Chapter 7
—DEVYN
Today, I was meeting Nanna at Lavender’s. As I pulled my truck up to the valet, I took a deep breath, preparing myself.
I never dreamed that Nanna would do something like this to me.
She took more than she could have ever given by keeping me in the dark.
The valet grabbed my hand as I stepped out of the car, smiling hard and licking his lips like he wanted me to say something.
I snatched my hand from him, damn near stomping toward the door.
Everything slowed down as I walked toward our table.
I dug my nails into my palms, trying to keep my cool.
Soft jazz music played, but it didn’t help the anger on my chest. Nanna looked like her normal self.
Poised, elegant, beautiful, and unbothered.
That pissed me off because how could a person look so calm when they ruined my life?
When she finally looked up, her expression didn’t change.
So, she really don’t give a fuck!
“Nanna,” I said, sliding into my seat.
She stared at me for a few seconds longer than she usually would, folding her hands in front of her. The warm light inside the restaurant shone on her face, highlighting the freckles that mirrored mine.
“Zuri, thank you for coming,” she said, her voice low, eyes dropping to the menu, then back at me. “I already ordered for you.”
“That won’t be necessary. I won’t be eating. This isn’t a social call, Nanna. I came here for answers,” I quipped, leaning back in my chair.
Nanna’s lips pressed together tightly. She laid her hands flat on the table. “Okay, Devyn. Let’s have this conversation.”
As I stared back at the person who used to be everything to me, my heart ached.
I lost my best friend. The person I told every little secret.
Things I hadn’t even told Parker, Nanna knew.
She was the one who made me believe I could do whatever I wanted.
She made me believe the world and everything in it was mine.
Now, I was second-guessing anything she ever taught me.
“Why? Why did you do this to me? How could you look me in my face and lie to me my entire life?” I murmured, staring back at her.
She sighed, brushing her hair off her shoulders.
“Devyn, our family is very powerful. Generations of power and alliances that require cooperation to maintain balance. To keep the system afloat, sometimes marriages are arranged. In your case, you represent peace among the Stone and Heathrow families. Without your cooperation, you know what will happen. If not Azani following through with that oath, it will be someone else.”
I ground my teeth because now I felt like she was playing with my intelligence. She said a bunch of nothing, trying to distract me.
“Nanna,” I said, closing my eyes. “I do not care about the oath right now. I don’t even care about Azani. I care about what you did to me! As your granddaughter. A person you claimed to love more than anything and anyone in this world.”
She licked her lips, lacing her fingers together again.
“It was either that, or we all die. You wouldn’t have been born.
Your uncle RJ? Dead. Your mother and father?
Dead. My husband… dead.” She tapped her finger on the table, avoiding eye contact with me.
“You… You don’t understand the immense pressure I was under. ”
My jaw clenched tight, I stared at her because she was still trying to manipulate my mind just like she’d been doing my whole life.
I shook my head and laughed once. “You’re still trying to make this about the arrangement when none of that matters to me. I want to know why you lied to me. You could have told me the truth. For you, I would’ve done it willingly. No questions asked!” I spat.
The waiter stopped in front of our table with the food, and I sucked my teeth.
“We… we won’t be eating,” Nanna stuttered. “Can you take that back?”
“Yes, Mrs. Heathrow. Is there something else I can get for you?” the waiter asked.
“Scotch,” she said, tucking her hair behind her ear.
“Cognac,” I said flatly. “Bring the whole bottle.”
He nodded and walked away, leaving us there. The silence between us was deafening. I counted how many times she blinked and every breath she took.
“I wanted you to be free, Devyn,” she whispered. “I never had freedom. The burden of knowing your life is not your own is a weight too heavy for a child to carry. As you got older, the years got away from me… I wanted to tell you. I just didn’t know how.”
“I find that hard to believe, Nanna. You run our family like a military operation. There’s nothing either of us can do that you won’t have your eyes and hands on.
Especially me. Every ballet recital, every tennis match, every award ceremony—you never missed anything.
Is that why? You wanted to make sure I was good enough to sell me to the highest bidder? ”
“Devyn,” she choked. “That is not what I did or what I tried to do. I never wanted to hurt you. I was selfish. I just wanted you to have a life outside of what duty would force you into.”
“Hmm,” I chuckled. “Well, guess what? Duty found me anyway. Manipulated me just like you. Mommy and Daddy waited three whole days to call me. I haven’t heard from Granddad either. I guess I should give you some credit. You were the only one able to face me.”
“This thing is bigger than all of us. It’s not one person calling the shots; it's a system. Something your grandfather created was too big for him to handle. Blood was spilled on both sides. The consequence was your grandfather going to a prison within the system,” she said, looking off, then back at me.
“I had to pick up the pieces. I had to handle the Heathrow family’s business and my own.
Everything Silverman dropped in my lap because my own father was involved. You don’t understand, Devyn.”
I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples, trying to stay calm.
“Nanna, you still don’t get it, do you? You were my everything, and you betrayed me.
I would have expected something like this from Mommy…
even my Daddy. All the etiquette classes.
The debutante balls and charity events they had me attend when all I wanted was to be a kid.
“Then, here you come, like my savior,” I said, shaking my head.
“Sneaking me out of classes. Taking me shopping instead. Letting me take freestyle dance classes in the summer. I can hear you clear as day, ‘Be free, Zuri… The world is yours.’ The world you let me believe I owned was a cage. A big ass cage, but a cage nonetheless.”
Nanna didn’t say anything at first. She just stared at me.
“I was wrong. I should have told you and prepared you for this life. But doing that would have stunted your growth. You would have been Azani’s wife and nothing else.
I didn’t want that for you. Even your mother.
When have you known her to have a job, life, or an identity outside of being your mother and Dakota’s wife? ”
As soon as I opened my mouth to say something, the waiter walked over. He started to pour my drink into my glass. I gave him a look that made him stop mid-pour.
“Is this the wrong cognac, Ms. Van Blair? I do apologize,” he said, looking between Nanna and me.
“Justin,” I said, looking at his name tag, then back at him. “Leave the bottle, the glasses, and walk away,” I said, low and cold.
He nodded and walked away fast. I poured my drink, and so did Nanna. We both took a few sips, glancing at each other every few seconds.
“Again,” I said, placing my glass down. “What does that have to do with this? But… I’ll humor you.
Why are you, Vivian Heathrow, not only Reagan’s wife and Victoria and RJ’s mother?
You had choices; I could have too. You own businesses.
You have five different degrees. Traveling, organizing events.
Mommy wanted to be a housewife. That could never be me.
So, again, what was the reason you couldn’t tell me? ”
She dropped her head, sipping her drink again. “I was wrong, Devyn. I made the wrong choice. I apologize, baby. Truly.”
That apology would have been nice if I hadn’t seen certain parts of the arrangement.
‘There shall be no children outside of the arranged marriage.’ Yeah, explain that.
My blood boiled at the thought. I didn’t know how far they would go to make this arrangement stick. What else had they taken from me in the name of duty and sacrifice? Tears burned my eyes as I looked Nanna straight in hers.
“What about Sevyn, Nanna?” I whispered. “In the arrangement, it says we can’t have any outside children. Did you or anybody else do something that made her be stillborn?”
Nanna’s eyes bulged out of her head. “How could you ask me that? I would never hurt a child, much less my own great-granddaughter. Do you really think that low of me, Devyn?”
My legs shook under the table. I gripped the glass to keep my hands from shaking.
“Then, if you didn’t do anything, and it was just my body that couldn’t keep my daughter safe, what would you have done if she were born alive and healthy?”
Silence. She couldn’t even look at me.
“Tell me, Nanna. What would you have done to my daughter? Or would it be the Stone family to carry that out, too? Go ahead, tell me what would have happened to my daughter!” I spat.
“Please,” Nanna cried, tears rolling down her cheeks.
“Please, what?” I choked, trying to hold back tears. “Would you have smothered her? Let Azani’s father snap her neck at birth? He acts like he hates our whole family and me… Tell me.”
Nanna closed her eyes, breaths coming in shallow, holding her chest. When she finally opened her eyes, I knew she would say something that might break my heart forever.
“Adoption,” she whispered.
My ears rang, and tears blurred my vision. I felt like I could throw up. “Nanna,” I croaked. “You would have taken my baby from me?”
She reached across the table to grab my hand, and I snatched away from her.