Chapter Four #2
“Me, too,” Pel admitted. “It’s definitely terrible timing, but, uh, when everything was going wrong in the throne room, there was part of me that was thinking that if I’d just said yes when you asked, then there was no way that anybody could keep us apart.
” He made a bit of a face. “I hadn’t thought about being actually thrown in the dungeons. Or the rest of it.”
Tor felt a bit lightheaded, not quite able to express his relief that his selfish original intentions hadn’t ruined everything.
“Honestly,” Tor admitted, a bit giddy, “it’s actually the one thing that made me glad you were angry and stormed off.
It meant Varex assumed you were a pawn rather than a participant, and I didn’t have to worry that you were going to wind up in the dungeon with me, about to be executed for treason.
” He grimaced and admitted haltingly, “I can probably convince him to try to break—”
Pel interrupted before Tor could even finish the sentence, expression stern.
“Absolutely not! Nobody is going to be executed for treason—except maybe the people who actually committed it. We’re going to go back to Alossa, and we’re going to get to the bottom of this.
The High King is going to realize that you didn’t do anything wrong—and hey, he might feel so guilty that he won’t mind so much about the bond. ”
Tor could only laugh, delighted by the hopeful suggestion.
“Yes,” he agreed immediately, “let’s go with that.”
Tor would take any advantage he could get at this point.
He’d acknowledged he needed to do better with his brother, that he needed to stop letting himself be drawn into arguments.
But if it took some guilt to move things along?
Tor would lay it on thick in a heartbeat, especially now that Pel’s fate was entwined with his own.
Pel leaned in, and Tor met his lips eagerly, sinking into the warm touch. Pel didn’t let it go on for too long, which was probably just as well, because Tor was already breathing heavily and feeling a bit dizzy, which was just embarrassing.
“I missed you,” Pel whispered, a soft admission against his lips. “I was so worried.”
“I apologize for worrying you.” Tor wondered if there was a point at which he wouldn’t feel the need to apologize anymore, or if this would remain a giant blot that he’d feel guilty about forever.
He’d accept that, if it meant he got to keep Pel.
That was complicated now, too. “If I’d realized that I was putting your life in danger, I would have tried to come up with another plan, but I didn’t know what else to do. ”
Pel shook his head, his expression soft. “No, you had to save Cala. I understand that. I would have done the same thing. I tried to send guards, but I guess they didn’t get there in time.”
Tor remembered the commotion in the hall right before he brought the ceiling down. Was that the guards or reinforcements for the mercenaries? He hadn’t been sure, and honestly, he’d have done the same thing again if it meant ensuring Cala’s safety.
But it did raise other questions. “How did you get back into the castle?”
Tor listened with astonishment and not a little alarm to how Pel had followed the mercenaries.
He swallowed. “That’s somewhat terrifying.”
Pel scoffed. “Excuse me, mister throws himself out of windows after bringing the ceiling of the entire room crashing down while he has no magic!”
Tor couldn’t help but laugh. “It’s way scarier when you’re doing it.”
“Right back at you,” Pel argued. “Let’s… try to take care of ourselves and one another, all right?”
“Yes,” Tor agreed. “I like us working together. I clearly couldn’t have got through this without you. What happened after you caught me at the window?”
Pel explained about sneaking Tor out through the secret entrance and carrying him until Cavun found them. Tor had thought he’d gotten better about not underestimating Pel, but clearly, he still had some work to do.
“You’re amazing,” Tor told him.
Pel’s ears went red, but his lips tipped up into a shy smile as he continued his explanation about the hurried journey back up the Great River into Tond, and finally the horse ride and taking shelter in this cave to try to regroup, only to be found by Tama and then Bavil.
“It’s kind of unbelievable,” Tor admitted.
“Tell me about it,” Pel agreed. “I think we’re really lucky that both Bavil and I remembered this cave. But I was conscious through all of it, and it still doesn’t seem quite real.”
“Speaking of,” Tor said, “I still don’t really understand why I’m here.
I’m so grateful!” he hastened to add. “But even if I landed on you when I fell out the window, how did I survive? I saw the color of my magic. I felt…” He hesitated for a moment.
“I don’t know exactly how to describe it, but I’m pretty sure it’s what it feels like when you use all your core magic. ”
A viscerally wrong tearing sensation deep inside, like something fundamental was being wrenched away. Worse even than the feeling of repulsion he’d felt towards Terila’s magic, or the moment when Varex had bound his magic, and it had felt like part of himself was suddenly gone.
Pel was silent for a moment, and then he said, “I asked the same thing. Tama said it was the bond.”
Shock echoed through Tor as he learned how he’d apparently unconsciously protected the connection he had with Pel, and the connection had in turn sustained him when he’d had virtually no magic of his own.
“Uh, wow,” Tor said inanely, and Pel laughed a little, looking relieved. “Thanks for taking care of me.”
Pel smiled a little. “You’re welcome.”
Tor simply wouldn’t think about the fact that he could have drained Pel without even knowing that was possible. He shivered.
It seemed like Pel knew where his mind had gone, because he nudged Tor. “We’re going to take care of one another, right?”
“Right,” Tor agreed. Then he admitted, “I feel like that’s extra hard to do right now.”
Pel’s expression was rueful. “Agreed. But we need to try anyway. There’s a lot going on, and I’m not about to ask you to not protect your family—just like you’re not going to ask me to sit this out.”
Tor huffed a laugh at Pel’s stern expression and the fact that Tor did want to ask that of him. Pel no doubt wanted to ask Tor to do the same, and neither of them would be themselves if they didn’t do everything they could to protect the people they cared about.
“Thank you so much for being amazing,” Tor told him instead.
“I’m so glad to be here with you now, and I’m delighted that your magic was able to sustain me when I couldn’t sustain myself.
I know that’s been a bit of a sore spot for you.
I think I said once that I didn’t need your magic.
I stand corrected. I need all of you all the time. ”
Pel’s cheeks tinged pink, but he was smiling as he tugged Tor closer. Their kiss was soft and sweet and everything Tor wanted. If only they didn’t need to go save Tor’s family and figure out how to stop a coup.
He made a face as he reluctantly pulled back from Pel.
“How are we going to convince Varex that his wife is up to no good?”
Tor might never have liked her, but time had proved how devoted his brother was.
Pel said firmly, “We’re going to have to let him come to his own conclusions. We can only point out what we’ve learned or guessed.”
Tor kind of wanted to ram the truth down his brother’s throat… but Pel’s approach was probably more sensible. After all, didn’t Tor keep getting annoyed because Varex was trying to make his decisions for him?
Tor sighed. “You’re right. We’ll have to present the facts. It has to be someone highly placed who’s behind it or involved, right?”
Pel nodded, but Tor realized even as he said it that this didn’t entirely help.
Tor qualified, after all. He hoped that his recent actions proved the truth of his allegiance, but he couldn’t count on that.
Tor knew for absolutely certain that he wasn’t involved, but Varex wouldn’t, not after everything that had happened.
Grimacing, Tor said, “I’m worried that we’re running out of time. Attacking the castle was so brazen.”
Pel brushed a hand down the side of his face. “But it didn’t work.”
“True.”
It had almost worked, though. Tor was getting through the days only by assuming that Pamuna had gotten Cala to Varex just like Tor had instructed.
No other outcome was acceptable. But had other people been injured?
Had they caught anyone involved? Tor assumed that mercenaries had been chosen for a reason and wouldn’t be able to point back to the organizer.
“I’m sorry I left you in the dungeon,” Pel blurted out suddenly.
Tor laughed. He was pretty sure they could keep apologizing to one another for ages. He was well aware who was more guilty here.
“Don’t be. I might not have committed treason, but we both know I was selfish and thoughtless when it came to you.”
“You didn’t go through with your plan,” Pel kindly pointed out.
“But I intended to,” Tor admitted. “Even when I started to like you, I spent weeks thinking I could still make the split happen because I couldn’t figure out how else to ensure that I didn’t have to bond with Terila.”
Pel snorted. “You know, if you’d just told me what you were up to, I would probably have helped.”
Tor stared at him, stunned, and Pel laughed at the look on his face. It was very true that there was no love lost between Pel and Terila, though there would have been no way for Tor to have known that at the beginning.
Clearing his throat, Tor said, “I can honestly say the thought never crossed my mind. Which just makes me sound like an ass.”
Pel smirked at him. “But I like your ass.”
This made Tor grin. “Thank goodness. I am sorry, though. Truly.”
“It’s all right.” Pel slipped his arms around Tor’s waist in a loose embrace. “I don’t mean for you to keep apologizing. I understand why you made the decisions you did. I wish you hadn’t come up with that plan—but if you hadn’t, we would never have wound up here, and I can’t regret that.”