16. Kate
Kate felt calm.
Weirdlycalm considering the events of the day. Was it because of Elias’ reaction to the baby? She hadn’t expected him to be so understanding. And so willing to consider the possibility of having a child with her.
She still had a mountain of information to process, but with it being late, she thought any further thinking should wait until the next day.
She fell into bed, immediately succumbing to sleep.
And when she awoke again, she still felt unusually optimistic. Something had to be wrong with her.
Maybe a visit to her sister’s would give her a good dose of reality.
She didn’t want to tell her parents anything yet—they’d just be disappointed if she decided not to go ahead with the pregnancy—but her sister Georgia would be fine either way. They told each other everything. Kate wished they’d be able to spend more time together just the two of them, but it was virtually impossible since Georgia had four children under the age of nine.
Kate drove to her sister’s house in Ashgrove and let herself in. The place was chaos—as usual. The hall was strewn with toys, and the living room had a pile of clothes on the couch. The coffee table was covered in empty bowls and leftover packaging from toddler snacks.
Georgia was crammed on the couch beside the washing, and she was breastfeeding Amiri, her youngest daughter.
‘Hey,’ Kate said, sitting on the floor in front of her.
‘Hey.’
‘How are you? You look surprisingly awake.’
‘I don’t know why. I had a grand total of three hours’ sleep last night.’
Kate nodded at Amiri. ‘This little one still not sleeping through?’
‘Nope. The three others didn’t settle down until two years, so I have about fifteen months left.’ She chuckled. ‘I’m counting the days.’
‘Unless you have another child.’
Georgia grunted. ‘Nope. Not happening. Lucas is getting the snip next week. Neither of us want another surprise.’ She patted Amiri’s head. ‘Even though you’re gorgeous, and I wouldn’t give you back, we cannot afford another one of you.’
Kate checked the time. It was only 8am. ‘Has Lucas already left for work?’
‘Yup. I swear he’s been leaving earlier and getting home later these days.’
Kate wished she could offer more help, but her work hours were erratic. She was back at the hospital now, but she’d been able to spend some decent time with Georgia and the kids during her month off. It had been nice, if not a little hectic. But Kate saw it as a good sign that it didn’t turn her off still wanting a child.
‘So, I kind of have some news.’
‘You’re on the hyperstimulation medication? How are you feeling?’
‘Uh, actually, there was no need for hyperstimulation.’
Georgia furrowed her brow. ‘What does that mean?’
‘It means…’ She inhaled deeply. ‘I was already pregnant.’
She stared at Kate. ‘Wait. What? How?’
Kate did share everything with her sister… except for the fact that she slept with Elias. She had told her about the dinner after the gallery exhibition, but she hadn’t mentioned that she went back to Elias’ place after that. Or that he’d given her a bracelet. It just felt like something she wanted to keep for herself. And Georgia knew how carefully Kate had been planning the IVF. She didn’t want her sister to be disappointed by her lack of discipline if she found out she jeopardised the process.
Which was too difficult to hide now.
‘You know that gallery thing I went to?’
‘Hang on. You didn’t sleep with Levi, did you? Didn’t you tell me he had a partner?’
‘No, no. It wasn’t Levi.’ She paused. ‘It was his younger brother, Elias.’
‘The artist?’
She nodded.
‘Oh my God.’
‘I know.’
‘Wow.’
‘My feelings exactly.’
‘What are you going to do?’
‘I don’t know. Can you tell me?’
Georgia laughed. ‘I obviously can’t make that decision for you. Besides, you’ve always been the sensible one in our family. I’m sure you’ve made an extensive pros and cons list.’
‘Sort of, but not really. I only found yesterday. And when I told Elias?—’
‘He already knows too?’
‘Yes. When I told him, he actually seemed like he might be into the idea. Which freaked me out a little. I’d obviously been prepared to have the child on my own, and I don’t know how much he’d want to be involved.’
‘Is he cute?’
‘That’s what you think is important?’
‘It matters a bit. Is he cuter than Hugo?’
‘A million times cuter than Hugo.’ Kate wasn’t sure if that was objectively true, but she’d never been attracted to Hugo that way, so while she could appreciate he was decent-looking, he didn’t make her feel the same way Elias did when she saw him. That man was better than cute. He was hot.
‘Do you still want a baby?’
‘I do.’
‘So I guess all you have to figure out is whether the level of involvement Elias wants is the same amount you want.’
‘You make it sound so simple.’
‘I mean, it’s not. Nothing about babies is simple. There are actually thousands of things you can’t anticipate. Like if Elias is involved, how will you define your relationship? What about the rest of his family? What about introducing him to Mum and Dad? And when you vetted Hugo, didn’t you check if there were any hereditary issues?’
Kate dragged her hands down her face. ‘Ugh. I wish you had just stopped at the cute question.’
‘Those aren’t even scratching the surface. But we could talk about potential minefields forever. Even a smoothly executed pregnancy isn’t smooth in the conventional sense. As soon as another life is involved, everything is uncertain pretty much permanently.’
‘The truth finally comes out.’
‘I have never hidden the difficulties of parenting from you. You were there for two of the births, so you saw what they were like. And you can see just by looking around my house how not in control everything is, even nine months after the birth of my fourth child.’
Kate sighed. ‘You’re right. And I wasn’t put off by any of it. So it really does just come down to how much Elias wants to be involved, and if I’m okay with that.’
‘Have you made a time to talk to him again?’
‘I said I’d give him a week. I didn’t want to put too much pressure on him.’
‘A week should give you a chance to adjust to the news too and get your head around what you’re willing to accept. But now I have a very important question for you.’
Kate looked at her warily. ‘What?’
‘How was he in bed?’
Kate laughed. ‘Georgia!’
‘I’m just curious. You never hook up with anyone, and I’m barely awake when I’m in bed with Lucas these days, so it’s not exactly the wall-banging fantasy of our youth. I need to live vicariously through you.’
‘Well, you’re not getting any details. It would be weird for you to know what my baby’s father is like in bed.’
‘I can’t decide if you’re not answering because it was bad, or really, really good.’
‘The latter, okay? And that’s all I’m going to say.’ She nodded at the washing. ‘Is this clean?’
Georgia picked up a T-shirt from the top of the pile and sniffed it. ‘It appears so.’
‘Then let me help you sort everything and put it away. Anything else you need while I’m here?’
‘Can you breastfeed for me? That’d be a huge help.’
Kate shook her head playfully. ‘I don’t think I’d be able to assist with that for about eight months. And even then, that milk is reserved. Sorry.’
‘In that case, you can just pick up all the toys in the hall.’
‘I can go to the shops if you need any supplies?’
Georgia rubbed Kate’s shoulder in appreciation. ‘You know what? Regardless of what happens with Elias, I know you’re going to be an awesome mother. You’re already an awesome aunt. And it will be lovely for the kids to have a cousin.’
‘Aw, thanks, sis. You’re doing a pretty good job too.’
Kate started sorting the washing by item type. Her sister probably didn’t realise how important it was for her to hear that reassurance just now.
She really did hope she’d be a good mother.