Chapter 49
HOOKED, BUT LET GO
WILL
After the long weekend in Lake Arrowhead, I felt a strange sense of peace.
I wasn’t over Natalie—not by any means—but being at the lake gave me something I hadn’t realized I needed, appreciation for what I do have.
Surrounded by my kids, Evan, my sister, and even her boyfriend, I found moments of gratitude that dulled the ache of losing Natalie.
Fishing with my boys one morning was another highlight.
Carter, with his boundless energy and sharp wit, kept ribbing Chase, who retaliated with his usual dry humor.
It was the kind of sibling banter that made me smile because it was so pure, simple, and real.
They reminded me how lucky I was to have kids who cared about each other, even when they pretended not to.
Ivy was a little ball of sunshine all weekend, leaving a sparkle wherever she went. Whether she was collecting wildflowers or skipping rocks by the lake, her smile was contagious.
Madison, on the other hand, was predictably glued to her phone, spending most of her time taking selfies and texting her friends.
I suspected she was texting a boyfriend, which bothered me.
Still, we were miles away from her usual scene, so I let it slide.
Despite my worries, she didn’t seem to hate me for the weekend, which I counted as a win.
With Madison, the absence of outright disdain was as good as it got these days.
In the quieter moments, I couldn’t help but think about Natalie.
I wondered how she was doing, if she had come clean with Jason, or if she was planning to bury it all and push forward.
Deep down, I doubted she’d brush it under the rug.
She didn’t seem like someone who could carry that kind of guilt.
Thinking about her only brought more questions, questions I didn’t have answers to.
I didn’t even know if I’d see her again.
The school year was almost over, with just few days left.
Kelly and I had agreed to both be there on the last day, a united front for the kids.
I hated the thought of running into Natalie. I hated even more that I secretly hoped I would.
And then, of course, there was the memory of her, the way she looked, the way she felt, the way she made me feel. I tried to shove it away, but my mind went back to the night on the counter, her bare skin against mine.
“Shit,” I muttered to myself, running a hand through my hair. “I need to get her out of my thoughts.” I shook my head, scolding myself. I needed to get a grip. This wasn’t helping.
When we returned home from the lake, the weight of reality settled back over me. As I unpacked the car with the boys, the house seemed to mock me. Everywhere I looked, there were reminders of Natalie.
Was I going to have to move to escape her ghost?
I forced myself to focus on the mundane.
I placed an Instacart order for groceries, scheduled the kids’ hot lunches for school, and Door Dashed dinner.
The house buzzed with quiet energy as everyone did their own thing after dinner, except Ivy, who wanted to watch The Little Mermaid with me.
Her eyes lit up when I agreed, and we curled up on the couch together.
She fell asleep about thirty minutes in with her head resting on my arm.
I carried her to her room, kissed her sun-kissed face, and tucked her in, marveling at how peaceful she looked.
Afterward, I called to the boys, “Lights out in thirty!”
I heard their muffled, “Okay, Dad!” in response.
Before heading to bed myself, I decided to check on Madison. I knocked lightly before entering her room, finding her sprawled on her bed with her phone in her hand and her headphones in ears.
“Hey,” I said, leaning against the doorframe. “Forty-five minutes, okay? Then lights out.”
She looked up, hesitating. “Dad, wait.”
“What’s up, kiddo?” I asked, stepping further into the room.
Her expression was serious, brows pinched just enough to tell me she’d been overthinking something. “You seemed happier a few weeks ago.”
The question took me by surprise.”What do you mean?
” She shrugged, picking at the seam of her blanket.
“I don’t know. You were whistling in the kitchen.
You made pancakes with chocolate chips on a school day.
” She looked up. “Now you’re just…not like that.
” I sat down on the edge of her bed, “You notice everything, don’t you? ”
She shrugged again but didn’t look away.
“Things just change sometimes,” I said gently.
“I am just still figuring things out. But, my love for you and your siblings is constant. I will make more pancakes with chocolate chips for you.” I winked at her.
She gave me a slight smile and nodded like she got it, at least the pieces she needed to.
“Okay. I am going to get back to homework.”
“Okay kiddo, love you. Don't stay up too late.
“I won’t,” she replied, already putting her headphones back on.
As I left her room, the weight of her question lingered.
My kids could sense my hurt. I needed to be stronger for them.
With summer approaching, I told myself it would be easier to move on.
Natalie wouldn’t be at school drop-offs anymore.
I wouldn’t see her in the parking lot or at events.
I just had to get through the next few days.
Distraction was my best option, and an unexpected email provided just that. Lori, an old colleague, reached out about a major project, a city center in Laguna Hills. They also needed someone with fresh ideas to make it chic yet charming, blending equestrian themes with coastal vibes.
Lori’s words immediately made me think of Natalie. She’d be perfect for this, but was this just my way of trying to stay connected to her? I told myself it wasn’t. If she got the job, we likely wouldn’t even work closely together.
I responded to Lori, suggesting that I might have the perfect designer for the project.
After the long weekend, it felt good to have the kids with me for the week before their trip with Kelly. She and Jeff planned a vacation starting Friday, the day after school let out, and while I was happy for her, I was surprised at how quickly their relationship was progressing.
Still, Jeff seemed like a good guy. Kelly introduced us briefly when I picked up the kids one afternoon, and he struck me as solid and kind.
He brought out a spark in Kelly I hadn’t seen in years.
She deserved happiness, and I was glad she’d found it.
She even apologized for bringing up the court order.
Now, I had to move forward. I had to focus on my kids, my work, and the life I’d built.
But I realized no amount of distraction would make the ache of losing Natalie go away.
I just had to keep going. Summer was coming, and with it, the promise of distance.
For now, I just had to get through the next three days.