Chapter 63
LIAM
After I’d finished the last bite of my absolutely awesome bacon and cheese omelet, a representative from the company we’d hired to run the retreat walked out onto the deck. The guy was dressed in a company brand T-shirt, shorts, and a pair of white sneakers.
“The first activity will be starting soon.” He brought his palms together and smiled. “Please ensure that you’re dressed comfortably in athletic wear. We’ll meet you in the lobby in fifteen minutes.”
A raucous cheer went up around the table and I laughed, loving the energy our team was bringing this morning. It was still pretty early and birds were chirping. The air around us was warm but not hot just yet. A stream flowed beside the shady deck.
All the plates on the expansive wooden table had been cleared, too. If it hadn’t been for everything going on between me and London right now, I really would’ve been enjoying myself.
London and I were going to be team leaders all weekend despite the external representatives running the show, but we’d be participating too. A week ago, I would have been bursting at the seams to beat her but not now.
Weirdly, I kind of wished she wasn’t even there right then. I’d never wished anything of the sort before, but as everyone downed their coffee and raced to get more before the activity began, I really would’ve been enjoying it more if London Walker hadn’t been part of this.
It was cruel and unusual punishment, this whole having to keep her at arm’s length thing. I needed to do it for the sake of my sanity, but shit. I missed my friend and she was right there, at the opposite end of the table. And yet, I had to act like she wasn’t.
London had chosen a gray T-shirt with the words “I don’t need therapy, I just need nature” emblazoned across her chest, a pine tree artfully protruding between the script.
She’d knotted the shirt at one side of her ribs.
Her denim cut-off shorts reached mid-thigh and hugged her ass like a koala bear.
Her long blonde hair was tied into a smooth, silky bun on top of her head, her sunglasses currently perched right in front of it.
She’d chosen to forego any makeup except for eyeliner and mascara, and as she laughed with our assistant, Nina, she looked so beautifully happy and carefree that my heart twisted.
London was capable of being happy without me. That was the long and the short of it. Meanwhile, I felt like I was dying inside, a fact that I happily managed to keep hidden from one of our web developers, Sammy, who was sitting immediately to my left.
“Any clues about our first activity?” he asked, leaning slightly toward me. “I just want to know if I should change my shoes.”
He lifted a foot out from underneath the table to show me a pair of sandals like my grandfather had worn and I laughed. “I have no idea what our activity is. That’s part of the fun, but I’d change my shoes and then I’d donate those to the nearest old folk’s home.”
He wrinkled his nose at me and chuckled, studying the heavy-duty fabric straps over his feet like he wasn’t sure he trusted them. “These things are comfortable and sturdy. Totally worth the price.”
“Yeah, in 1987,” I teased. “Seriously, bro. Go change them and meet us in the lobby. I wouldn’t want you hurting yourself in your hippie shoes.”
“But I feel so free in them.” He wiggled his toes and laughed. “But alright. If you’re sure. But I’m not donating them. My grandma got them for me. They’re good for your bones.”
“No doubt. Only a grandma would buy something like that, but I have no idea if they’re good for your bones.”
He flipped me off with a chuckle and then disappeared into the lodge. London and Nina had gotten up too, refilling their mugs before they left to the lobby together. Lulu, our social media gal, pushed some pink hair off her forehead and turned to me.
“You coming, boss man? You seem to need a minute there.”
I smiled and waved her off. “Just taking in the beauty of the morning. It’s a real paradise, this place. I figured I might take a moment to enjoy it.”
As if she could see there was more to it than that, she squinted a little, then shook her head and left, proving again why she was so good at her job. The girl was intuitive to a fault. It was like she had a crystal ball into the future to see what might trend tomorrow and how to frame stuff.
Lulu and her pink hair vanished into the cabin and some of the others trickled after her. By the time we were all gathered for the day’s challenge, the caffeine had been flowing and the energy was high.
All around me, people were clapping and bouncing on the balls of their feet like we were at the starting line of a race rather than the lobby of an expensive lodge.
London had her polished, upbeat face on, smiling, laughing, and charming our coworkers like she hadn’t emotionally set me on fire less than twenty-four hours ago.
I played my part too, because apparently, professionalism was our new love language.
I still couldn’t believe what I’d heard from her yesterday, though.
Did she honestly think that all of this was only because she’d kissed some guy’s cheek?
Was it possible that she was so oblivious all the way up there from the tower of her fairytale castle that she couldn’t comprehend where this was coming from?
Knowing her as well as I did, it was a toss-up. London wasn’t stupid by any means. She was one of the most intelligent people I’d ever met actually. Book smart as well as practical, she had it all, and yet, emotionally, she seemed to have hit an iceberg.
Or something.
I just refused to let myself think too much about what that something was.
“Now that everybody is here,” the de facto Coach for the day said as Sammy reappeared.
He was wearing bright orange sneakers now, but hey.
At least it wasn’t those sandals. “Our first challenge is a trust hike. Pairs will get blindfolded and led through a marked path in the woods. Your objective is to get your partner safely through those woods and to the finish line we’ve set up. ”
I groaned, already knowing what was coming my way. Fate being the petty little gremlin that she was, I ended up partnered with London, who didn’t even flinch when our names were read out.
“Perfect,” I muttered under my breath, then speared a look at her. “You’re being blindfolded first.”
She shrugged. “Bring it on, partner. I’m not scared.”
And of course she wouldn’t be because I would never let her fall. I’d never let her get hurt and I’d sure as hell never do it intentionally. That was the fucking difference between us.
Aggravation coursed through me, but I led her through the trees, hands hovering around her shoulders, not touching her, but ready. Always ready. I realized that was really a very good metaphor for our relationship.
I’d always been ready and now I was just… done. I still needed to convince my heart of that, but my brain was ready.
“You doing okay?” I asked tightly after she stumbled a little on a root. The heat was stifling in here, the air thick.
“Fine,” she bit out. “It’s hard to fall when I’ve got you hovering like a helicopter parent.”
I snorted. “Just making sure you don’t trip and blame me for a broken ankle and your emotional damage.”
“Wow. That’s rich coming from you,” she fired back.
We fell into silence again, the air even thicker now than the humidity around us. I kept my hands where they were, though, an instinctive drive to keep her safe preventing me from walking away as we kept traversing the woods.
She tripped suddenly, for real this time, and I caught her around the waist without thinking. Her hands smacked into my chest and we both froze. My heart was pounding. I might’ve seen that root if I’d just kept my damn eyes on the ground instead of her blindfolded face. The fact ate me up inside.
Her chin tilted up under the mottled sunlight dappling the forest floor, her blindfold still in place and her lips parted like she might say something real. As soon as I had the thought, I let go of her before she could shove me away or come up with some stinging retort.
I didn’t need more of that crap.
London bit her tongue and we made it to the finish line, apparently first, but neither of us celebrated our victory. She just whipped off the blindfold and handed it over to me. I took it from her and jammed it over my face, grimacing when I realized she was probably going to let me fall.
A miracle occurred, though. London guided me quietly but steadily. Her hand brushed mine whenever she had to help me over a tree root or a steep incline.
For one fleeting second, it even felt like we were still an us, but then she let go once we reached the bottom of the incline and I knew how she had felt when I’d done it.
Both of us focused on the task, not saying anything that wasn’t related to getting the other to the finish line safely.
When I crossed it too, we handed the blindfold back to the excited facilitator without a word.
He had a huge grin on his face. “Congratulations, leaders. It looks like you’re not just faking it until you make it, huh? That was some real solid teamwork and trust out there. Good job.”
London nodded and put her hands to her hips, turning and bending over like she was trying to catch her breath. She hadn’t sounded winded to me, but I forced a smile as I extended my hand to his.
“Thanks, dude. We appreciate all your help this weekend. We’re all in on every activity you throw our way.”
He chuckled and shook with me. “As it should be. If only all our corporate big shots were as committed.”
If only, I thought. Honestly though, at this point, I wasn’t sure what was worse. Fighting with London or pretending like nothing is broken. Right now, both suck, especially because we’re committed to our jobs, but we’re definitely not committed to each other at all.