Chapter 9
Chapter Nine
Mia
“ Y ou know, I’ll never be able to thank Angus enough for letting you two stay here. Not only is it a beautiful home, but I’ll sleep better at night knowing you’re on the McKinnon ranch,” my mom gushes for the umpteenth time, while she helps me handwash my cookware, and Dad plays with Sawyer in the family room.
Angus has gone from war hero to walking on water status in my mother’s eyes. She’s right about the house, though. It’s not a simple one-bedroom cottage he’s giving up for us. It’s a beautiful custom-made home, big enough for a family of four or even five if you turn the office into a bedroom. The high ceilings with exposed beams are straight out of an architecture magazine and the kitchen is a dream. It’s huge, but somehow when Angus and I were in here together this morning, there wasn’t room for the both of us. We kept bumping into one another. Even just a slight graze from him as he passed by sent shivers all over my body.
It was way too close for comfort.
When I saw the tree, and then Sawyer’s room, I was beside myself with emotion. He really is kind. He’s a great friend.
“It’s only temporary, but I agree. He’s gone above and beyond. I still can’t believe he offered us his home.”
When she doesn’t continue raving about St. Angus, I turn to find her standing at the sink, where she had been handwashing a mixing bowl, letting the water run as she stares out the window.
“Mom? Are you okay?”
When again, she says nothing, I follow her gaze out the window, but there’s nothing there. Reaching in front of her, I turn the water off and put my hand on top of hers. “Mom, what is it?”
As if snapping out of a spell, she squeezes my hand, planting a fake smile on her face. “Sorry about that. There is just so much going on my mind wanders off from time to time.” The small shake she gives her head doesn’t hide the glossiness in her eyes.
“Are you sure everything's okay?”
“Of course.” She pats my hand and turns the water back on.
I’m not convinced, but I don’t push. They do have a lot going on with the holidays and their big move. They’ve lived here their entire lives. Everyone they know and love is here. They’re packing up a lifetime of memories and shipping it across the country to live somewhere new where they don’t know anyone. But it’s their dream. A dream they kept close to the vest, because I never knew Florida was where they had one day hoped to land. None of it makes sense to me, but it’s not my life.
Wrapping an arm around her shoulders, I pull her against me, leaning my head on her shoulder. “I’m gonna miss you, but I am so happy your dream is coming true. You and Dad deserve a life in the sun.”
“Oh, Mia,” she sobs, turning to embrace me. “I love you so much.”
“Mom, I love you too.” I pull her tighter to me. “Hey, we’re gonna be okay. You said it yourself. We’re safe and sound here, and we have the entire McKinnon clan to look after us. And we’ll visit whenever we get the chance.”
“I know. I just love you both so much.” She pulls back, looking me in the eye. “Please tell me you don’t hate us. That you don’t think we’re abandoning you.”
Well, you are. But I’m a grown woman who put myself in the position I’m in and my parents deserve to live their life. I get it, but it still sucks.
“Of course not. Why shouldn’t you follow your dream because your adult daughter got knocked up? I can take care of myself. We’re gonna be fine. I promise.”
Stepping out of my arms, she dries her cheeks with a paper towel and takes several deep breaths. “You’re a wonderful mama to that grandson of ours. I hope you know that. You’ve sacrificed so much for him and one day he’ll be just as proud of you as we are.”
Willing my tears not to fall, I tip my head to the ceiling and blink rapidly, but one rogue tear falls when I look back at the best mom in the world. “Thanks, Mom.”
Devastated. That’s how I felt the night they told me they were selling the house and moving to Florida. The first thing that came to mind was, what about Sawyer? What about all the milestones they're going to miss? They won’t be a part of his day-to-day life, and that absolutely breaks my heart. For me. For him. For all of us.
Then the anger set in.
Yes, it was selfish. And childish. But they had blindsided me. No warning, no time for us to find another place to live. Essentially, they were evicting me with less than the standard thirty days' notice a stranger would get. My own parents!
And what about Chris?
How could they leave our memories of my brother behind? They weren’t just selling a piece of land with a boat dock and a five-bedroom home. They were selling our childhood. The place that held all our family traditions. Our secrets, big and small. It’s where we celebrated birthdays and graduations. Fourth of July parties and slumber parties outside in tents. It’s where me, Chris and the McKinnons would meet before ?prom so we could get pictures with the view of the lake behind us. It was the last place I saw my brother and where my son took his first steps.
Except for losing Chris and Aiden, Daisy’s dad, this was going to be the biggest loss of my life.
My rage blinded me for several days. I called in sick to work and if it wasn’t for Sawyer, I wouldn’t have gotten out of bed. It was Daisy who talked sense into me. Reminding me that Chris would always be with me and that nobody could take my memories away from me. Honestly, I would be lost without her.
Once I was over the anger, I was sad again. Only this time, fear accompanied the heartbreak. Fear of how I was going to take care of my child and where we were going to live. Goose Hollow is a small place. There aren’t any apartment complexes or many rental houses and the neighboring resort towns were out of my budget.
Everything in my world flipped upside down with one conversation at my parents' kitchen table.
I was drowning.
Then a kind man offered us his home.
Mom looks at her watch. “Well, shoot. We need to be at Sharon’s in an hour. Time to skedaddle. You gonna be okay if we head out?”
“Sorry Joy, not sure that’s possible,” Dad yells from the family room. “I’ve got a dinosaur attached to my back!”
Sawyer roars then yells, “Pop-Pop!”
He roars again just as he comes into view and Mom and I burst into a fit of laughter, which throws Sawyer into hysterics. Dad is on his hands and knees, scurrying around the ottoman, yelling for help from the big scary dinosaur. Sawyer’s cheeks are bright pink from laughing so hard. No sound comes out as his eyes dance with delight. He has the hood of Dad’s sweatshirt in his hands and is riding him like a horse. My eyes are still damp from our moment in the kitchen, but my baby boy with his grandpa brings on an entirely new set of tears, only this time I don’t even bother trying to hold them in.
“Thank goodness your father had that knee surgery.” Mom pulls her phone out of her back pocket to take a video. Like me, she hasn’t taken her eyes off them, so she hasn’t noticed my tears.
Adding to the scene, Mom takes on an Australian accent as she narrates what she’s seeing. We’re all laughing at Sawyer acting up for the camera. He loves being recorded and watching himself back later. You could say Sawyer is his own number one fan.
Exhausted, Dad finally collapses face-first onto the area rug.
Sawyer crawls off him, then puts his little face next to Dad’s. “Pop-pop?” He gently pats Dad's cheek with his hand. “Pop-pop?”
“Rawrrrrrr!” Dad roars, coming back to life, surprising him as he rolls to his back. Dad scoops Sawyer up, holding him over his head, eliciting giggles. It’s the sweetest sound I’ve ever heard.
Dad settles Sawyer on his back, lifts his shirt, and blows raspberries onto his tummy.
More giggles only mean more tears for me.
You can’t replace these priceless memories with a video-call. All four of us are going to miss out on so much. Visits a few times a year won’t continue the bond Sawyer already has with them.
“Oh, honey. No,” Mom says, noticing me. She puts her phone away and places a hand on each of my cheeks. “No tears. It’s gonna be okay. We’ve still got Christmas, New Year’s, and the wedding. Let’s enjoy every second and save our sadness for the first.”
Dad joins us, with Sawyer in his arms. “Hey, now. What’s going on over here?”
“I’m just missing you already, but I’m fine.”
The somber look on his face surprises me. Stepping closer, he rests his free hand on my shoulder. The three of us put our heads together, Sawyer still roaring under his breath. It’s adorable, but I don’t have any laughter left to muster. Dad, looking as heartbroken as I feel, has turned our silly moment into a much deeper one.
“I’m so sorry, Mia.”
“Don’t be sorry, Dad. I want you to be happy. We’re gonna be fine.”
Pulling me into a one-armed hug, he chokes on his words. “You’ll always have a room waiting for you. Both of you. If you need anything at all...” His voice trails off and when I pull back to look at him, I’m met with a pair of watery blue eyes that match my own.
“Oh, Dad.” We embrace again.
Mom takes Sawyer, leaving Dad to wrap me up in one of his famous bear hugs. We stay connected, both shedding tears, but neither of us saying a word. I’ve never seen my dad like this. The only time I recall him crying was the day we found out Chris wasn’t coming home. Then, it was still just the one time. Even at the memorial, he remained stoic, acting as the rock Mom so desperately needed.
“Okay, okay,” Mom says gently. “We still have a lot of memories to make in the next week. Starting with Christmas Eve with the McKinnons. C’mon Earl, let’s hit the road or we’ll be late.”
With that, he releases me and leaves without another word.
“Is he okay?” I ask Mom.
“He will be, honey. He will be.”