Chapter 3
Three
Julian sat in the drawing room, having an after-dinner drink with his guests.
Right now, he was becoming more acquainted with Lady Bernadette, her mother, and the widow, Lady Leon.
Both younger ladies were beautiful, but his mind was on the woman he’d spent time with this morning.
He couldn’t stop thinking about the shock and devastation on her face.
Nor the fury he felt at what his father had done.
“Do you think you will start to spend more time here, Lord Weston?” Lady Bernadette asked.
Lady Leon listened closely too. He suspected they both hoped to see where they would reside if they became his wife. “I spent most of my childhood here. I want to raise my kids at Pax Hall.”
“I love the countryside,” Lady Leon said, smiling. A lovely dimple sat on her left cheek. She also had two children in her short two-year marriage, making her very fertile.
Christ! Did her ability to have children really enhance her chance of becoming his bride? When had he become such a jaded man? The moment your father destroyed your chance at love, his mind mocked. Still, Julian couldn’t change the past.
No, he could only move forward, but his mother’s revelation had somehow thrown all his goals and plans into chaos. Now, Julian was no longer thinking about which lady would practically fit into his life but Sophia, whom he hadn’t seen in years.
“I love the countryside too,” Lady Bernadette added after a stern glare from her mother.
Lady Bernadette was only eighteen and still seemed so young to him.
He wasn’t sure she could be a consideration.
He tugged at his cravat and glanced around the room, feeling as if none of these ladies were an option.
Julian pondered what Sophia was doing. She was likely working tirelessly at her inn or caring for her children.
Sophia must have been so scared when she thought she was with child.
He wished that somehow, he had known. He would have been delighted.
Hell, even now, the thought of her round with his baby filled him with a primal excitement that wasn’t rational for how long they’d been apart.
Stop it. Sophia Benson was not an option for him.
Julian glanced around the room and spotted his sister reading a book at a small table. A break from the ladies he should be wooing was what he needed. “Excuse me, I need to speak with my sister.”
Both ladies fluttered their eyelashes at him. He forced himself to grin and then joined his sister. “You could pretend you are interested in the party.”
She put her book down. “No, someone might think I want to talk about the weather or some other boring topic.”
He chuckled, but it was forced. Diana knew him so well. She frowned. “What is it?”
“Mother revealed something shocking to me.”
Her frown faded, and her eyes danced excitedly. “Has she met someone on her travels?”
“No. Nothing like that.”
“What is it? You are worrying me,” she stated.
“When I was younger, I thought I’d marry Sophia. I just discovered that Father, while I was away on a business trip to London, told her that would never happen,” he confessed.
Diana flew to her feet, clearly wanting more information. She pulled him through the crowds of people and out onto the terrace. It was surprisingly empty.
“I saw you kissing her once, but then she married.”
Julian wouldn’t share all the details with Diana but said, “She was told something that prompted her to accept Thomas Benson’s proposal.”
Diana pressed her hands to her mouth, shocked. Eventually though, she grinned. “You must woo her and make her your marchioness.”
“We’ve lived different lives since we confessed our feelings to each other. She has children.”
Her sister asked, “Does that bother you?”
“Of course not.”
“Do you not love her anymore?” she questioned.
Julian had no idea. She was the woman he thought would be his for eternity, and then he’d lost her. It terrified him to feel anything for her again. “I don’t know.”
His sister sighed. “You must do what you believe is best, but I feel like it would be a shame if you didn’t at least get to know Sophia before you make your decision. Is there anyone here you are enamored with?”
There wasn’t. Honestly, he was too distracted by Sophia. What did that mean? He stared through the windows into the drawing room and didn’t see a single lady who held his attention as much as Sophia did.
“Maybe you are right.”
Theo shook his head at Sophia. “I can’t believe that the old Lord Weston did that. I mean, he was a real arse, but to intentionally destroy his son’s chance at true happiness is atrocious.”
Sophia sighed. “He was horrible when I spoke with him. I should have known he wouldn’t tell Julian, but I was too overcome with worry.”
Her brother nodded and took a sip of ale. “I wish I had traveled to London and confronted Julian.”
“It isn’t your fault. The truth is I was always uncertain about how realistic it was for us to wed. Marquesses don’t marry village girls.”
His brother shook his head. “Not often.”
Sadness filled Sophia’s chest, but she forced it out. She didn’t regret her life with Thomas and was glad she spent five years with him. “It turned out for the best.”
“Thomas was a good man, but it doesn’t mean what happened was right. Honestly, he would want you to pursue any chance of happiness you desire, even if it was with Julian.”
She laughed. “Julian and I are very different from each other. There is no chance of anything like that happening.”
Theo frowned at her. “Why not?”
His question was ridiculous. “Because I don’t have time for love. I’m an inn owner and mother.”
“Nothing you’ve said means you don’t deserve love.”
A knock at the private entrance of her living quarters startled them both. At the back of the inn was an area for her and the children with two bedrooms, a large kitchen, and a sitting room. Someone knocked on the kitchen door again. It was after nine in the evening. Who could it be?
Theo rose before she could and moved to the door. He opened it, and they were both shocked to see Julian. Theo said, “I suspected you would pop up.”
“I’ve come to talk to Sophia. I understand what you must think of me.”
Her brother held his hand up. “Sophia told me what happened. Your father is lucky he is dead, or I would put him in a grave.”
Julian's eyes flared with anger. “I would be joining you.”
Theo walked to Sophia and kissed her on the cheek. “I need to go. Love you, sister.”
She wasn’t sure she wanted Theo to leave. Was it wise for her and Julian to spend time together? He didn’t give her a chance to respond but walked to the door and passed Julian. As he exited, he scowled at the marquess who was here to see her. “Treat her right.”
“I understand,” Julian stated.
Then it was just the two of them. The kitchen became filled with a tension that was not altogether bad but also not good. She rose from the table. “Would you like some ale?”
He nodded, and she poured him a cup. Julian joined her at the table. Silence swirled around them until Sophia could take no more. “What are you doing here, Julian?”
“I needed to see you. You are all I can think about. I want us to get to know each other.”
Was he offering her some type of arrangement? She frowned. “I’m not looking for an interlude. I’m quite busy.”
He reached across the table and held her clenched hand. “I mean to court.”
Her eyes widened, and she took a large sip of her ale. He couldn’t be serious. He was a marquess, and she was an inn owner. Eventually, she said, “Julian, be sensible. What do we have in common?”
“We spent our entire childhoods running through the fields around Paxton Village and Pax Hall. You were my first kiss, my first everything. I always thought I would raise my children here with you.”
His words filled her with both joy and alarm.
Still, she couldn’t open her heart to this man.
She’d hated him for so long. He’d been the villain in her life for the last eight years.
Sophia decided to be honest. “You are different than the young man who left. I understand you didn’t know, and I hate that.
Honestly, it makes me furious, but you are part of the London set.
I have never even been to London. We are not the same people. ”
He released her hand and ran his fingers through his hair. “Still, there is something here. It makes me believe we have a second chance. Tell me you don’t feel it.”
She studied the man who haunted her dreams for years. The hum of desire swirled and became heightened as they considered each other. “Just give me a chance,” he pleaded.
“On the condition you still consider the ladies at your estate party.”
A flash of annoyance streaked across his face, and Sophia stated, “You must. Losing you was difficult, but having you with any regrets on your part would be worse.”
Julian rose. “I will do whatever you ask of me. Can I take you and your children on a picnic tomorrow?”
“Don’t you need to tend to your guest?”
“I will spend my evenings at Pax Hall with them. Please, Sophia. I want to learn about you and your family,” he pleaded
She nodded, and he said, “I won’t rush you. I promise. If we need to wait a year to marry, then so be it. Still, know you are the woman I want.”
“Please consider the other ladies. You and I are both hurting because of what we just learned. We can’t allow it to make us behave irrationally.”
He grasped her hand and dropped a gentle kiss on the top of it. “I think you’ve always made me irrational, but isn’t that what love does?”
She warmed at his touch and words. Julian grinned at her wickedly and departed. Sophia took another sip of her ale. Excitement intermingled with desire skittered across her skin. Did she and Julian really have another chance?