Chapter 24
Natalie
Her parents are absolute lunatics, and I’m five seconds away from calling the cops. Sounds dramatic, but any sane person would agree with me after spending time with these cuntsicles.
“We’re her parents, we have every right to drop by unannounced. You’re lounging on the couch with our granddaughters as if you’re paying rent. Wait till her husband finds out.” Candace’s mom has been squawking like a hawk since she barged in.
“Don’t you mean ex-husband?” I ask, doing my best to keep my tone steady. “Are we sure he’s even real? I’ve been around for a hot minute and have never met Daddy of the Year.”
It’s probably not my finest moment, but I’ve never been prepped to deal with people like this. I don’t know the protocol for arguing with rich snobs in front of the girls, but if they haven’t heard this shit by now, they’re about to.
Candace’s dad has stayed lurking in the shadows of the foyer, allowing his rabid wife off her muzzle.
Until now, when he steps out into the kitchen, his burly form is on full display.
They’re once again in matching jogging suits, his hair is slicked back, scattered with more salt than pepper.
His shoulders are broad and his hips wide as he takes his stance, crossing his arms over his chest. It’s an intimidation factor that I’m not bowing down to.
“I’m disappointed in my daughter for the company she’s chosen to keep in front of two impressionable young girls.
We’ve heard about her careless behavior at school and her tennis class which she missed this week.
Are you to blame for this sudden act of rebellion?
” He asks, keeping his freakishly dark eyes locked on me.
Before I can tell this chode to fuck off and take his miniature pinscher with him, Candace jumps up from the couch, completely disoriented.
“Mom, Dad. What are you guys doing here, and why’s everyone yelling?” She wobbles towards me, trying her hardest to wake up.
“We were on our nightly patrol and saw your lights on past the girls' bedtime. When we knocked, this heathen answered and was downright disrespectful to us. I couldn’t believe you’d allow her back into your home after the mess she made last time.
” Her mom barks, not even waiting a second for her daughter to snap out of her slumber.
“Downright rude? I said everyone was sleeping, you couldn’t just come in and wake them up.”
Her growl is terrifying, and for a minute, I think she’ll actually bite me.
Turning her attention to her daughter, she completely ignores me.
“How dare you let that teenager speak to me this way? I’m your mother, Candace.
Now, please ask her to leave and not to enter our neighborhood again.
This is an embarrassment. Can you even imagine the phone calls being made right now, wondering what all the fuss is about? ”
“What fuss?” She shrugs, and looks over at me. “This is a mild disagreement, and it’s ending now. Thank you for the concern. I need to put my girls back to bed.”
“You know.” Her dad walks closer to her, towering over his petite daughter. “We expect this kind of behavior from Courtney, but never from you.”
With that, the neighborhood rent-a-cops skedaddle, and Candace ushers the girls upstairs, turning to me with tears in her eyes.
“I swear to God, if you kick me out again, I’m decorating their house with used toilet paper just to rile them up.”
“Don’t do that, they’d have you arrested, and I don’t want you to leave. I’m not kicking you out, I’m so humiliated and sorry that you had to deal with that.” She stammers, choking back the waterworks.
I kiss the top of her head gently. “Don’t sweat it, I enjoy watching the vein in your mom’s neck bulge out every time I swear in front of her.”
“I’m sure they’ve already called Greg, and we’ll have a repeat of this tomorrow,” she says in between soft sobs that are tearing me to pieces and fueling my hate fire for this stupid fucking family.
“I really don’t understand what the big deal is. We were watching a movie at nine o'clock on a Friday.”
She shrugs. “It’s just how they are. They have standards no one could ever live up to, but still feel everyone should go out of their way to try.
It’s suffocating, and I completely understand why Court wants nothing to do with them.
They drain the very soul from your body.
Their presence alone changes the entire tone of this house.
It’s like they come in and suck the happiness right out. ”
I nod, coming up with a great picture in my head. “Kind of like the Barrow-wights, I get it now.”
She looks up with furrowed brows. “Sure, whatever that means. Probably something my girls would understand.” Her body tenses as she pushes me away.
“Why are you even still here? I don’t understand any of your pop culture references, no matter how many times you explain them.
We’re a full generation apart, for God's sake! I could be your mother.”
“It’d be so fucking hot if you let me call you, mommy,” I chime in.
She’s furiously rubbing her temples and shaking her head. “Nat, my parents can’t stand you. The PTA is trying to have you fired, and I’m certain my neighbors have already complained to the city about your car and the inappropriate language in the backyard.”
“One, what's wrong with my car? And two, who gives a flying monkey’s fart about any of that? I thought this was you and me. Your mom and dad hate everyone. I bet they hate each other, and that’s why they spend Friday night prowling the neighborhood.
Your neighbors are nosey assholes and need some good entertainment, which I’m more than happy to provide.
And for the twats in the PTA, those bitches wouldn’t know happiness if they injected it into their brains. ”
Her silence is deafening and causes rippling panic.
If this is it for us, there’s no way I’m going out without one hell of a fight.
“Look at me. I’ve never cared about the age gap or that you aren’t musically inclined.
It’s fun for me to teach you cool shit, seeing as you don’t have any in your life.
The girls aren’t even a dealbreaker for me.
Trust me, I know we’re worlds apart, but you and I fit together, and I won’t let you convince yourself otherwise just because your parents stormed in like it was D-Day and took over. ”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.” Her head’s down as she comes back towards me, taking my hand in hers.
“Stop apologizing, nothing happened. The only thing I’m upset about is your parents interrupting right as Sam Rockwell was moonwalking.
” Her laugh is the ultimate validation that we’re still okay, even though I’m going to tread lightly all night.
“Don’t laugh, I’m serious. That’s a pivotal part in the movie. ”
“How about we go upstairs, and I'll make it up to you.” Her hand runs down my spine, inching towards the waistband of my sweats.
“Oh ya? You’re gonna moonwalk for me?” I joke.
“No, but I thought maybe we could try something else.”
Her tone is seductive, and I lose all control, forgetting there are mini humans in the house who are probably eavesdropping. “We’d better get upstairs before I strip you down right here in front of the window for the neighbors to drool over.”