Chapter 6 #3
Devyn stood up, shoving the bag into my hands.
“Goodbye, Azani,” she croaked, turning away from me.
My legs felt so heavy as I walked toward her door, and her footsteps followed me. I laid my hand on the doorknob, stopped for a second, and waited.
She’s really letting me leave.
When I finally opened the door and stepped out, she was right behind me. I couldn’t even turn around to look at her.
Once the door closed, I stood in the hallway, and the sound on the other side fucked me head up. She was crying. Loud sobs, right by her door. I couldn’t stomach that shit. I hit the elevator button and waited, and I could still hear her.
It was driving me crazy. My heart couldn’t take it. But there was nothing I could do but leave her alone. She didn’t want me to comfort her. She didn’t want me around. I deserved anything she did going forward. I just wasn’t sure if I’d be able to walk away no matter what she said.
Back at home, I sat on my couch, looking at the TV but not paying attention to what was happening.
Leaving her like that broke something in me, but what could I do?
She didn’t want me. I was used to fixing all her problems. Holding her when she needed it.
Rubbing her feet from wearing high ass heels all day.
Rubbing her to sleep when she had a long day.
Making love to her because her body needed mine.
She programmed me to be what she needed, and now I was left with emptiness.
Before Devyn, all I did was work. Between Sector II and my architectural projects, I kept myself busy.
I never took a woman seriously since Mariah.
My life was routine and disciplined. Devyn made me feel alive, and now that I didn’t have her, I felt dead inside again.
My phone buzzed in my lap. It was G calling. It was 3:00 a.m. in Dubai. I ain’t understand why he was calling.
“Merry Christmas, G,” I answered.
“Merry Christmas. You alone?” he asked.
“You know I’m alone. Dev ain’t fuckin’ with me.” I closed my eyes, remembering how she cried when I left.
“Well, you won’t be. I’m pulling up now.”
All this time, I thought he had gone back to Dubai, but he was still here.
I stood and walked to the window. I saw a black truck pull up, so I hung up and walked to the door.
When G walked up the walkway, I swung the door open.
Ibrahim was right behind him. The other trucks took their position on my block.
When we locked eyes, I felt instant relief.
Sitting in this shit alone would swallow me.
Just by the way G was looking at me, I knew he knew how fucked up I was.
As soon as he stepped inside, he grabbed me and hugged me tight.
I could have fallen apart right then. He didn’t let me go; he just stood there, hugging me tighter.
“It’s alright, Ibni. It’s okay to be hurt,” he quietly said.
“This shit is killing me,” I whispered, hugging him tighter.
I swallowed the lump in my throat, trying so fuckin’ hard to hold it.
But once one tear slipped out, another came.
My heart thudded in my chest, and my arms shook from holding onto G so tight.
I still heard her cries in my head. Even though she knew I loved her, she still told me to leave.
I had to stand in the part I played in betraying her.
When G finally pulled back, he kissed my head, and I wiped the tears from my face fast. I was a grown ass man, crying on my grandfather’s shoulder because my girl left me.
He looked at me and shook his head. “That’s okay too, Azani. There’s no reward in holding onto pain. When it hurts, let it out. You know what happens when you don’t release it.”
“I know,” I muttered, shoving my hands in my pockets.
“Come. Talk to me. Tell me what happened,” he said, walking toward the couch.
Once he took off his coat and sat down, I sat beside him, hands clasped together.
“She texted me today. Told me she was alone on Christmas. I took her the gifts, but that made her even sadder. She don’t even trust me no more. The way she cried when I left,” I murmured, closing my eyes. “That’s what broke me.”
“Hmm. You have to give her time, Azani. Let her go through what she needs to. She’s confused and hurt. You had all your life to prepare for her. She didn’t have that luxury.”
My body tensed because knowing never felt like a luxury. It felt like a burden. Carrying something for seventeen years is heavy. I fought this for a long time, and when the opportunity to pursue her presented itself, I took it, not knowing that I’d fall in love with her the way I did.
“I miss her,” I said, low and rough, tryna compose myself.
G’s hand gripped my shoulder, pulling me closer to him. “I know… but you have to let her come to you. No matter how much it hurts, you can’t force her to come back. Take it one day at a time.”
I leaned into him, thinking about how long I would have to wait to hear her voice. If she’d ever trust me again… If she still loved me. There was no plan B. Devyn had all the power now, and there was nothing I could do about it.