Chapter Twenty-Two
“M eet Maria Kirwan.” Jem, bathed in the glow of new fatherhood, cradled his daughter, and glanced at Gabriel. “Do you want to hold her?”
“I’d love to.” Gabriel approached, and his cousin carefully transferred the newborn from one pair of arms to the other. “She’s such a beauty,” Gabriel cooed. He caught little Maria’s milky-sweet scent, and his heart contracted. Soon, he would have a child of his own.
“She sure is.” Jem beamed proudly at Maria. At this very moment, she pouted her lips and looked even more adorable. “Let’s sit.” He waved toward the sofa.
Jem and Suzette’s house had been taken over by baby paraphernalia, and the living room was at the epi-center of mayhem. A half-empty baby bottle stood on the coffee table, evidence of a recent feed. Bibs, some clean, some less so, dotted its wooden surface.
Onesies, sleepsuits, and muslin cloths were drying on a rack in the far corner of the room, and the floor was strewn with cuddly toys of every color and description.
“Hello you.” Gabriel rocked the infant in his arms, and she gave a satisfied gurgle.
Jem placed a white cloth over Gabriel’s shoulder. “Here, in case she throws up.”
“Thanks.” He adjusted the fabric.
“Always good to be prepared for milky puke on your clothes.” Jem grinned. “We’ll have you trained in no time, so you’ll be able to babysit for us as promised.”
“I’d better get all the practice I can, not just for babysitting,” Gabriel said, mesmerized by Maria’s tiny fingers clutching his thumb.
Jem narrowed his eyes. “What do you mean?”
Gabriel cursed internally; he hadn’t meant to let slip that he was on the road to fatherhood himself, but his cousin knew him too well. No use trying to hide what was on his mind. “I told you about my plans with Delia...”
“I thought that was off since she reacted badly when she found out you had feelings for her.”
“Well...” Gabriel focused on Maria to avoid Jem’s eyes. “We met one more time after our falling out, and that was enough to, ah, get Delia pregnant.”
Jem scrutinized him. “That was before Vanessa came back?”
“Yes, naturally. What do you take me for?” Gabriel’s tone startled the baby, and she began to fuss.
“Come here, give her to me.” Jem took his daughter and held her against his chest to settle her.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to bring up my drama. I don’t want to spoil this joyful time.”
“Nonsense, Gabe, we’re family. I’m concerned about you.”
“I know, and I appreciate it.” Gabriel cast his gaze toward the exit.
He didn’t belong in this blissful atmosphere since he’d made such a mess of his personal life. His dark mood was dragging Jem down. Suzette, thankfully, was asleep. One person less to witness his discomfort.
“I don’t want you to worry, I’m fine, everything will fall into place. Vanessa and I are working on re-establishing a relationship. She’s happy enough to form a patchwork family with me, Delia, and our child.”
Jem pressed his lips together and knitted his brow.
“You do know there are more than two women on planet Earth who you could be with. It doesn’t necessarily have to be one who dumped you at some stage in the past. Give yourself enough time to get over Delia before getting serious with someone else, even if that somebody is a woman you know well. There’s no shortcut through heartache.”
Gabriel flinched. “You sound very smug and married right now.”
“Sorry man, I didn’t mean to... Haven’t had much sleep lately...” Jem bit his lip and dropped his gaze to Maria.
“It’s all right, Jem. I think I’d better head home.” Gabriel stood, but his cousin motioned for him to sit again.
“Gabe, stay. I want to know how you’re coping, and what Suzette and I can do to help.”
Gabriel watched the baby in Jem’s arms and smiled.
“You have your hands full. I should be the one helping you, and before you protest, it’ll be good for me, keep me busy.
Being around Maria will be great preparation for when my child is born.
Please don’t worry. I’m going to make an appointment with a counsellor to help me deal with my emotions. ”
“Good plan. Just remember you can always count on me.”
“I know, I know.” Gabriel gave Jem an awkward half-hug, mindful to not disturb the newborn. “Give my best to Suzette. I need to go now.”
Jem frowned. “Thanks for stopping by.”
~ * ~
T he letter had come in a heavy envelope of cream paper with no return address, and Delia had torn it open carelessly, entirely unprepared for its contents. She sat on her sofa, tears streaming down her cheeks and reread the two pages filled with neat handwriting in black ink.
Delia,
I hope you’re well. I’m writing first and foremost to apologize.
Sorry for not listening to you, sorry for trying to change you, sorry for being angry and hurt.
You were never anything but honest with me, and it’s not your fault I fell in love with you.
All I can offer as recompense is the promise to respect your wishes from now on. I owe it to you, me, and Vanessa.
With time, I’m sure things will get easier, and we’ll forget the pain we caused each other. I don’t want the fact that I loved you to keep us from becoming good co-parents.
Secondly, I wanted to let you know that I’ll do what you have suggested for a long time, which is to tell Brady-Greene about our ‘divorce.’ I wanted to give you notice in case he tells John Winter. My meeting with Brady-Greene is this coming Wednesday.
Also, I wanted to ask if you would accept your portrait? I’ve taken it down and was wondering if you had space for it in your flat. I know it’s rather large.
All the very best,
Gabriel
Delia’s hands were shaking.
I don’t want the fact that I loved you to keep us from becoming good co-parents.
He’d written ‘loved’ in the past tense, and the finality of it hurt.
I wanted to ask if you would accept your portrait?
God. He was purging her from his life as thoroughly as he could.
She pressed her hands to her chest to stem the pain.
Memories of their painting sessions flooded back—the easy friendship that had evolved between them.
The spark of suppressed attraction that had burst into a blaze of passion and yes, love—unacknowledged on her part, until it was too late.
She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. He’d surely marry his new partner soon, and her portrait would hang beside his. Rightfully so, because it would be the picture of a real countess this time. Delia needed to make space; she had wanted it that way.
She was shivering, overtaken by the strength of her feelings all the more overwhelming for having been suppressed for so long. How was she to deal with this? She folded the letter and returned it to its envelope.
Gabriel had slipped into her heart, unnoticed, and the emotional fallout of losing him devastated her. She typed a short message to him before dialing her brother’s number.
“Tom.” Delia held her phone away from her face and fought the urge to cry. She hugged herself with her free arm and pulled her legs up on the sofa. “I know it’s late, but can I come over?”
“Sure, sis, what’s wrong?”
“I’ll tell you everything once I’m there. Sorry for landing on you like this but...but I...” Tears swallowed the rest of the sentence.
“Let me come to you,” he said. “I don’t want you to drive when you’re in such a state.”
“Thanks.” She tried to steady her voice. “Thanks so much.”
Delia opened the door to Tom and threw herself into his arms. Her head ached from crying, and her eyes felt swollen. She pushed her face against his jumper, and he held her until her sobs quieted.
“Hey, what happened? You’re scaring the life out of me.”
“You were right all along,” she said, her voice muffled. “I love Gabriel. I always have. Now it’s too late. I’m pregnant, but he’s with somebody else.”
“Wait, what? Slow down.” Tom peeked into her face. He released her from the hug, put his arm around her shoulders, and guided her to the living room.
They sat on the sofa underneath Gabriel’s painting of the giant DNA molecule. She shivered beside Tom despite the room’s warmth.
He took the blue blanket from the armchair and tucked it around her. “I’m going to make you a cup of hot chocolate, then we’ll talk.”
She lifted her face to him. “Please, no hot chocolate. The smell alone makes me nauseous.”
He furrowed his brow. “Since when? You live for that stuff.”
She pressed a cushion to her stomach and glanced at him through puffy eyes. “Ever since I fell pregnant.”
“You...” He averted his head for a moment before turning to her again. “You said you’d let me know.”
“I...” She sucked in a shaky breath. “I meant to, but I went to Gabriel first and then...” Her voice broke, and a new wave of tears shook her.
He gently stroked her arm. “What can I get you to drink instead?”
“Just water,” Delia said in a small voice.
A little later, he returned with a glass of water and placed it into her cold hands.
“Thanks.” She took a tiny sip and breathed a shaky sigh. “Should have listened to my big brother, shouldn’t I have?”
“Ah, Delia, I’d rather you be happy than me be right.” He squeezed her shoulder while the whole messed-up saga poured out of her.
“How could I have been so stupid?” She sniffled into a tissue.
“Don’t beat yourself up,” he said. “There’s no easy way to learn things about oneself.
It takes time for us to realize what’s been going on.
I’m sorry you’re in such pain. Right now, I’m sure it feels as if it might never pass, but it will, eventually.
Just because this is the first time you’ve fallen in love, doesn’t mean it has to be the last.”
“Please,” she lifted her gaze to him, “don’t talk about love to me.”
“I want you to do one thing for me, for yourself.” He shifted in his seat. “I want you to go see a therapist.”
She balked. “You think I need a shrink?”
He gave her a playful prod with his elbow. “Psychology is as much a science as genetics. It doesn’t always have to be test tubes, pipettes, and spectrometers.”