Chapter 14
Natalie
Nat: What time do you want me tonight?
Candace: The girls are getting ready at a friend's house, so after I drop them off I’ll be free.
Nat: Sweet! Can we wear matching outfits?
Candace: Now that you mention it..;)
“You smile like such a fucking idiot when you’re texting the Prez.” Megan’s leaning against the doorframe like a tiny hippie stalker.
“Go away. Your presence wasn’t requested,” I mumble, scrolling through my texts.
“Don't mind me, sext away. I love a good show.”
Ignoring her creepy stance and watchful eyes, I grab my makeup bag along with the only dress I own. It’s a floor-length black velvet gown with lace detailing up the arms.
“Can I borrow your black pumps with the studs?” Dirty clothes go flying as I tear my room apart searching for the curling iron.
“Sure, fancy pants. Take whatever you need, just make sure you use protection tonight,” she sneers, leaving the room to grab her shoes.
“You’re such a fucking troll. Why have I kept you around this long?” I yell out at her.
“Because of my amazing cooking skills.” Giant black pumps with silver studs come flying at me from the hallway.
“Thank you, darling. You’re a lifesaver, but you can’t cook for shit.” After throwing the shoes into my tote, I’m ready to go.
When I grab the door handle to leave, nerves fire through my body as if I’m going on a first date.
“What's wrong? Forget how to use the door?” Megan’s stirring up some brown liquid in a clear mixing bowl, watching me suspiciously. “Uh oh. I know that look.”
“It’s not like that. My brain malfunctioned, thinking I forgot eyeliner.” I wince at my own lie.
“Liar, you’d bring eyeliner to your funeral. You like the Prez, just admit it. It’s not like I don't know. I live with you and see the way you get all flustered when you’re sending her morning texts.”
Throwing caution to the wind, I word vomit, pouring out my heart to my best friend.
“I have the world’s biggest crush, and it’s all-consuming.
When I'm not with her, I wanna be, and when I’m with her, it’s like nothing else matters.
It’s not just that she’s next-level beautiful and has the most amazing smile with a body I wanna run my tongue over.
She’s got this depth and ease to her that nobody else sees.
The night we went to The Postal Service, she was hanging out of the car, and it was like she was experiencing life for the first time, and I got to be there with her.
I want that feeling for the rest of my life.
If I can wake up with her and view life in that way, I would die happy. ”
“I don’t mean to point out the obvious, but she’s straight and has two kids. You can’t get all sappy and forget about reality, and hers is a lot different from yours, honey.” She hesitates, poking at her bowl of goo. “I mean, does she even know?”
My eyes water as I shake my head. “I wanna live in my reality though, with her. This becomes too real if she finds out, and I drag her down memory lane. What if she doesn’t like what she hears, or worse, what if she doesn’t feel the same way?”
“She might surprise you.” She shrugs. “I mean, you guys have gotten close pretty fast. You’re never gonna find what you’re looking for if you don’t let anyone in. I know it’s scary, dude, but you’ve gotta be honest with her.”
“I’ll tell her tonight, after the dance.” I nod.
“I love you. You’ve got this.” She nods back and returns to her mixing, while I double-check I actually do have my eyeliner.
Driving down Candace’s street has become familiar, although it still weirds me out how different your house can look when your husband’s totally loaded.
Chills run down my spine as I imagine all her neighbors peeking through their overpriced blinds, inspecting my beat-up car with paint chips and a busted bumper, cruising down their perfect street.
She answers the door in a silky pink robe and fluffy white slippers. Her blonde hair is held together by a dozen pink curlers. “Sorry, I look like a mess.” She looks down, examining her robe. Drool seeps out of my mouth while my eyes glaze over, curious if she’s naked underneath.
“Your eyebrows are matching.” Cool beans, I’ll just go bury myself alive.
“Thanks…?” She turns around, leading me into the house.
So fucking stupid, this is worse than any crush I had in middle school.
I’m a grown woman who lives on her own, kind of.
Pays her own bills, does what she wants, sleeps with who she wants, and yet I spend two seconds with Candace and my brain turns to mush.
I can’t do this, I’m not about to fall for a straight woman with two daughters.
“Oh good! You brought your own curling iron. I only have one since the girls took theirs with them. Come on, we can set up in my bathroom.” She’s a few steps ahead, giving me enough space to check out her ass that’s barely hidden by the robe.
Her long, sculpted legs are on display for me to salivate over.
Once we start caking on foundation, I’m in my element, and the nerves are gone. Candace has a small pile of makeup. However, I have every eyeshadow palette I own, three mascara tubes, and enough blush to cover our bodies spread across my side of the mirror.
“You’re lucky.” She looks over into the mirror, curling her lashes. “You get to wear all that and not look older than you are. If I wear too much concealer, all the lines around my eyes will show, and I’ll look older than a grandmother.”
“Oh, please, what lines? Your face is like a baby doll, there’s nothing wrong with it.”
“Where’d you learn to do a wing like that? Did you watch your mom a lot growing up? My girls aren’t into makeup yet, but they love watching me put my face on in the morning.”
A knot forms in my gut as I continue with my wing, making sure each side matches just enough. “No, I didn’t watch my mom.”
When I don’t say anymore, she looks over, but I keep my focus on the precision of my liner. I can feel her staring. She’s got daughters of her own. She should be able to put two and two together and drop it.
“Do you have any new music for me?”
“Not new, but I think you’ll like it.” I plug my lime green iPod into the speaker she keeps in her bathroom for the girls to use.
The music plays while we move into a comfortable rhythm.
Each of us curls our hair, dusts on eyeshadow, and plucks stray chin hairs.
My stolen glances don’t go unnoticed, and I blush every time I feel her eyes on me.
It’s nothing like getting ready with Megan, who spends most of the time singing show tunes and stealing my lash glue.
There’s a comfortable silence with Candace that’s typically saved for close friends and family members, but with her, it’s so easy.
We’re moving at our own pace, occasionally scoping out each other’s collection, but there's no pressure to push a conversation.
“Okay, this may be one of my favorites. I’m playing it again.” She gets a hold of the iPod and replays “Must Be Dreaming.”
The light-hearted electro pop fills the bathroom, and she sings along to the words she’s memorized, just like she did on the car ride home from the concert.
Our energy reminds me of being in a relationship, just two lovers getting ready for date night.
My chest hurts, knowing it’s nothing more than two new friends who have the same event to attend.
“You look like a bronze sun goddess who just spent the summer on a beach.” Her hand shakes a little as she overlines her pink lips.
“That’s the point. The goal is to spend as little time as possible in the sun while looking like you were on a tropical vacation.”
“Guess I didn’t get that memo. At my age, I’m trying to cover up the sun damage from my wild years of going without sunscreen.” Her lips pout as she glides on a layer of gloss.
“Wow, how unbelievably punk rock of you.”
All five senses go haywire when she excuses herself to put her dress on.
As she saunters off towards the closet, she lets the silk robe slide off her back and fall to the floor.
My jaw drops as I admire her smooth skin and the matching lace set now covering all the naughty parts I wanna take a bite of.
I’ve got a first-class ticket to hell for having dirty thoughts about my very straight friend, but if I’m going anyway, I might as well ride in style.
Her long, champagne dress bunches on the floor as she comes towards me. “Can you zip me up? I’ve never worn this dress, and there’s no way I can reach the zipper.”
She tossed the bra, leaving her back bare.
Just for me, well, maybe not for me, but I’m sticking with that.
My conscience reminds me that we’re here as friends and I’m forbidden from reaching out and licking her.
Once my hand connects with the metal zipper, my brain comes back to life, and I glide it up without issue.
The long-sleeve dress is snug on her curves but modest. Although I’m the only one who knows she’s completely naked underneath. It’s a dirty little secret we’re sharing. There’s no need to go commando, but she did, and not only is she naked. She asked me to assist with the zipper, knowing I’d see.
“Ready to go?” She grabs her gold clutch from the counter, fastening it.
“One sec. My dress is easy to slip on. I’ll meet you downstairs in five.” With my phone in hand, I haul ass to the closet, shutting the door for added privacy.
Nat: Red alert bitch! Red alert SOS
Meg: What happened!?
Nat: Dude shes not wearing any fucking panties…she had me zip up her dress and she’s completely naked. I’ve NEVER been naked in front of my “friends” before. Is this some kind of weird test?
Meg: You’re naked in front of me all the time
Nat: Not even the same thing you’re like my sister…Candace is the furthest thing from my sister
Meg: Have you ever wanted to go down on me …you know strictly as a “sister” ??? ;)
Nat: You’re disgusting…and NOT helpful
Meg: Good luck champ! <3 im rooting for you
She was as helpful as a sandpaper dildo, and now I’m standing naked in my dream girl's closet needing to get the hell downstairs.
“Ready!” I holler, stumbling down the stairs, sounding so guilty.
Candace does nothing to calm the raging lady boner I’ve got. Her sultry eyes watching me as I fumble towards her adds gasoline to the fire burning inside me. If we don’t book it immediately, I may never let her leave.
“Everything alright?” Given that I’m stress-eating peanut M&Ms like a raccoon in a crisis, I’m going to go with no.
“Never better.” Chocolate falls out of my mouth onto the floor. “You know, just stress eating, typical Nat stuff.”