The Quiet Sun

Chapter thirty-six

Through the grassy hills, Aris and I rode with Pacha, the name of his horse, as I found out during the ride.

We left behind Helon, who told Aris he would see him later this evening for dinner, and Beshien and Justir, who nodded their goodbyes.

We had been riding for an hour, conversing comfortably over what my life was like before…everything, and I thought we might have completely left the empire of Siniya when we finally descended into a beautiful clearing.

He was an attentive listener and asked thoughtful questions about myself and my family. I hadn’t had the nerve just yet to ask about what his life was like in Stroka besides knowing his connection to Jonam.

“Was he happy?”

I knew it was most likely a dumb question, but I had to ask.

Aris’ arms tensed around mine.

“I think it was important for him to know he was doing some good in this world.

And he was.

He changed my life and because of him, I’ll be changing others’ as well.

I think he was as happy as he could be in a dark place like Stroka. His positivity was remarkable. I know that it affected me. It made me think differently. That perhaps no matter how dark a place might seem, there’s always beauty in searching for the light, because at the end of the day that’s all that matters. In the end, it’s the courage one has that matters, not the way we end, but by the way we live.”

“I bet you talked philosophy with him, didn’t you?”

I curved my lips.

Aris laughed.

“Of course.”

“What do you believe in?”

“I believe in the light,”

he said.

His breath trickled down the side of my neck.

“And the light always wins.”

I knew his arms were around me while we rode, but his presence was like a warm hug around my heart and soul.

We were bordering a flowing, clear blue river that glittered against the bright sunlight.

I was in awe of the colors and sparkle of this place Aris brought me to when he gently pulled me down from the saddle.

I couldn’t take my eyes off the trees that swayed in the light breeze.

Even the trunks of the trees twirled and entwined with its branches. Landing on the ground, it was covered in a carpet of green grass. Without thinking, I took my leather sandals off so that I could feel the cool touch on my bare feet and the grass sliding between my toes.

I heard Aris chuckle softly behind me.

Butterflies flew in all directions within my stomach.

“Do you always get this excited for grass?”

Heat rose to my cheeks. “I do,”

I admitted.

“I can’t imagine who wouldn’t.

It’s soft and fresh.

It makes me feel connected to the land somehow.”

“Do you want to be connected to this land?”

Aris brought down a saddle bag and placed it over his shoulder.

I took a moment to gather my thoughts.

“Most people would disagree with me, but I see land as the Creator’s land.

It does not belong to anyone or anything.

It’s the people that live on the land that makes me feel welcomed or not, but the land itself…it always welcomes kindness and admiration from the people who walk on it.

And I will give that to the land, no matter how its people treat me.”

“You don’t think this land belongs to me?”

Aris asked.

I caught his intense gaze, and to my surprise, I did not submit.

“No, I don’t.

I think you think it does and so does everyone else, but it does not belong to you nor to anyone else.

The land has its own master, and it allows us to live here and take care of its beauty and feast off of it.”

“A witch and a philosopher as well.”

Aris shook his head in amusement.

My face deepened its color, and I hid a smile.

After Aris wrapped Pacha’s leather straps around a nearby branch, he grabbed my hand and led me near the river.

He let go to place an auburn blanket from the saddle bag on the grassy ground.

Meanwhile, I walked barefoot to a nearby apple tree that had mesmerized me since we stopped.

Its branches reached for the sky and called my name, beckoning me closer.

I decided to climb the old apple tree and find the juiciest apples.

Holding a thick branch above my head with both hands, I walked my feet up the trunk and wrapped my leg over the branch.

Lifting the rest of my body, crouching low, I raised my hands to the next branch above me.

I used to do this as a child.

I’d play in the orchards that belonged to our neighbors.

My brother, sister, and I would run to the orchard fields and fill our baskets with juicy apples, giggling at whoever got stuck with the smallest.

One of my last memories of my brother flashed in my mind.

“I don’t want you to go.

I’ll be alone here.

You know that I will.

There’s no one like us here. Why do you have to go?”

Tears burned my eyes, threatening to be released.

“Because this is what I’m meant to do, Solei.

This is where I’m meant to go.

It’s hard to explain… But I have a feeling—I always have.

Hey, hey, don’t cry. Listen, when I come back from the war, I’ll purchase some land with the earnings I receive, and you and Nour can come and live with me, okay? We’ll build on the new land across the seas.”

A small sniffling sound escaped my nose.

“You promise?”

“Of course.”

His big bear hug engulfed my small body.

“I’ll be back just in time for your birthday.

You’ll barely have time to miss me.”

The memories still fresh in my mind left my heart aching as I lifted myself up another branch.

I had a feeling the ache was never really going to leave.

“With you being susceptible to danger, I wouldn’t advise this!”

Aris shouted from the ground with his arms across his chest.

I laughed at his worry.

“Good thing I’m an expert at climbing trees.”

“Is that so?”

“Maybe this will be how I plan my escape from you.”

I climbed a third branch, and he looked smaller and smaller from the view.

I could feel his dark eyes growing serious.

“I’ll find you every time.”

Looking below as I climbed a fourth branch, I retorted.

“I’m holding you to that.”

I was playing with fire once again.

I held my stance on the fourth branch, not sure if I would dare another climb.

Aris grabbed the branch and hoisted himself up without using his feet against the trunk.

Some serious abs he’s got.

“I’m not letting you go that easy.”

In half the time it took me to get up here, I found Aris crouched at a nearby branch across the trunk from me.

He hadn’t even broken out in a sweat.

Absurd.

I wanted to roll my eyes.

“You speak highly of yourself, Aris.

You haven’t even gotten me.”

The challenge caused a spark in his eyes, and his mouth curved slightly.

“You are mine,”

he stated as he crawled towards the trunk that separated us, not dropping his gaze from mine.

A tingling sensation went down my leg as he said those words.

Looking to distract myself from the feeling within me, I snatched the biggest reddest apple I could find and bit into the juiciest one I’d ever tasted.

The tart juices exploded in my mouth.

I left the apple in my mouth as I grabbed the branch I crouched on, swung myself below, and landed on the branch beneath me.

Taking a bite of the apple, I chewed it and looked up at Aris, who was smiling at this point.

“Then come get me.”

Chucking the rest of the apple on the ground, I swung myself down the thick and steady branches.

I could hear Aris doing the same, only on the other side of the old tree.

My feet landed on the soft grass as I set off into a sprint, laughing.

Looking over my shoulder, Aris was catching up like a panther.

I knew with speed I wasn’t going to get away, but it was amusing to make him fight for it.

I almost made it to the river when his arms wrapped around my waist and lifted me off the ground.

I squealed from the anticipation.

It was exhilarating.

Aris’ arms tightened around me as he twirled me from the river.

“Nice try.”

I could sense Aris smile as he let me go and plopped on the blanket with his arms behind his head.

I couldn’t remember the last time I had this much excitement, even when my family was alive.

Being the youngest in the family, attention was hard to find.

I didn’t think I’d ever had this much attention from one person.

That scared me.

Was I a fool for thinking Aris might have feelings for me the way I did for him? Would he let me go the way he did with Camilla?

Ignoring the thoughts in my head, I lay near Aris, but not too close.

Just close enough I could still think.

And I needed to keep my head straight.

It was the only thing that would keep my vow intact. After several minutes of comfortable, sweet silence listening to birds in the trees, Aris’ voice filled the air.

“Tell me what your thoughts are.”

Aris faced me on my right.

His hand propped up his head so he could see all of me, observing.

I flushed bright red.

I wasn’t sure if it was from the heat and the sweater I wore over my arms for protection or if it was because of the honest answer.

“You don’t want to know.”

“Are you questioning what I want?”

I faced him when I heard the challenge in his voice, and it almost took my breath away.

Well, if he wanted to know so badly.

“I was thinking about you and Camilla.”

His face turned stone-cold and lifeless.

“I told you, you didn’t want to know.”

“You know me so well,”

he said dryly.

“I wouldn’t say so,”

I whispered, staring through the trees above.

“What do you want to know?”

I took a moment to gather my thoughts, hoping he wouldn’t get upset.

“How did you find Siniya when your father, Malakar, is Stroka’s emperor?”

Aris lay on his back as he contemplated his answer.

“I found Siniya with my father when we were conquering some lands when I was barely a man—a boy, really.

Siniya was broken and desperate for someone to lead.

I saw that when I was young and kept an eye on it as I grew older.

I stepped in when I was old enough…after Jonam.”

He swallowed audibly.

“I was looking for a way out, from Malakar.”

I listened as he continued.

“I couldn’t survive there.

Not after everything had happened.

I don’t know how my mother does it.

I offered everything to her once I came into my position—protection, security, power, everything.”

A muscle twitched in his jaw.

“Why doesn’t she come here with you?”

“She refuses to leave him.

Even after everything he’s done to her and to me.

The countless times he’d almost crushed her skull against the wall for being careless.”

Aris shook his head absently.

His tone turned flat.

“The countless times he punished me for not seeing things when I should have.

If I missed anything he’d burn me, wait for my skin to almost heal, and burn me again.

Never letting me overlook a single fucking thing he asked.

He’d have his entertainment showing me who had the power, how much he had of it. It was a game for him. He thought he’d craft me into some warrior god who’d see all and do all for him.”

My mouth went dry.

That explained how exceptionally observant he was.

It was engrained by pure torture.

“I would have become a ghost if I stayed there—my soul would have disintegrated until there was nothing left.

I left when I was old enough to lead.

I’ve been finding a way to protect my mother.

I’d do anything for her. She deserves a good life, far, far away from that animal.”

He paused and swallowed, looking into the distant sky, an empty stare, before he continued.

“She’s afraid.

I know she is.

She’s in an invisible prison, forced to be his wife, his lover.”

He peered over at me.

“An invisible slave.”

I returned his glance.

Listening between the words he didn’t speak, I knew exactly what he meant.

“You are nothing like him, Aris.”

He looked back at the sky, afraid I’d see through him, but it was too late.

“I am not afraid of you.”

I reached my hand across the blanket but kept them from making contact.

“You’re not forcing me to do anything I don’t want to do.”

“That so? You’re here, aren’t you?”

“That’s not because of you.”

“Isn’t it?”

“If I’d been left in my country, I would have died.

If they took me to Stroka, what would my life be like there?”

“Not pretty.”

He faced me again.

I smiled at him.

He showed me he cared about my well-being, and my heart swelled in response to his words.

But didn’t he do the same with Camilla?

“So, you’re not going to escape me then?”

He winked.

The air turned lighter, and the dullness in his eyes was fading.

“That’s for me to know and you to find out.”

I bit my lip.

Gods, it felt nice when he did that.

Suddenly, I was overheating, my face burning up.

I sat up from the blanket.

Lifting my arms, I pulled my sweater off, exposing the thinnest beige dress I owned.

I had put it on so I wouldn’t overheat in the sweater while out in the sunny garden today. Clearly that didn’t work too well.

“Good thing I won’t find out too late.

I always know what’s coming.”

He observed as I rearranged my dress to be more appropriate, feeling his eyes pierce through me.

“Do you?”

I leaned on my hand, palming the blanket, facing Aris.

My red hair carpeted my shoulder, a long, curly mess.

“Always.”

Without a second thought, I leaned forward, hoping to catch him by surprise.

My heart pounded out of my chest.

His body was as still as a statue as I reached closer to his face.

And just when I was about to touch his lips, I teased him with a smile and looked into his eyes. Laughing heartily, I fell back on the blanket.

“Doubt you saw that coming.”

Playing with the devil.

I didn’t know what I was doing or thinking, but my body wanted to play with his.

Aris touched my sides, brushing his fingers in a quick manner until I screamed my laughter.

I couldn’t handle it.

I could not handle it.

He found spots on my body I had never felt so ticklish before. Finally, with laughs rumbling all over his body, he let me go. I fell back on the blanket, out of breath with some laughter still escaping my throat.

“Who knew you’d be such a tease.”

He appeared above me, hovering over my body.

I attempted to slow my breath, but I couldn’t with his face so close to mine.

His eyes, a perfect shade of twilight darkness.

Aris lowered his legs along mine, causing my dress to lift slightly.

Aris looked further down my body as his hand explored down my side. A giggle escaped me for a moment, and then silence crept in.

He gazed while he felt me, and it sent my body vibrating with electricity from his soft touch.

I wanted him.

I wanted everything he would give me.

I wanted his hands and his lips all over my body.

I swallowed and felt a slight pressure in my chest, knowing I shouldn’t want this.

The little voice in my mind was the most distant it had ever been.

I could barely hear it.

I didn’t want to feel shame for how I felt for Aris anymore.

Aris played with my dress, lifting it higher and higher from my bare leg.

He let it go as his fingers trailed over my stomach onto the middle of my chest.

My breathing turned unsteady.

His gaze followed his fingers as he memorized my body. With his mouth, he reached for the strings that held the top of my dress, gently tugging them until they parted and fell. His fingers found the thin strap over my shoulder, pulling it down and down my arm. My body shuddered with how light and gentle his touches were.

His eyes lifted and locked with mine.

I stopped breathing altogether.

Leaning down until his face was about to touch mine, he tilted his head and breathed upon my neck.

My chest rose with each inhale, wanting more.

His hand drifted to the other strap on my shoulder.

With each gentle tug, he pulled my thin strap lower. Fingers grazed my skin, leaving warm, tingling sensations throughout my body.

“Please,”

I whispered.

He was teasing me, as I did him.

But he knew what he was doing.

He continued, not listening to my cries, and explored my hips with his fingers.

Slowly, he lifted the other side of my dress and raised it to my hip.

I couldn’t handle it.

I wanted—needed more than this.

He was about to travel to my chest when I laid my hand under his jaw, guiding him towards me.

His eyes were the darkest I’d yet seen.

Hungry. Burning.

I brought his face closer to mine, and he obliged, giving in, brushing his lips upon mine and sending thousands of butterflies between my legs.

His lips were soft and gentle as they pulled mine apart.

He tasted like heaven would, sweet and warm.

I opened my mouth just a fragment wider, and his tongue swept in and around mine.

We danced with our mouths, as his hand grazed higher on my now bare leg.

I could feel a pressure between my legs.

The small voice in my head had completely disappeared along with all my cares.

I wanted him.

I gasped sharply when his hand reached between my legs where no man had ever touched me before.

I’d never experienced such vulnerability like this before.

For a moment, Aris froze his mouth on mine and opened his eyes to make sure I was willing to go forward.

That I was ready for this.

We both breathed together, moving along with nature’s rhythm, and stared into each other’s eyes.

“Are you okay?”

he whispered against my lips.

“I—I’ve never—never done this.”

I breathed with him.

His throat worked.

“Have you ever touched yourself?”

“Touched myself?”

His hand barely moved, staying between my legs, and it felt comforting in a way.

“Of course I have.”

I let out a soft laugh.

A moment or two passed by, and I couldn’t read Aris’ expression.

“No, what I mean is, have you pleasured yourself before?”

My brows twitched in confusion.

I put two and two together, and thoughts flooded my head, but none of it made any sense.

I flushed a deeper red.

“We can stop,”

he suggested.

I was so scared, but I wanted it more than anything.

I could feel his hand completely stilled between my legs, not daring another move.

It felt like it belonged there.

My body pulsated, as if it were begging for him to continue.

“I don’t want to stop.”

“Are you sure?”

“No—maybe.

Yes—yes, definitely.”

I sounded like an idiot.

“I just don’t know—how to do any of this.”

“You don’t need to do anything unless you want to.”

His lips were so close to mine as he spoke to me, and I didn’t want to talk anymore.

Grabbing the back of his head, I pulled him to my mouth.

“I don’t want you to stop,”

I whispered between the movement of our lips.

He swore in my mouth.

His hand moved higher as he tugged on my lower lip.

The strength I felt from him between my legs created a burning sensation within me.

His fingers touched me, and I nearly whimpered.

He gently explored me, his tongue ceaselessly intertwining with mine until one finger slid into me.

I inhaled sharply as he used another at the top of my sex, massaging it.

All I could feel was my sex burning for more touch, more movement—sending thousands of sensations building upon each other with each stroke.

I pulled Aris closer to me as a moan escaped my lips.

I eagerly began pulling and lifting his shirt higher and over his shoulders.

He reconnected his lips with mine.

Demanding more, he spread my lips until his tongue swept the entirety of my mouth.

Aris moved his mouth to my neck.

It was sensitive, sending tingling sensations down my chest.

My breasts were full and hard.

He moved his mouth lower and lower, reaching the loose part at the top of my dress. He moved his strong finger, stroking more of my outer sex with the other.

He let out a groan of pleasure, breathing heavily.

Aris pulled his head away, pulling his fingers from me.

We breathed deeply against each other.

“We should stop,”

he rasped as he stared into me.

I nodded.

I had no words to speak out loud to describe the feelings in my body and soul.

It was like my body had been waiting years for these moments, and I just didn’t realize it.

Looking into his eyes for what felt like the first time, they were as open as a mirror.

Beautiful and clear.

A perfect balance of light and darkness.