16. Kamryn
“Let’s go boys!” Sarah shouts from our spot on the lawn.
Liam and the guys have a baseball game against one of their division rivals. This game determines where they sit and if they’re on the right track to the College World Series. I look around the packed stadium full of garnet, white, and black; with few clusters of blue and gold throughout the crowd. The smell of popcorn and boiled peanuts fill my senses and the heat from the rare sign of sun in late April warms my skin.
I’m surrounded by some of my sorority sisters, classmates, and football players as we cheer on our team.
“You’re not superstitious?” Why I’ve never asked Liam this I have no clue. I’m straddling his backside as I massage his back and shoulders. He doesn’t need me to do this, but I love spoiling him.
A moan slips free as I dig into a tight spot. “Shit. Um, not really. At least I never thought I was.”
“Any pre-game rituals?”
“Does stretching count?”
I slide my thumbs down his back with enough pressure that he squirms. “Baby. But no, stretching doesn’t count. I would hope you did that before and after every game.” I pay a little extra attention to his pitching arm before placing a kiss on his shoulder and sliding off next to him. “Are you nervous for this game?”
Liam, still laying on his stomach, turns his face to me. “Not as nervous as I should be. Granted this is the game that determines our division spot. It’ll help with you watching.”
“You’re such a mush.” Pushing his hair back from his eyes, I lean forward and press a kiss to the corner of his mouth.
“Are you happy, Kam?” Liam asks. It’s not unusual for him to ask me this.
“The happiest.” Is as honest a response as I can give him.
A squeal pops free as Liam pulls my body to his. I lose my breath as he tackles my body with tickles. Only when I’m sputtering and begging for mercy does he stop. And what he does after, makes me forget that we were talking about his nerves and what this game means.
My gaze tracks Liam’s every movement as he walks to the back of the pitchers circle. He’s up in the count with only a runner on second and two outs. The score is up in our favor, so this should be the final inning.
I’ve asked Liam if he can hear certain people in the crowd. He claims he shuts out everything. Which is why he’s been so successful at this game. I do wish the scouts took notice of him though. He’s been beating himself up that not one has reached out. As his girlfriend, I do what I can to alleviate his worry.
“Here we go Liam. You got this babe!” I watch his deep inhale and the pull back of his shoulders before he steps up to the rubber. He told me that would be his sign that he heard me. In a sold out crowd, knowing that he heard my voice brings warmth to my body.
Liam gets the sign from Chance, places his fingers on the ball that’s hidden in his glove, and does his wind-up sending the ball towards home plate. I hold my breath, along with the rest of the crowd, as I wait for the ball to reach Chance’s glove. The smack of the ball to his catcher’s glove and the resounding “Strike three” from the umpire has the crowd going wild.
Cheering along with my friends and the crowd, I watch from the outfield as the team rushes Liam. This game was huge for them. While Liam said he wasn’t nervous, I noticed him triple check his bag before he left for the field. Which he’s never done since I knew him.
Our school fight song plays from the speakers as we watch our boys celebrate on the field. They make their way to the outfield where the majority of the student body is congregated to bask in the cheers. Liam and I magnetize our way to each other, stopping at the outfield fence.
“I’m so proud of you,” No other words could explain how I feel for him and the team.
He links our fingers together through the fence. “Thank you baby. Are you going to wait around or head back to the house?”
My eyebrows scrunch in confusion. “You’re not going out to celebrate?”
“I’d rather celebrate with you.”
“Deal.” I lean up on my tiptoes to give him a kiss through the fence.
Liam gives me another look before walking back over to his team. Seeing his happiness for this game makes my happiness his. Laughing to myself as he jumps on the guys I make my way back to Sarah and our group.
“You two are staying in to celebrate, aren’t you?” Sarah surmises as I link my arm through hers.
I give her a ‘duh’ look. As much as I love being out with friends, I love staying in with Liam even more.
“Can you guys believe that we’re graduating today?” Sarah asks our group before we have to line up.
“I didn’t think I’d graduate,” I say in all honesty. I won’t dwell on that time during college. We know how bad it was for me.
Liam wraps his arm around my shoulder and kisses my temple. “But you are. And I am too. And so is Chance.”
“You’re right. Thank you, baby,” I say and lean up to place a kiss on his lips.
“Alright graduates, time to line up.” One of the professors says.
“I’ll see you after,” Liam says and kisses me quickly.
“Of course.”
Walking towards the art and fashion department has me feeling all out of sorts. I still didn’t think I’d graduate on time. Let alone not as a psychology major. I didn’t think Liam and I would be friends again, let alone dating. But it’s been so easy with him. These last nine months have been more than I could’ve ever imagined. He was my best friend before all of it. And now we get to go live our lives together for the time being.
“I’m so happy I met you here.” Nina says when we get set up in the processional. She was one of the first fashion majors to befriend me. I was worried that jumping into a group so soon, I’d be ostracized. She was even one of my champions for when I skipped the intro level classes.
“So am I. Let’s stay in touch okay? We could definitely help each other out.”
“Of course.” She says and hugs me.
While the last couple of years may have been the most challenging, it has been memorable beyond words.
“Nina Jade Ratner.” The speaker calls. I clap for my friend as she gets her “diploma”
“Kamryn Michelle Rawlins.” The speaker calls for me. “Thank you.” I say as I grab my “diploma” and shake hands with the president of the school. I look up in the stands to see mine and Liam’s families cheering for me.
Later after the ceremony I head off in search of our family’s since they sat together. While I’m en route to my family, I have several professors stop me to tell me about internships. I promised I’d email them all. With this praise from professor’s I now consider friends, I’m confident that I made the right choice with my newer major.
When I make my way through the throng of other families celebrating their graduates, I see my boisterous group. “Congratulations!!” I’m bombarded with hugs and handed flowers and leis and more hugs and enough kisses on my cheek to last a lifetime.
“A picture of you and Liam!” My mom tosses out.
“Where is Liam?” I ask looking around. I didn’t think he was too far behind me, but he’s garnered a following from being the starting pitcher.
“I’m sure he’ll be around soon. Let’s just take one of you, Kamryn.”
I won’t say no to that. I hold up my diploma frame and my flowers.
“Taking pictures without me huh?” Liam says in my ear.
“Of course not. You’re just on time.” I say and turn around to look up at him. “I’m so happy we’re here Liam. Even after everything. We started here and now we’re ending here. Together.”
It’s been a wild four years. So many ups and downs. But one thing I am eternally grateful for is finishing college with my best friend.
“I love you,” Liam tells me. Since I opened the floodgates in December, he says those three words every chance he can.
“I love you too,” I smile up at him and lean up on my toes to press a kiss to his mouth. I intend for it to be a quick kiss, but Liam grabs the back of my head to intensify it. Slipping his tongue inside eliciting a moan from me.
“Okay! Okay! Enough of that!” Jax says, breaking us out of our kiss.
The rest of the afternoon passes by without a hitch. We took as many pictures as we could with our families and friends. When the space began clearing out, we went to the obligatory graduation celebration dinner. Our parents began the embarrassing tale of when they first noticed the crushes we had on each other. The walk down memory lane is great, but it has me itching for the future.
Settling into Liam’s side and playing with his hand that’s linked in mine, I look around at our families. How meshing them together was seamless and effortless. Liam’s chest rumbles under my cheek and a smile pulls at my lips. I didn’t know how much Id come to love the sound of his laugh. He’s my breath of fresh air and what I never knew I needed. I can’t wait for the rest of our life together.
“Are you ready to head back up north?” I ask him as we put the last box in the back of his truck.
“Yeah. Are you ready to live together?” Liam challenges back.
“Of course. I’ve put up with you since we were seven. What’s the rest of my life?”
Liam chuckles before pulling me towards him. We managed to find an apartment not too far out of the city. It’s a nice two-bedroom with a workout facility and pool, gate access and assigned parking. Our parents decided to help us out for the first year with rent as we both get on our feet. We were both more than willing to move back home but they insisted it was time for us to start this journey as soon as possible.
“Very funny. I’ll see you in about ten hours, Ms. Rawlins.”
“That you will, Mr. Taylor.” I kiss him hard before pushing away and jumping into my car.
Since we left campus later than usual, we got a late start on making the drive back home. So Liam and I made it to our parents houses just before midnight. With all of the driving, we decided it best to wait to move-in once it’s light out and we’re well-rested.
“Hi Jersey.” I greet when our black lab greets me at the door. “Don’t wake people up.” I let him out back to the bathroom while I fill up a glass of water.
The doubt creeps in making me wonder if I’m doing the right thing with Liam. We’ve only been together not even a year. Even during our last year we stayed with each other as much as possible. Between baseball and my senior project, it was tough. Liam led his team to another CWS win. So we didn’t get to enjoy the whole summer, but what’s left of it I’m hoping we’ll treasure together.
I’m pulled out of my thoughts by Jersey scratching at the back door. Tomorrow starts the madness. “Goodnight boy.” I say as I pet him and go to my room.
My alarm goes off too soon. I stare up at the ceiling in my childhood bedroom. The feeling hasn’t sunk in yet that I’m moving out. It’s scary. But something that was always in the back of my mind.
My phone chimes with a text from Liam.
Liam: Rise and shine sleepyhead.
Me: I’m awake silly. About to get up and get ready. I’ll see you at the apartment?
Liam: See you soon.
I’m making the right decision. I know I am. But I can’t stop the nagging feeling in the back of my mind that’s telling me something isn’t right.
I go through the motions at what feels like 2x speed. And before I know it, we’re unloading the final box into the living room. The overwhelming sensation hits hard. But knowing we have a couple of months to settle in before our new jobs takes some of the pressure off.
Liam and I work like a well-oiled machine. Working efficiently in setting up our bedroom as that’s the best way to move-in, or so our parents have told us. We moved on to the living room. Working to mount the TV on the wall. A wall mount for a TV is the number one tester for any relationship. Mark my words.
Ten hours later and our apartment is livable. A little sweaty but not stinky. A lot cranky and a lot hungry. We’re not 100% unpacked, but the big things have been done.
After our parents left and a pizza was delivered, it’s just Liam and I snuggled on the couch after our showers.
“Are you happy baby?” I ask him.
“The happiest,” he responds with a hard kiss to my lips. His kiss softens as I sink into him. The kiss isn’t rushed. The kiss isn’t a means to an end. The kiss is the start of our new beginning.
Liam slides my leg over his lap and pulls me over to straddle him. Our breathing grows heavier as our kisses become more frantic. I slide my hands under his shirt and pull it up his body and fling it behind me. He moans into my mouth as my hands explore his body.
I’ll never tire of exploring him. Liam is always working out and always practicing. Keeping his body in tip top shape for baseball makes me a very happy girl.
I break the kiss and trail my lips down his body. Nipping at his jaw. Sucking on his neck. Playing with his nipples because it drives him crazy. As I slide down his body, I pull his pajama bottoms down with me as I go. Freeing his erection that now bobs against his stomach. I wrap my hand around him and lower my mouth to his tip. Kissing the head of his cock like I was kissing him.
Swirling my tongue around the tip and flicking at his opening.
“Fuck you’re too good at that.” Liam groans.
A few months later, Liam and I are finally settled into our apartment. It took us most of the summer and partway into fall, but we finally did it.
I managed to get a job at one of the local middle schools teaching. It wasn’t ideal, but I’m also grateful that the community college had an opening for a fashion design teacher. So I do that part-time along with the full-time teaching job.
Liam hasn’t had it so easy though. He’s still waiting for a call-up to the major’s but that chance dwindles daily. He continues to work out and hit the batting cages daily. But as each day goes by, he starts to slip further away from me. It’s like his happiness is tied to baseball. I get it, but baseball can only last for so long.
With the lack of a call, his appearances at work have been abysmal at best. More times than I can count, his boss has called me letting me know that he’s not shown up for work on time. I get that call sometimes twice a week. Every time I come home, I dread what I might see inside. Like right now.
“Liam?” I call out when I walk through the door. No answer. “Hello?” I know he’s home. His truck was in the same parking spot it was in yesterday.
“Hey,” He finally replies from his spot on the couch. Headset on for his video game that he plays all of the time. Our apartment isn’t exactly big, so I know he heard me the first time.
“Hey. How was your day?” Setting my bag and the mail on the TV, I turn to him in hopes that I have his full attention. The hope I had fizzles out as I see his attention still on the TV.
“It was okay.”
“That’s good.”
We’ve been doing this routine for the past two weeks. I ask about his day and then all of it stops. After I change into something comfortable I come back out to see him in that same spot. With the same focus on the game instead of me.
“Have you given any thought to what I suggested?” I tread lightly because as the days have gone by, Liam has gotten more and more withdrawn. Not just from me and our relationship, but all of his motivation has seemed to have left him.
“No.”
“Liam, it’s better than nothing.”
“It’s a pity thought.” He bites out.
Huffing out an unamused laugh. “No it isn’t. I’d rather you do that, than me come home and see you in that exact spot. I don’t want to be in the eye of the storm if you don’t get the call that you’re hoping for. But maybe if you’d get off your butt and help someone other than yourself, you might get the call that you want.”
He’s looking at me like I lost my mind, “Says the woman that’s teaching instead of designing.”
“You think this is what I want to do for the rest of my life too? No. But I have to do something before getting to the big stuff. You don’t get that. Nobody hits it out of the park on their first at bat.”
“I do. I was destined for the majors.”
“You promised!” I yell. “You promised that we wouldn’t push the other away if our dreams didn’t come true.”
“I was destined for the majors,” He repeats, “And sometimes promises are meant to be broken.”
That’s a slap to the face. He’s not worth the tears that are threatening to break free. “Then do something about it! Do something to get noticed by the scouts. Because I can promise you that wallowing around here is not the way to do that. I will not dim my light just so you can shine. I won’t do it Liam.”
It’s been six months since I had that fight with Liam. He got a call to join a farm team, but he turned that down. Sarah and I told him it was the stupidest decision that he ever made. It led to the biggest fight that we ever had. And for a month straight he moped around the apartment. He called out of work and didn’t help out around the apartment. I remember what I told him because it’s still so fresh in my mind. The boy I loved is slipping away from me, and I have no idea how to keep him here.
I came home from work more frazzled than ever. That day the students were more intolerable than before. I had endless meetings and all I wanted and the last thing I wanted to do was come home.
“Liam…I cannot live like this.” Pushing away my still full dinner plate, frustration and exhaustion coats every word. I’m so tired. I’m mad. I feel like I’ve failed in my personal life and the one person I thought would be present to assure me I haven’t failed, is focusing on his own failure.
He barely spares me a glance before going back to his phone. “Like what?”
“Like this…” I point around the apartment and then point a finger at him. “I swear if you don’t get your life together in one week, I’m out. I’m done. Because I refuse to support you like this.”
I stormed out of the apartment after that. It appeared to work. He called the sister high school for the middle school I worked for and started as a TA. He wasn’t exactly thrilled, but when the baseball coach approached him for help he didn’t turn it down. I guess you could say things are getting better for him. For me. For us.