Chapter 31
Chapter Thirty-One
Cadence
There were few things in the world that offered comfort like the smell of a fresh cup of coffee in the morning.
Sitting on the couch in my apartment, a warm steamy mug in my hand and a fuzzy blanket thrown across my lap, everything in my life felt okay.
I had all I needed, and I spent my time doing what I loved. My proficiency on the guitar was getting better and it allowed me to create melodies for the songs I wrote.
That song I’d sung in LA was old news now.
I still hoped that my talent as a songwriter would allow me to write for people in the future. After all, with the internet, anything was possible.
I just needed to keep practicing.
And Lord knew I had plenty of time for that these days. All I did was work and write music. There was definitely no dating, either.
When you had a totally psycho ex and a fling with a rockstar, there was nowhere to go from there.
Still over the last few months, I’d been able to put Damien behind me and move on.
At least, that’s what I told myself every morning.
Today is the day you won’t think about Damien at all.
And every morning I almost believed me.
Except every time I closed my eyes and felt the lyrics morph within me, I saw his beautiful blue eyes.
His smile.
His voice.
Sometimes, other thoughts would sneak in. How it felt when he pressed his mouth against mine. The way his lips nipped at my skin. Or how his body fit perfectly next to me. What it felt like to be full of him.
But I tried to keep those thoughts to a strict schedule. There was a time and place for that business. Mainly when I was alone, in the shower or in bed at night…
I hadn’t heard from him since I’d told him to leave Fayetteville, and I was just as guilty. But I had no reason to reach out to him.
Jade had told me about a single they’d just released, but I didn’t have the heart to listen to it right now. Hearing his voice in my memory versus actually hearing his voice serenade me were two totally different ball games.
But that didn’t mean I couldn’t support them. I’d purchased the single anyway.
Regardless of how things turned out with Damien, they were still an incredibly talented band, and I wanted them to succeed. They deserved it.
A light knock on the door echoed through the room.
I frowned. It was 9am on a Saturday morning, and neither Jade nor I were expecting anyone or anything to be delivered.
I set my coffee on the end table and walked to the door. I stood on my tiptoes to look out the peephole and sucked in a breath.
A striking head of red hair blocked most of my view, but I knew who it belonged to.
He was here? My heart beat tripled as my stomach sprinted up my esophagus and into my throat. Against my better judgment, and to my surprise, I yanked the door open without thinking. His gaze dropped to mine instantly, and that magnetic pull coursed through every inch of my body.
I wanted to throw myself into his arms. My skin crawled with anticipation as my blood pumped with desire. It took every ounce of strength, and then some, not to pull him in and press my lips to his.
So, I hugged myself instead, averting my gaze.
Say something, stupid.
But no words came out. I couldn’t say something without saying it all.
It was cheesy, stupid, and totally a dumb Hallmark movie plot, but I’d fallen for him.
Hard.
Even from the beginning, when he kept me at arm’s length, I’d wanted him. Then, as my friend, I cared for him. And soon after, I fell in love with him.
It was easy to do. Damien was charming, sexy, and there for me when I needed someone.
“Cay…”
I swallowed hard. My name on his lips, a curse. The sound so sweet it hurt, but I was stupid enough to want him to say it again.
“Can I come in?”
My mouth was apparently glued shut, so I moved away from the door and waited for him to follow. I made a beeline to my comfy place on the couch, ready to put my blanket in my lap and hold my coffee like armor against him.
He sat on the cushion next to me.
It was impossible not to notice his long leg was mere centimeters from me. Little lightning bolts jumped from his skin to mine, making it impossible to forget how close he was after being apart for so long.
“I’m sorry to burst in on you like this. I’m sure you’re just getting up.” He drummed his fingers on his legs.
Oh, God.
My body turned into an inferno when I realized I still wore my pajama shorts and an oversized tee. I’d thrown my hair up into a messy bun and had traces of yesterday’s makeup on my face.
My skincare routine was a work in progress. Don’t come for me, okay? However, I was in no shape to host Damien Walker—Rockstar, Adonis, Sex God, Keeper of My Heart.
Fuck me.
I cleared my throat and, through sheer determination, forced some words out. “It’s fine.”
Smoooooooth.
The corner of his mouth rose briefly before returning to his stoic expression. “Can we talk? Please. Just hear me out, and then you can return to hating my guts if that’s what you want. But I can’t walk away without you knowing everything.”
I chewed my lower lip. I’d been so against letting him explain what happened simply out of fear that he would fill my head with these ideas that there was still hope for us. But I didn’t want to be lied to or feel manipulated.
I’d needed a clean break.
But now, with the heat of the moment anger gone, I wasn’t so against it.
I lifted my chin. “Jade is still asleep. You have until she gets up.”
Damien nodded. “Okay.” He angled his body toward me and opened his mouth.
Then, shut it with a frown.
He did that twice before letting a nervous laugh out and running his hand through his hair.
“I had this elaborate speech planned out on my drive here. But when I arrived, it was 4am, so I drove to a McDonalds and waited until it was an acceptable time to come. But it seems my grand speech turned nocturnal because now that the sun is up, it’s gone. ”
“You got here at 4am?”
“Yeah, I didn’t actually plan this out. I had a ‘what the fuck am I doing’ moment and left the house. I wanted to get to you as soon as possible and stop wasting the time we should be spending together.”
And why was that the most adorable thing I’d ever heard?
“And you think after this, we will be together?”
“I hope.” He reached over and took my hand in his. It was such a simple gesture, but the feel of his warm hand in mine brought me so much comfort.
“I’ll be the judge of that.” I gave his hand a little squeeze.
He smiled, that twinkle in his eyes shining before he turned serious once again. “I stayed away for my niece and nephew.”
I recoiled. “What? Grant and Maylee?”
“Yeah. I did what I did for them.”
“I… I don’t understand.”
“After you left LA, I got a call from Violet. It was one of the hardest phone calls I’ve ever taken.
She explained her last wishes and how she wanted me to take care of Grant and Maylee.
She looked so sick, and it wasn’t looking good for her.
I was afraid I was going to lose her. We canceled the rest of the tour, and I went home. ”
I nodded. Jade and I never found out why they canceled the tour, but this made so much sense.
He’d told me his sister was sick, but I had no idea it was that bad.
A ball of dread formed in the pit of my stomach.
I didn’t like how this sounded, that was too simple a scenario for him to ghost me. “Why didn’t you just tell me that?”
“In those moments, my thoughts were all over the place. I hate to say that it just didn’t cross my mind, but it’s the truth. I had to make arrangements and rush home to Michigan. I knew once I got there, I’d face lawyers, doctors, and rambunctious kids.”
I set my coffee cup down and clasped his hand between both of mine. “That’s understandable. I can’t imagine what you were going through.”
“I never expected Elijah to show up, either.”
“Elijah?” His name tasted like ash on my tongue. The acid in my stomach churned. He should have no place in this conversation.
Damien nodded. “Came to my sister’s house demanding I never see you again. He told me that if I didn’t stay away from you, he would take my run-in with the law to the press and frame it as domestic abuse. And If I told you about it, he would make good on his promise.”
“But you did nothing wrong.”
“That’s what I explained to him. But he said it wouldn’t matter.
Once the story blew up in the media, no one would pay attention when it was proven false.
The damage to my reputation and the band would already be done.
Not only that, he found women who agreed to testify against me, claiming I sexually harassed them. For a pretty penny, I’m sure.”
I ground my teeth, kicking off the blanket in my lap, unable to wrap my head around Damien’s words. “Why? Why would he do all this?”
“Why would he want to keep me away from you? Well, that part is obvious.”
I shook my head. “No. Why damage your reputation? Even if he did that, I wouldn’t care. That wouldn’t have been enough to keep me away from you. Your reputation doesn’t affect me at all.”
Damien’s thumb began rubbing soothing circles on the top of my hand, which was crazy because I wasn’t the one blackmailed. “Because that could keep me from getting custody of Grant and Maylee if Violet died.”
I scrunched my brow, still not understanding.
“Grant and May’s dad is a worthless piece of shit who doesn’t deserve the air he breathes.
He suddenly showed up at my sister’s house asking for his parental rights back.
Probably thanks to some persuasion from Elijah.
If Violet had died, and I got custody, Thomas would have taken me to court.
Elijah knew I’d never do anything to jeopardize those kids’ future, and having a black mark on my record could cost me custody.
It would be a cold day in Hell when I gave those two to their father. ”
Bile rose in my throat and nausea rolled over me.