11. Candice #2
My sentiments exactly. My mum has given up so much to raise me, then Maddie.
She still models occasionally, but only takes local jobs so she’s around for us.
She doesn’t do it for the money, we have more than enough of that thanks to my father, but she loves what she does.
The rest of her time is spent caring for us.
She never dates or goes out with her friends.
I can’t help but feel guilty for everything she’s sacrificed for us.
The least I can do is live life for both of us.
“I will. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
After entering Carter’s address into my GPS, I drive the forty minutes to his house. The closer I get, the sicker I feel. What was I thinking? This isn’t even a date, it’s more like a booty call. Talk about jumping in head first, or should I say vagina first?
When I turn into his street, I pull over to the kerb and take a few deep breaths. Carter asked me to call him when I was close. God only knows why. I hope it’s not so he can sharpen the knives he’s going to use to hack me into little pieces. Jesus, why did I let my mind go there?
I grab my phone and dial his number.
“Hey,” he says when he answers.
“Hey. I’ve just pulled into your street. I’ll be there in a few minutes.”
“Okay. Don’t knock on the front door, just come down the side of the house.”
That instantly makes me wary. “Why can’t I knock on the front door?”
“Because I live with my mum and her fuckwit of a husband. My bedroom is towards the back of the house. The one with the light on. I’ll wait for you by the window.”
Great, he still lives with his parents. I can’t hold it against him I suppose—I still live with my mum.
In a way, it’s a plus. If he tries to kill me, I can always scream out for help.
I’m pretty sure he’s not that type of person, but you never know.
I consider texting Carter’s address to Jax, just in case I don’t turn up at work tomorrow, but I can’t do that.
When my phone dings, I jump. I’m surprised to see it’s a message from Jax. Did he just read my mind? This connection we sometimes have is freaky.
Jax: I’m not going to tell you to have fun tonight because I just can’t bring myself to say those words. But be careful, and if you need me just call. I mean it, Candice.
Considering what happened this afternoon, I’m touched he cared enough about me to text.
Me: Thank you. I hope you have a good night. Enjoy your day off tomorrow. x
Butterflies churn in my stomach as I walk down the side of Carter’s house.
I’m not even sure if I can go through with this, but I’m going to give it my best shot.
I jump and clutch my chest when I hear a loud bark from a dog, coming from behind the fence next door.
I relax a little when I see Carter’s handsome face leaning out a window and smiling down at me.
He’s gorgeous. His hair and eyes are brown, just like Jax’s, but sadly there’s one major difference—he’s not Jax.
Without speaking, he effortlessly lifts me off my feet and hauls me into his bedroom.
Once he places me back on my feet, I adjust my top. “You didn’t tell me you still lived at home with your parents. How old are you anyway?”
“I’ll be turning eighteen soon.”
I tilt my head back and groan. “You’re still a kid.”
That would make him four years younger than me—a baby.
Great, I’m a damn cradle snatcher. I should’ve asked him how old he was before coming here.
I just presumed he was older. He certainly doesn’t look seventeen.
I was around his age the first time Jax and I got together.
I’ll die if he’s a virgin. I’ve only been with one man, and that was Jax, so I’m not what you’d consider an expert in the sex department. This could get awkward.
“I’m not a fucking kid,” he snaps.
Well, technically, he’s not an adult either. My common sense tells me to turn around and go back to the car, but I came here for a reason; to move on.
“You look older.”
“Are we going to do this or not?”
Wow. Talk about getting straight to the point. I know that’s why he invited me over, and I wasn’t expecting a candlelit dinner or anything, but he could at least offer me a drink or something.
I take a deep breath as I try to psych myself up. I need to jump in before I talk myself out of it, it’s the only way. Stepping forward, I wrap my arms around his waist.
“Calm down,” I say, pressing my body against his. “I didn’t say there was a problem with it. I’m just surprised, that’s all.”
Closing my eyes, I get up on the tip of my toes and kiss his neck. God, he smells good. Not as good as Jax does, though; his scent is my drug. Trailing kisses across Carter’s strong jawline until my lips eventually meet his.
Groaning into my mouth, Carter wraps his arms around my waist, drawing me closer. He can kiss, I’ll give him that, but surprisingly I feel nothing. Not a damn thing.
Letting go of Jax is going to be harder than I thought.
Pulling back suddenly, Carter’s troubled eyes look down at me. “I’m sorry, I can’t do this,” he mutters.
“What?”
He gazes out the window, looking at the house next door. Releasing his hold on me, he takes a step backwards before moving across the room to sit on the edge of his bed. He buries his face in his hands before saying, “It’s not you.”
Isn’t that what they all say: It’s not you, it’s me ? Great. I’m still reeling from the sting of Jax’s rejection, now I have this to contend with. What is wrong with these people? Better still, what is wrong with me ?
“Then why can’t you do this?” I ask, sitting beside him. I need to know. I’ve never had the guts to ask Jax why he doesn’t want me. This time, I’m not leaving here until I get answers. He remains silent as he stares down at the floor. “Please, Carter. I need to know.”
He blows out an exasperated breath before making eye contact with me. “I think I’m in love with the girl next door,” he admits.
A smile tugs at my lips. I’m relieved to hear it’s not me, and I think his confession is kind of sweet. “When I was kissing you, I looked over there and she was watching us—I’m sorry. Calling you and asking you to come here was a mistake. I only did it to spite her.”
“It’s okay,” I say, placing my hand on his leg. It’s kind of ironic—I only came here to spite Jax.
He scrubs his hands over his face. “She messes with my head.”
I can relate to that because Jax does the same to me. “Does she know how you feel?”
He shrugs. “I don’t think so. I’ve been trying to fight it. We have a love-hate relationship thing going on. I’m constantly doing things to push her away, but she continues to worm right back under my skin. She’s relentless.”
“It sounds like she likes you too. You should go for it.”
“She deserves better than me.”
“That’s pretty harsh. You seem like a nice enough guy.”
He chuckles at my comment. “That’s because you don’t know me … I’m a bastard.”
It’s obvious that Carter doesn’t have a high opinion of himself, but from the little I know, he’s not a bastard.
We spend the next hour talking about Indiana, the girl next door.
It’s funny, his situation reminds me a lot of my own.
I admire him for not going through with tonight.
Not many guys would’ve knocked back no-strings-attached sex.
Probably not even Jax. That speaks volumes about Carter’s character.
Especially considering Indiana isn’t even his girlfriend.
When I finally leave, I feel a huge sense of relief. Tonight I made a connection with Carter and not the type I thought I was going to make. Coming here may not have helped me move on from Jax, but at the very least, I feel like I’ve made a new friend.