Chapter 50
THE GATE TO GOODBYE
NATALIE
The school year was winding down. The countdown had begun, but for me, it felt like life itself was ending. Meredith was my solid ground.
She stayed around for a few more days, just enough time to help me keep afloat.
But she had to fly back on Tuesday to get ready for a wedding she was photographing that weekend, which meant at least I was spared from picking up the kids one more day, and from the gut-wrenching possibility of running into Will.
I couldn’t bear to face him. My eyes were swollen, and my heart felt even worse.
I felt shattered, as if I’d lost two great loves at once.
I had no one to blame but myself. My selfishness brought me to this breaking point.
I took a deep breath. Jason and I decided to wait until the weekend to tell the kids about the separation.
We wanted to present a united front, assuring them that “Daddy would be getting his own place for a little while.” The careful phrasing was meant to soften the blow, but nothing about this was soft or easy.
Meredith zipped her suitcase, and the finality of the sound made my stomach twist. I stood in the hallway, arms folded tightly across my chest like a hug that could hold myself together with the pressure alone.
My eyes still burned. My heart was splintered, two kinds of loss pressing in from opposite sides.
She slung her purse over her shoulder, but stopped short. Our eyes met. She crossed the room and in a few steps was pulling me and wrapping her arms around me.
“You’ll be okay,” she said, squeezing me tightly. Then she pulled back just enough to look at me. “But, seriously, maybe try waterproof mascara . The regular stuff clearly didn’t survive this week.”
I let out a half-laugh, half sob, and she smiled softer.
“You don’t have to be strong every second. Just breathe. Feel it. Let it be messy.”
She brushed my hair back from my face.
“And don’t forget, come to the Hamptons for the Fourth. We’re doing this summer together, Nat. I’ll make a few more trips out here, too.”
“I couldn’t ask for a better sister, or a better aunt for the kids.”
She grinned. “You didn’t have to ask. Love you.”
After dropping her off, I forced myself to shower and dry my hair.
I even put on a little makeup, trying to disguise the emotional wreckage written all over my face.
I told myself it was just another day. Another school pick-up, nothing to worry about.
But as I pulled into the parking lot and found a spot toward the back, a wave of unease crept up my spine.
There was a good chance he wouldn’t even be there.
He might have delegated pick-up to Kelly or his sister.
But as soon as I stepped out of the car, I saw him. Will.
He was standing near the gate, casually leaning against the fence, as devastatingly handsome as ever in a black T-shirt, light shorts, with a ball cap on backwards.
His blond waves were peeking out. That perfect face, sharp and sun-kissed, turned in my direction.
Our eyes met, and I could’ve sworn my heart stopped for a moment, but I tore my gaze away, and looked down at my phone.
Just get to the gate. Keep walking.
I moved toward the crowd of moms, many in their tennis skirts, trying to lose myself among them.
But I could feel him there, behind me. His presence was as tangible as the sun on my skin.
The bell rang; a sharp jolt back to reality.
Kids came trickling out of the gate, their laughter and energy filling the air.
I spotted Bebe and Ivy first, their arms linked, heads bent close in a shared secret followed by giggles. Just behind them came James, walking with Camille’s boys. Their little faces beamed with end-of-year excitement.
Suddenly, at a tap on my shoulder. I jumped, but it was just Camille, and her familiar warm smile eased some of my tension.
“Darling are you alright?” she asked, her voice low with concern. “Meredith filled me in while she was waiting to board the plane.”
“I’m okay,” I lied.
“Come over,” she said gently, touching my arm. “Bring the children. I’ll have something for them to nibble on, and you can have a drink. You need a friend, mon amour.”
I nodded, grateful. I drove the kids home to grab swimsuits and towels, glad of the distraction from my all-too-empty house.
Camille greeted us with her signature style, effortlessly chic in a breezy sundress, holding a tray of snacks and juice boxes for the kids. They didn’t waste a second before cannonballing into the pool. Their laughter echoed off the water.
While they swam, Camille served us a bottle of wine. “I assume we’re going to need this,” she said.
I laughed. “Maybe something stronger.”
“Oh, I have that too,” she said, pouring the wine, “but let’s start here.”
The wine was crisp and cool, a brief respite from the heaviness in my chest.
“You’re going to be alright, Natalie,” Camille said, her tone both gentle and certain.
“I know,” I replied, although my voice wavered. “I’m heartbroken. Over both Jason and Will.”
She nodded. “Fair.”
“Let’s talk about something else,” I said, desperate to shift the focus.
“We can do that. What about a girls’ spa weekend? The Montage. First weekend the kids are with Jason.”
“That sounds glorious,” I said, my shoulders relaxing at the thought.
“Good, because I already booked facials and ninety-minute massages.” Camille reached over, grabbing my hand. “We’ve got this.”
Camille never flinched. Never judged. Just stayed. Loyal. Steady. A true friend.
Out by the pool, the kids shrieked and laughed, splashing after each cannonball, and giggling through a loosely followed game of Simon Says. Their joy was so loud and contagious it brought a smile to my face. Maybe everything was going to be okay.
The last day of school arrived, bringing with it a flurry of activity, classroom chaos, end of the year gifts, and a big school-wide-mass to close out the year.
Jason decided to come with me to pick up the kids, making his first appearance at the school gate. The kids had a half-day, and the mass was the final event before dismissal.
I hadn’t realized how much of a production it was until we arrived.
The parking lot was packed with valet attendants weaving between luxury SUVs.
Inside, parents were dressed to the nines, outdoing one another in Chanel suits and Louboutin’s.
I felt underdressed in my sundress and espadrille wedges.
Of course Camille had front-row seats reserved for her family, and for us. As we slid into the pew, Jason leaned over and whispered, “How much do you think they donate each year?”
I stifled a laugh. “Too much.”
As the mass began, the choir filled the church with hymns so beautiful they brought tears to my eyes.
I tried to stay present, to feel grateful for what I had, but the weight of everything, the separation, Will, the unknown, all of it pressed down on me.
A single tear escaped, and I quickly wiped it away.
After the mass, we joined the throng of parents outside the gate, waiting for the kids.
I saw Will in the crowd, looking polished and handsome in a crisp suit.
Seeing him made my heart catch, like my body remembered something my mind was trying to forget.
His sister was with him, along with Kelly, with who must have been her boyfriend in tow.
My stomach twisted as Will glanced my way.
I turned my head, hoping Jason hadn’t noticed.
Camille caught the moment, though. She squeezed my hand. Her silent reassurance grounded me. When the kids finally appeared, Bebe and Ivy walked hand in hand, their faces lit up with wide smiles. Ivy gave Bebe a quick hug before darting to Will’s sister, Sarah, who scooped her up with ease.
Sarah glanced over at me. Her expression was warm as she mouthed, Have a nice summer.
The simple kindness of the gesture struck me. For a fleeting moment, I wondered if Will thought Jason and I were still together.
I glanced in Will’s direction, and caught his eyes, holding it for just a beat longer than I should have.
My stomach tightened when I turned to Jason.
His jaw was visibly clenched when Ivy ran to Will and hugged him.
Camille, always perceptive, stepped in before the tension could build.
She turned to Jason with impeccable timing, asking him a seemingly random question about New York.
Her lilting French accent worked its usual charm, steering his focus away from the moment.
She saved me from what could have been an unbearably awkward situation.
As we walked back to the car, I couldn’t shake the thought that this might be the last time I’d see Will for a while. I ached at the thought, but I knew I had to let go—even if it broke my heart.
That afternoon, we took the kids to lunch, the illusion of normalcy intact.
Jason was attentive, joking with the kids and asking about their summer plans.
For a moment, it felt like we were a family again.
But I couldn’t stop thinking about the weekend ahead, about the conversation we’d have with Bebe and James.
When we got home, Jason left to take a call, promising to return Friday evening. I watched him go with the heaviness creeping back. I had my phone in my hand, and for a split second, I considered texting Will.
Instead, I called Meredith.
“I made it through mass without a full breakdown,” I said.
“Well, that’s something,” she said. Her voice was light. “Did the hymns get you?”
“Maybe,” I admitted. “But seeing Will didn’t help.”
She was quiet for a beat. “Are you going to call him?”
“No,” I said quickly. “There’s too much going on and I’m barely separated.”
“Sure,” she said, “I understand.”
After I hung up, before desperation could creep in again, I turned my attention to the kids. “How about a movie night?” I asked. “You can pick the snacks, and we’ll have a sleepover in my room.”
Their cheers filled the house, and I felt a flicker of peace. We ended the day piled in my bed with popcorn bowls between us and laughter chasing away the shadows. For now, it was enough.