Chapter 6 #2
She just sat there with her hands in her lap, looking soft and pretty.
I ain’t know how much longer I could sit here with her and not touch her.
I missed her. But I just dug into the bag again, pulling out a small box.
When I opened it, it was a pen. A Montblanc Meisterstuck pen, to be exact, with BB engraved on the side.
Then, it clicked. Bratty Baby…
“Damn,” I muttered. “Thank you.”
“I got that two days after we came back from my birthday trip,” she said quietly, folding her legs under herself again.
I knew my time was limited from her body language alone. She was withdrawing from me again, and I couldn’t blame her.
I pulled out the last two and set them on my lap. Three Tom Ford ties and three Hermes. I usually wore plain colored ties, but she’d added some color. Devyn added joy to everything, even in small ways like this, and I ruined it.
You just fucked it all up. Now you gotta sit and deal with the consequences.
“I fuck with these,” I said, rubbing my hands across the fabric.
“They’ll look good against your skin,” she said, laying her cheek against the couch.
The last gift sat in my lap, and I almost didn’t want to open it. I picked it up and took my time opening the box. A black dial Royal Oak AP. Dev knew. I wore diamonds occasionally, but it wasn’t my thing. Plain and functional was my style, and she understood.
She shifted in her seat and moved closer to me. “Let me put it on you. I wanna make sure they sized it right.”
She was so close, I could feel her body heat, but she still hadn’t touched me.
“Hold your hand up, so I can put it on,” she said, glancing at me.
I couldn’t stop looking at her. Pretty ass lips, skin glowing even though her eyes looked tired. Her hair was freshly done, and she smelled good as fuck. My heart beat faster as her fingers grazed my wrist. Just that one small touch had me wanting to pull her into my lap.
She grabbed my hand, turning my wrist to make sure it fit. When she turned my hand over, she moved slower, rubbing her thumb against my palm.
“It’s a good fit. Merry Christmas,” she said, looking up at me.
“Merry Christmas, baby.”
I didn’t look away, and neither did she. Then, out of nowhere, her eyes got glossy. I watched the tears form in her eyes, but she didn’t move. It’s like she wanted me to sit with the guilt of what I’d done.
“This is not how Christmas is supposed to feel,” she whispered as a tear slid down her cheek.
She moved back to where she was sitting, and I felt like she took my breath with her.
“We should be celebrating and happy. We were supposed to wake up under the same roof, have breakfast, open our gifts… and this is where we are.” She laughed bitterly, wiping the tears that kept falling.
“And then, you come here with these gifts… stuff you know I love. Sentimental, thoughtful… every part of me wrapped in a lie.” She scoffed, eyes piercing through me.
“Dev, baby, I?—”
“No! Stop! I shouldn’t have asked you to come.
Lonely or not, I should have been strong enough to make it through without leaning on you every time my life is inconvenient.
That’s why I feel the way I do now. I let you have too much power.
Too much of me, and now, I can’t even function without you,” she spat, hands shaking, running her fingers through her hair.
I took a deep breath and sat with what she said. What she didn’t understand was that I couldn’t function without her. I could barely fuckin’ breathe whenever she was near. This shit was hurting me, too.
“I’m sorry, Dev.”
“I know. That’s what’s pissing me off. I know you’re sorry.
I know you love me. I know you miss me! I know all of that.
What I don’t know and understand is WHY!
When you knew you were falling in love with me, that should have been your sign to tell me the truth, but nooo, you just let the love grow under lies.
I can’t believe I let you and everybody else play me. ”
Tears welled in her eyes, and I couldn’t do shit but sit with it. I hurt her, her family hurt her, and now we all had to deal with how she wanted to handle us.
“Dev… I hear you. I ain’t got nothing to say that’s gon’ fix it right now.”
“Of course you don’t,” she spat, standing up and pacing the floor. “I gave you my heart, and you broke it. You knew every fuckin’ thing, and you still did it,” she croaked, staring down at me.
My heart hammered against my ribs as I watched her. She pulled her robe tighter around her body, still pacing.
“And Nanna.” She chuckled bitterly. “I showed her your picture, and she acted like she’d never seen you a day in her life. My mom and my dad… all of y’all. Snakes. Who needs a man and family when all they do is lie?!”
She stopped pacing, then plopped down on the couch, breathing heavily, lip trembling, trying to soothe herself.
I was fuckin’ helpless, watching her unravel from the shit we did to her.
Every secret I kept, thinking that shit kept her safe, when this was the real danger.
Looking at her didn’t give me hope that she’d ever forgive me.
But I sat there and took it. If it meant I could be close to her longer, I’d deal with it.
She wiped her face slowly, lips pulled tight, hands trembling. She was tired. The longer I sat there watching, the more painful it was.
You did this shit to her. You had so many chances to tell the truth and hid it.
Then, she looked at me.
“Why are you still here?” she whispered low and cold.
“Dev, baby—” I said, reaching for her.
She flinched, pulling back, looking at me like I wasn’t shit. “Don’t.”
“Don’t touch me,” she whispered, voice shaking. “You don’t get to comfort me when you’re the reason?—”
She shook her head, closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. When her eyes met mine again, they were so cold that I froze.
“Please… just go,” she said quietly.
For a second, I couldn’t move. But when I saw how serious she was, I knew if I stayed, it would hurt her more. My jaw clenched tight because I knew once I left, she would go right back to not talking to me.
“Okay, Dev.”
I stood slowly, watching her snatch my gifts from the couch and toss them into the gift bag. Tears were streaming down her face now. There was nothing I could do or say to make it better. If she forgave me, it would be because she wanted to.