Chapter 46 #2
This all just feels wrong. My family has never understood me, but maybe family isn’t about the people you share blood with. Maybe the family you choose is the one that matters. And my family is all here wearing Bobcats green and black.
I pack up my laptop and the things I’ll need right away in Denver. Most of the guys on the team stop by to wish me luck before their meetings with the coaches. Connor, Jefferson, and Mack are the last three to come by and they walk in together.
Jefferson lifts me up and spins me around. “I wish you didn’t have to go but I’m so fucking excited for you. We can still do meditation together over Zoom right?”
His positive energy is usually contagious, but even Jefferson’s optimism does little to help the sadness that’s overcome me. “Of course we can.”
Connor hasn’t said much, just hanging behind Mack and Jefferson. Mack takes a step forward and presents me with a small bag. “It’s not much but we wanted to get you a good luck gift to send you off with.”
I open the bag and find a chakra pyramid crystal. The fact that these guys even thought to get me a gift like this has me crying for the first time since I got here. I tried like hell to keep my emotions at bay but this is too much for me.
“This is amazing. Thank you guys so much.”
Mack and Jefferson leave my office, but Connor lingers near the doorway.
“Do you need something, Connor?”
He scratches his neck before turning back around to face me.
“I don’t usually say much, as you know.”
I laugh. “Yeah, that’s kinda your thing.”
Connor chuckles quietly. “Right. I wasn’t going to do this, but I don’t fucking care if he gets mad at me.”
“Do what? Who’s he?” I ask, confused.
“Niko is an idiot. He’s my best friend, but he can be an absolute fucking moron sometimes. He’d never ask you to stay because that’s the type of guy he is…but he wants you to. I know he does because he told me, Sadie. You have to know he wants you to stay.”
I suck in a sharp breath. He told Connor that? As much as I want to believe Connor, and maybe I do, it doesn’t matter. Niko didn’t tell me. Not once. He told me to go.
“Even if that’s true, Connor, he told me to go. And I want to go.” The lie is like acid on my tongue.
Connor shakes his head and, without a word, turns and leaves my office.
I need to get the fuck out of here. I can’t handle any more goodbyes. Especially if they’re going to go anything like that one just did.
Turning the light off, I close the door to my office one last time.
Ellie is waiting for me in the lobby when I get off the elevator. She’s flying out to Denver tomorrow to be with me at the grand opening and help me find an apartment. She must’ve asked me a hundred times if this is what I really want to do, and each time I lied and told her “yes.”
She pulls me into a hug and that’s when the dam breaks. The tighter she holds me, the more tears fall. We stand that way together, for what feels like an eternity. She doesn’t let go until I finally stop crying and pull away first.
Ellie keeps her hands on my shoulders. “You’re going to be amazing. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Tell Lincoln thank you for letting Hunter slip away for a bit today.”
She gives me one last hug, and then I turn to leave. I open the doors to walk outside where Hunter is already waiting in his car for me. It’s raining cats and dogs, and I cuss under my breath. “It wasn’t supposed to rain today.”
How on brand for this day. What should be a bright, shiny day, the start of something new and exciting, has turned into a dark, gloomy one, as if the sky is crying with me.
I sprint like hell with my suitcase to the car. I’m dripping wet from the twenty-yard run and thunder booms as soon as I’m safe inside the car. I grab a few tissues from my bag and dab my face and skin dry.
“You good?” Hunter’s voice is soft but laced in concern.
I nod and give him a fake smile. “Yep.”
Hunter puts the car in drive, and once I’m settled, I sit back and find the small box Niko gave me earlier at my apartment. It’s been burning a hole inside my bag since I put it there and I’m dying to see what it is.
The box is wrapped with shimmery purple paper and I carefully unwrap it. Inside is a white cardboard box. I lift the top to reveal a folded note, a black velvet box sitting underneath. My heart stutters and my hands shake as I lift both things from the box.
Closing my eyes tight, I take a few deep breaths to steady the pounding inside my chest. I unfold the paper and read the note first.
Kulta,
The color purple will forever make me think of you. I read somewhere that amethyst can bring you peace, tranquility, and even protection. If I can’t be there with you to offer you those things, these will have to do. I’m so proud of you.
Niko
My body shakes with sobs before I even know what’s happening. Hunter keeps looking over at me and asking if I’m okay, but I can’t even manage to get any words out between my sobs.
I reread Niko’s note. It’s taken me thirty years to find someone who not only accepts me for exactly who I am, but understands every piece of me. Will I ever find that again?
Hunter’s car merges onto the highway and a sign on the side of the road says nine miles until we’re at the airport.
Rain pounds on the car in sync with my pounding heart. I can’t think, I can’t breathe. I close my eyes and all I see is Niko.
What the fuck am I doing?