Chapter 20 #3
I shake my head. “I’ve grown so impatient, and I know that isn’t fair to him, especially since he has trouble communicating now.”
His thumb skims along my cheekbone, grounding me with the light touch. The energy around us grows quickly the longer I stay planted here in his lap. Should I move? Because I really don’t want to. If anything, I want to draw closer to him.
“I can’t imagine how hard this must be for you. What you went through when you were younger couldn’t have been easy. But I know it’ll all work out in the end.”
My brows furrow together. “How do you know that?”
“Because, with God, all things are possible.”
A surge of electricity travels from his heart to mine, so surely that I can feel it.
“All things?”
It’s a simple reply. One that holds more weight than I meant for it to. All things, as in whatever this is between Zane and me. Unspoken things we’ve both been too afraid of saying out loud and have been awaiting their answer.
The muscles along his jaw leap as he considers what to say. He’s never been one to blurt something without weighting it first. It’s one of the many things I admire about him.
“Yes.” His Adam’s apple moves as he swallows. “All things.”
His words feel like a promise, one that I tuck away into my heart. My hand is resting on his neck, the urge to plunge my fingers into his hair growing with every passing breath. My fingers twitch, itching to make the move, but I’m not daring enough.
“Thank you,” I say softly, breaking the silence. “For being here for me.”
“I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.”
Zane’s eyes drop to my lips for a split second before they bounce up to mine again. He’s silently asking permission, and I’m almost positive he’s thinking the same thing as me: if it’s okay to come closer. And I want him to.
I nod, acknowledging his unspoken question.
My heart stutters as Zane leans in, closing the distance slowly, as if giving me time to change my mind.
I finally give in to my desire and glide my hand up his neck and into his hair, feeling the smooth strands fall through my fingers.
My other hand drifts down past his shoulders, landing on his chest, where his heartbeat thunders as loudly as mine.
My eyes close as he erases the last inch between us. His lips finally meet mine in a gentle brush, as if not wanting to rush through this moment. It takes everything in me to keep my composure, because I’m ready to be consumed by him.
We’re careful with each other at first as our lips continue their slow exploration, and then I gasp when he deepens the kiss.
I part my mouth instinctively, welcoming him.
His hands move from my face to my lower back as he pulls me toward him.
I want to stay right here where everything feels safe, but he breaks the kiss, pulling away quickly, as if the moment startled him.
Zane’s face is twisted with worry, his jaw clenching as he wrestles with something internally, and I wait for him to speak until I can’t handle it anymore.
“Zane?” I ask softly. “Is…everything okay?”
He doesn’t answer right away. Instead, he drags a hand through his hair and exhales. When his eyes finally meet mine, I’m relieved to see that there’s no regret there, only intensity and possibly fear.
“Yes.” His voice is rough. Then, he shakes his head once before correcting himself.
“I mean, yeah. Everything’s okay.” He pauses, his gaze searching my face.
“I’ve wanted to kiss you for a while now.
Longer than I probably should’ve.” His mouth curves in a small, almost self-conscious smile.
“And that was…everything I imagined—more, actually.”
My shoulders drop, and I relax at his admission.
“I just didn’t want to rush you,” he continues. “Or cross a line when you’re feeling vulnerable. I also don’t want to complicate things between us. Our friendship matters to me.”
I reach for his hand, threading my fingers through his, hoping the simple touch can help ground him the same way he’s always done for me.
“Trust me, you didn’t overstep,” I tell him gently. “I wanted to kiss you too. And we don’t need to have all the answers right now.”
His shoulders ease a fraction. The breath he lets out is slow and unsteady. His eyes find mine and stay there, like he’s checking to make sure I mean it. Then the corner of his mouth lifts just enough to tell me he does.
“We can just…be here. Together. And see where God takes us,” I add, taken aback by my own words and how much easier it’s become for me lately to learn to trust God.
“I’d really like that.” The start of a smile tugs at his lips before his brow creases. “Hey. You didn’t eat dinner, did you?”
I shake my head. “No. I didn’t.”
“Well,” he says as I slide off his lap so he can stand, and I see a familiar spark of mischief in his eyes, “I make the best peanut butter and jelly sandwich you’ll ever taste.”
I take his hand, smiling despite myself. “That’s a bold claim.”
“Just you wait, Max. I’m about to blow your mind.”
What he doesn’t know is that he already has.