Chapter 28 #2
I walked back towards him, tried to take his hand, but he was having none of it.
How could I blame him? ‘I’m going now,’ I said in tears, ‘but we obviously need to talk about this again soon. If both you and Theo want nothing more to do with me and this baby, then I’ll just have to live with that. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…’
I tried once more to take Michael’s hand, but he’d already turned away from me.
‘And you’re questioning why Michael was so angry?’ Gemma stared at me across the desk. ‘You’ve been sleeping with your ex at the same time as with him? You get yourself pregnant…?’
‘One doesn’t get oneself pregnant,’ I snapped, feeling the start of a headache over my eyes.
‘Well, no, there appears to be three of you involved here.’
‘Stop being so bloody sanctimonious, Gemma. You’re not my mother.’
‘No, Anna, I’m just concerned. For you. I didn’t think you ever even wanted children?’
‘It’s not something I’ve given much thought to,’ I lied.
‘Oh, come on, no woman gets to the age of forty without thinking: will I have children? It’s one of the biggest decisions we have to make, even if it’s coming firmly down on not having them.’
‘Gemma, I need someone to talk to, not be given a telling off.’
‘Yes, and Anna’ – her voice softened – ‘you know I’ll always be here for you. But don’t you think you should be talking to Theo? As well as to Michael again, now that he’s calmed down?’
‘I’m not sure he has calmed down.’
‘Put yourself in Michael’s place. Reverse the scenario.’ Gemma frowned. ‘Hang on, someone’s in reception and Claudia’s gone off to get more Penguins. I’ll be back. Don’t go anywhere.’
Two minutes later she was back. ‘Ms Piasecki,’ she said formally, before pulling a wide-eyed scary face at me as a man stood in the doorway.
‘There’s a Mr Mandeville to see you. I’m afraid he doesn’t have an appointment.
Are you free to see him?’ She now attempted a sort of swoon, mouthing, fuck me, he’s bloody gorgeous before turning back and addressing Theo.
‘Ms Piasecki is able to see you now. Can I get you a coffee?’
‘Thank you, that would be lovely. Black, please, if I may?’
‘Penguin?’
‘Sorry?’ Theo turned back to Gemma. ‘Oh, right. I see. No, just coffee, please.’
‘Thank you, Gemma,’ I said, indicating with a glare as well as a motion of my head that she should bugger off.
As soon as the door closed on her, I stood. ‘Theo, what are you doing here? You should be with Angus.’
‘He’s off the danger list, thank goodness. Anna, I had to see you. I need to be with you. I have to be able to tell Honor that I’m moving out.’
‘Listen, Theo, there’s something…’
‘What, what is it?’
‘I’m…’ I broke off as Gemma came back in with Theo’s coffee. She gave me a questioning, eyebrows-raised look and mouthed tell him before retreating once more.
‘I’m pregnant, Theo.’
‘Oh! Right. Right.’ He stared at me. ‘That’s come as a bit of a shock.
’ He shook his head slightly as if to clear it and, although he looked tired, worn out with the days spent at his son’s bedside, he looked utterly beautiful in my eyes.
He was in chinos and his usual navy sweater but had a navy woollen scarf tied at the neck, despite it being May.
As he spoke, he untied the scarf. ‘Rather warm in here,’ he said.
‘And, Theo, look, I honestly don’t know if it’s Michael’s or if it’s yours.’
‘Goodness.’ He stared at me for a long while. ‘Anna, are you happy to be pregnant? Is it something you want?’
‘I didn’t think it was. But now I am, now that I find myself in this situation, I’m praying that it will go full term. I mean, at my age… you know… anything can happen.’
‘But you must know, Anna? Is it mine or is it his?’
‘I don’t know. In all honesty I don’t know.’
‘You were sleeping with both of us?’
‘Theo, I was in a perfectly normal and… and… healthy relationship with Michael until you came back into my life. Please don’t censure me for that.’
‘No, no, of course not. Well, that obviously speeds up our plans somewhat.’
‘But Theo, what if the baby’s not yours?’
‘But the baby will be yours, Anna. And, because it’s yours, I’ll love it just as much as if it were mine.’
‘Theo, it probably, more than likely, is yours. I mean we were at it hammer and tongs for a week.’
He winced slightly at that but said nothing further.
‘Oh, goodness, Theo, I just don’t know…’ I broke off as Gemma reappeared at the door, knocking at the same time as she opened it.
‘Ms Piasecki, your next appointment,’ she said over Theo’s head, her now all-too-familiar scary face to the fore while mouthing, It’s Michael! I’ve told him you’re with a client…
‘Thank you, Gemma, please tell them I won’t be long.’ I pretended to scan my diary. ‘They are a little early. Theo, I have an appointment, I’m sorry.’
‘Anna, this is important, for heaven’s sake.’
‘Look,’ I admitted. ‘It’s not a client. It’s Michael.’ I gazed around somewhat wildly before standing.
‘Anna, I’m not hiding under the bed or in the wardrobe.’
‘It’s an office. Look, Theo, when I told Michael the truth last night, he was more than angry.’
‘I don’t blame him,’ Theo said somewhat mildly. ‘As both you and I would be in his place.’
‘I just don’t want any fighting.’
‘Fighting?’ Theo pulled his own scary face. ‘Look, we need to talk about this together, the three of us.’
‘Not on your life! And then Michael goes back to the Commons, gets into conversation with someone – even your brother-in-law – and the next thing it’s all over the front page of the Express?
I don’t think so! Theo, I defend women who’ve been in abusive relationships.
The press would have a field day if there’s carryings on here in my own office, given my relationship with Michael.
’ I glanced nervously at the office door.
‘Carryings on?’ Theo gave a little smile at that. ‘Very Yorkshire.’
‘Yes, well, if you’d forgotten, I am from Yorkshire.’
‘As am I, and proud of it.’ Theo took me in his arms, and it was utter heaven to be there.
‘Listen, Anna, Angus is so much better, totally out of danger now, thank goodness. Honor is still with him and then we’re taking him back home once the hospital say it’s OK.
I’ll be at the Holland Park house this evening and then going back to the hospital to fetch him and Honor and driving them home. ’
‘You see – home!’ I air-quoted the words. ‘You’re taking Angus home where he belongs. With the pair of you. It’s your home, Theo. Your family.’
‘And you’re having my baby, Anna.’
‘Not necessarily.’
He flinched at that and I moved over to him where he took my hand, unwilling to let it go.
‘Please go,’ I said. ‘You can leave through the other door here.’ I returned to my desk, rifled through the drawer and went to unlock the door which led out onto the tiny scrubby patch of garden and exit on to the road. ‘Just… please… I need to sort it…’
‘Anna, we need to sort it. I love you. You know that.’
‘I know.’
Theo kissed my forehead and left.