18. Liam
Ifeel like I’m losing everything.
Once again, the girl I love is slipping right through my fingers. And I have no one to blame but myself.
Of course Kamryn is upset. I promised her everything that night. But how can I hold onto that promise when I can’t even keep myself afloat?
In the three days since Kamryn walked away, I’ve felt like the world was at a standstill. I also felt forgettable. My dream of playing professional baseball is getting further and further out of my reach. Sarah says she’s made calls everywhere. They all say that I should start with a Farm Team. I know how grateful I am to get those suggestions. But none of them could guarantee me a spot in the big leagues.
My dreams are out of reach. And I have no one to blame but myself.
My life is falling apart. Instead of reaching out to the girl I love more than anything I’m letting it all slip away. I can’t make her happy if my dreams can’t come true. But letting her go seems impossible to do.
I’m losing everything. And I have no one to blame but myself.
I pull the shoebox down from the shelf in the back of my closet. Walking back to my bed I open it up. My life with Kamryn is in this box: our past, present, and future resides in this box. I pull out the ring box that’s been stashed in this box. I bought the ring over a year ago. We made strides but it was never the right time. I wasn’t where I needed to be in my life and that pushed her away. Now I don’t know if we’ll ever have a ‘right time’.
No matter how much work I put into myself, I don’t think it will matter.
I lost everything. And I have no one to blame but myself.