Chapter 17
JAKE
So the name of the game was pretending that it didn’t happen.
I had a feeling that was how Ellie would play this when she stared at my cum seeping through my joggers like her body was fully detached from her brain. But it was cemented when she greeted me with a high-pitched “Morning!” at breakfast and took half an hour to look me in the eye.
If I understood one thing in this life, it was compartmentalising.
I also understood being someone’s mistake.
So I ordered an Uber for the ride to my parents’ house, and tried not to remember the taste of Ellie’s lips or the wet heat of her cunt against my cock, or the sound of her moans in the air.
I bit back a groan, the sight of her not helping matters.
Ellie padded around in a floaty, summery dress the colour of pale butter, and I wasn’t sure how a garment could cover most of her delectable body and somehow still be the sexiest thing I’d ever seen in my entire life.
I learned something every damn day in this house.
Like the curve of her hips and the fleshy swell of her ass and how right they felt in my hands…
“On your left!” Noah bellowed and tossed his Captain America action figure at the wall, while Ellie huffed and tutted as she tried to thread a small gold hoop earring into one ear.
Once she succeeded, she smoothed the skirt of her dress and fiddled with the cap sleeves. “Do I look okay?”
“You look beautiful,” I told her, gratified by that pink bloom.
I loved that I still had the power to make her blush after she’d dry humped me so hard I had trouble catching my breath afterwards. If anyone should be blushing, it was me.
“Doesn’t she, Noah?” I added.
“You look pretty every day, Mummy.”
And fuck, I couldn’t agree more.
“Thank you, baby.” A smile teased the edges of her mouth before she looked at me. “And thank you.”
The air crackled between us.
After a few seconds too long, I peeled my gaze away and cleared my throat. “Before we head out, should we give your mum her present?”
“Present?” Ellie grew more confused when Noah dropped his toys to run into the hallway, returning a few minutes later carrying a bouquet of pink roses and a pink floral gift bag we’d hidden in his room.
“Happy Mother’s Day!” Noah beamed, and I couldn’t help but match it at the sight of him, all three-foot-nothing and struggling with the weight of his gifts.
Last week, we’d eaten cookies and cake at the Pottery Café in Battersea while Noah painted a mug with his own special Jackson Pollock style design. Keeping it a secret had been no easy feat.
Ellie lifted the mug out of the bag and gasped. “Jake…”
“It’s a keepsake of Noah’s artwork,” I explained unnecessarily. “There, uh, there should be something else in the bag. From me. It’s not specifically for today, but I wanted you to have it.”
She dug around in the bag, blinking in surprise at the purple pouch containing a couple of thin gold rings, one lined with three small gold beads.
“It’s a fidget ring. The beads move. Supposedly it helps with anxiety. I don’t know, but I saw it online and—”
Ellie’s chin wobbled.
“You can return it if you want.”
“No,” she croaked out, sliding the rings onto her left hand, fingering the little beads and grooves. “I love them. I love it all. Thank you. I… I don’t deserve you.”
That just wasn’t possible.
“Ellie.” I clasped her hand, brushing my thumb over those new beads. “You deserve the whole fucking world.”
All conversation ceased when I strolled into my parents’ living room an hour later, Ellie and Noah tucked close behind me.
“The prodigal son has returned,” I joked, offering my mum a bouquet of white and yellow roses. “These are for you.”
“Thank you, Jacob.” She oohed and aahed, and immediately started rearranging the stems.
“Nice of you to finally join us.” My dad heaved himself out of his armchair. “Now we can eat.”
I would’ve rolled my eyes if he wasn’t looking right at me.
“We’re only ten minutes late.”
“When aren’t you late?” Oliver muttered, grunting when Leo elbowed him in the ribs.
I stared at my brother, taken aback.
So much had happened in the last twenty-four hours, I’d almost forgotten he was going to be here. Whatever reaction I’d anticipated after three months of not seeing each other, it definitely wasn’t this giant pile of… nothing.
No annoyance. No anger.
Nothing.
I’d sent my life spinning off course in part because of him, and now I felt nothing?
I wasn’t sure what to do with that.
“That wasn’t Jake’s fault,” Ellie piped up, startling every person in the room, probably because they hadn’t seen her behind me. She really was a slip of a thing in comparison.
“There was an accident in the Blackwall Tunnel,” she carried on, “so there was lots of traffic and delays.”
Dad had the decency to look sheepish, swiping awkwardly at the side of his neck. “I apologise.”
“It’s okay,” Ellie said lightly. “You weren’t to know.”
I beamed at her, brimming with awe and disbelief, and dropped a kiss to her forehead. I couldn’t hide my affection in that moment, stunned by her boldness, but also by her support for me.
When had that ever happened before?
“Are you gonna introduce us or are you gonna keep staring and drooling?” Talia asked from her perch in her husband’s lap.
They both wore the remnants of their honeymoon tans—Talia’s blonde hair sun kissed too—and I sent them a half-hearted glare, discreetly giving her, specifically, the middle finger.
She knew exactly what she was doing and I didn’t like it.
I gave a round of quick introductions. “I invited them to lunch. You don’t mind, do you?”
“Not at all.” Mum loved entertaining and being the centre of attention at all times. “You know I always make three portions too many. Sometimes I’m still stuck in the mindset of living with four growing teenagers who liked to eat everything in sight.”
“Don’t be dramatic.”
“It’s my prerogative to be dramatic, Jacob.”
Noah tugged on my sleeve.
“Why does that lady call you Jacob?” he asked, making everyone smile.
“That’s my mum and, unfortunately, that’s my full name. I hate it though.”
“Well, I don’t,” Mum insisted, an edge of offence in her tone. “It’s on your birth certificate, and I endured eighteen hours of labour bringing you into the world, so if I want to call you Jacob, I will.”
“I bet you regret asking now, huh kid?”
Noah’s brow wrinkled, and everyone laughed.
“So, Ellie darling,” my mum said, unfolding her floral paper napkin across her lap. “Tell me how you and Jake met.”
Ellie shifted beside me, presumably unsettled by the joint scrutiny of my entire family. One pair of eyes was sometimes too much, I dreaded to think how she felt with seven.
I gave in to the urge to reassure her and squeezed her thigh under the table, not at all expecting her to capture my hand and not let go.
I couldn’t lie. My pulse actually fluttered a bit.
“At the pub where I work,” Ellie replied. “He came in randomly one day. It was raining.”
She remembered.
“Yeah, that’s right. I’m not sure why I was even in that area, but it started pissing down—”
“Jacob,” Mum hissed, gesturing at Noah seated the other side of me, his toothy smile smeared with gravy. “There’s a child present.”
“Oh, he’s fine.” I brushed his wayward curls back, then took over cutting his roast lamb and a couple of roast potatoes too. He wasn’t used to adult-sized cutlery yet, and these special occasion silver ones were fucking heavy.
By the time I finished, my mother’s mouth had dropped, Oliver was watching me strangely, and Talia said, “Oh.”
“What?”
“Nothing,” Talia rushed out, jabbing at her carrots and missing three times. “Carry on, Ellie.”
“Yes, please,” Grace joined in. “We love a meet-cute.”
“A meet what?” Rafe wondered.
Ellie laughed uneasily, and a confusing mix of pleasure and concern punched me when she started fiddling with the beads on her new ring. It was helpful, but she was also anxious, and every part of me wanted to erase that somehow.
I’d take it on myself if I could.
“Well, it was raining, like the sideways kind of rain, and Jake was soaked. He sat at the bar, took his t-shirt off, and laid it to dry on the stool next to him. Just sat there topless for hours until it dried.”
“You didn’t,” Leo said, laughing against his fist. “You have no shame.”
“Why would I? Besides, there’s nothing worse than damp clothing against your skin. Like when you tread in a wet spot while wearing socks.” I gagged a bit. “Gross.”
Oliver reached across the table for the bottle of wine and refilled his glass. “I think this conversation has veered way off course.”
“Doesn’t it always?”
“Speaking of conversations veering off course…” Talia set down her knife and fork, glanced around the table and said, “I’m pregnant.”
It was comical the way everyone’s cutlery dropped. A running theme for drama in this house.
Talia’s face crumpled into a surprise! jazz hands kind of expression. Rafe mouthed a couple of kisses against her knuckles, and I did a double-take at the sight of his wide grin as Leo patted him on the back.
I wasn’t sure I’d ever seen Rafe’s teeth, let alone a smile that wide. The grumpy bastard.
“Huh,” he said. “I thought that news would get a bit more noise than that.”
“You’re pregnant?” Mum asked, her hands creeping up to cover her mouth in shock. “You’re not messing with me?”
“This is not something I’d ever mess with, Mum. I’m due in October.”
Our mother screamed, jumping out of her seat so fast it toppled over. “I’m going to be a grandmother! David, we’re finally going to be grandparents!”
“I got that, dear.”
“This is the best day of my life!”
“I thought that was when I was born,” I said, then held up both hands. “Wrong time for that joke. My bad. Congratulations.”
I lifted my wine glass, and a round of cheers and congratulations drifted into the air. The conversation switched to due dates and pregnancy supplements, and something about M&S baby clothes in the attic, and I was happy for my sister, but all I could think about was the two people beside me.
They were both a little subdued, unused to the noise and the newness of those around them, but Ellie was smiling and following along with the chaotic chatter, even offering up congratulations to my dad.
Watching her bloom and creep out of her shell filled me with pride and a pure, blistering want, and I couldn’t help but imagine her here always, a seat by my side, a hand in mine, and maybe a heart to come home to.
After we cleared the table, Oliver followed me into the kitchen and said, “Can we talk?”
I glanced at Ellie as she set down a few dirty plates by the sink, asking her without words if she was okay to be left alone.
When she nodded, I grabbed a couple of beers and a bottle opener magnet from the fridge, and headed out into the back garden. There was a patio with a garden table, chairs, and a still-covered umbrella, along with an old bricked BBQ that should’ve been knocked down years ago.
I popped the beer caps and we took long drags at the same time, nothing but the sounds of Spring around us.
“You seem different,” Oliver said eventually.
“In what way?”
“I can’t explain it. I looked at you across the dinner table cutting Noah’s food into these bite-sized pieces and I didn’t recognise you. Maybe it was in a good way. I don’t know.”
“Why does that feel like a backhanded compliment?”
“I don’t mean it to be. Sometimes, I don’t mean what I say with you, Jake. Sometimes it comes out all wrong.”
It had an edge of truth to it, but I hummed, unsure what to say.
“When Leo told me he was in love with Grace, he said that one day I’d understand his feelings. That I’d meet someone incredible and I wouldn’t be able to stay away.”
I took another swig of beer and gave in to the urge to watch Ellie through the patio door where she chatted to my mum and dad. She looked strangely comfortable and at home, like she’d always been there, and my insides clenched.
“Why are you telling me this?”
“Because I want you to know I’m sorry for the secrecy and the lies, and giving you a hard time. I really am, and I should’ve told you that months ago. But I’m not sorry for Avery. I’m not sorry for wanting her.”
“Good.”
“Wait. What?” Oliver blinked a few times. “You punched me in the face and now you’re saying good?”
“Yeah, I am. Things might not be perfect right now, but Avery’s still my friend and she deserves someone who isn’t sorry about her. And if that’s you, then own it. Own how you feel about her.”
He nodded slowly. “I’m trying.”
“Good.”
“What about you?”
“What about me?” I asked.
He gestured to Ellie inside. I wasn’t quite sure what he was asking. Or maybe I didn’t want to think about it. But there was one certainty I could count on.
“I could never be sorry about Ellie Brooks.”