up because I barely saw him during the time she was here.
We’d come down to stay with an old friend of my father’s, when we were back from boarding school, because Mum didn’t have any clue what to do with us.
Joe can’t have been more than about sixteen or seventeen. ’
‘That’s right and Laura was sixteen too.
I think I told you on the day we met, didn’t I, that she’d hidden her pregnancy from everyone else and that it only came to light when she gave birth to me in the toilets of the sixth-form common room?
’ Hope sighed as Danni nodded. ‘I seem to have made a habit of experiencing life-changing moments in toilet blocks.’
‘It’s definitely an unusual entrance into the world.’ Danni smiled again, but there was still a crease between her eyebrows. She needed to hear the whole story. ‘Did Laura ever think about letting Joe know?’
‘I think she just wanted the adoption to go through as soon as possible and she was worried that contacting Joe might complicate things.’ Hope ran a hand through her chestnut-brown hair, a colour not dissimilar to Joe’s, albeit a shade or two lighter.
‘Later on, when she had another baby and saw how much that bond meant to her husband, she did try to track Joe down, feeling guilty that she’d kept my existence from him.
Joseph Carter is a pretty common name, but he’d told her even back then that he wanted to be a psychiatrist. It was all she had to go on but it narrowed things down a lot.
She tracked him down to a hospital in Australia, but she found out on his social media that he was in a serious relationship.
She decided all it would do was cause him problems and she had no idea whether I’d ever want to see either of them anyway. ’
‘That makes sense.’ Danni put her hands on her lower back, arching her spine. ‘Would you mind if we walked for a bit? I find standing still for too long a strain on my back.’