Chapter 13 #2
I hadn’t even finished singing when Ben stood, never taking his eyes off me.
Once he was on his feet, I stepped off the chair.
He slipped one hand around the back of my neck and the other around my waist. I dropped the mic onto the table, and when he brought his face toward mine, the entire bar erupted.
He paused for a moment to look into my eyes.
I gently brushed my nose against his. And when he finally pressed his lips onto mine, we were both smiling.
We had pushed the beds together in our tiny studio apartment. Hannah, Kara, and I were cuddled up, while Ben lay below our feet on a twin-size, wobbly, overinflated air mattress. At 3 a.m., my sister and Kara were breathing deeply, and I heard Ben shuffle about with our spare comforter.
“Are you asleep?” I whispered.
“Yes,” he whispered back. “Come down here.”
“What?”
“Get your ass down here, Ellie.”
My heart rose to my throat as I inched out of the bed. I crawled over to Ben, and he grabbed me around the waist and pulled my body toward him. My back pressed against his chest. A soft glow from the Grayrock sign shone through the curtains.
“I can’t believe you sang to me.”
“I know.” I giggled. The air mattress swayed, but I relaxed into him as I settled between his arms.
“You sounded like a broken dishwasher.”
I laughed loudly, and he shushed me with a light smack. The unsteadiness of the air mattress caused it to slip on the floor, pushing it forward and knocking Ben off with a thud. We looked up at Hannah and Kara, who were both drooling in their sleep.
“Whoops.” Ben put the mattress back, then slipped into the small space next to the foot of the bed, holding me in front of him.
“You deserved that. I sounded amazing. It’s all those drills in voice class.”
“Ha! Caaaaaa, caaaaaaa.” He quietly replicated one of the many vocal warm-ups we were forced to do every morning—to loosen our jaws, maybe? I think? I needed to pay more attention in voice class.
“Caaaaaaa, caaaaaaa!” I matched his energy and then some.
“Shhhhh! For Christ’s sake, too loud!” He shook with laughter, jostling me around in his arms. His solid body flexed and tensed.
My stomach hurt from holding back. After we calmed again, he pressed his face into my hair and breathed in deeply.
“You smell like alcohol.” His hot breath made it feel like he had kissed me softly behind my ear, but I couldn’t be sure.
“Right back at you, buddy.” My heart tripped.
Ben squeezed me a little tighter, then brushed my hair away from his face.
He pressed his lips into the back of my neck.
There was no mistaking it this time. He kissed me.
Every organ inside my body fluttered. “You never told me about Boston. How was it?”
“It was okay.” His fingers slowly grazed my arm. He was connecting my freckles. After a long moment of silence, he said, “You’re doing it this time.”
“Doing what?” I turned my body to face Ben, pressing my hips and stomach into his.
“Kissing me.”
“I am?” I smiled.
He nodded. “I know you pretty well, you know. I know when you’re scared, because I am, too. I know when you’re excited, because I am, too. And I know when you want something, because I want it, too.”
I gently pulled Ben toward me, and our lips came together like a river to the ocean.
From my prickling skin to the firmness of our kiss to every time he opened my mouth with his own, I was disappearing into him.
We were disappearing into each other. I felt him everywhere.
His teeth trailed against my bottom lip, and I twisted onto my back, letting his body take over mine.
He lifted my hands overhead, giving himself full access to my body.
He slipped his free hand under my shirt, lifting it.
He trailed his mouth across my rib cage, up to the bottom of my breast. His mouth wandered my body as I arched alongside him.
It was as if we were moving in slow motion.
He released my hands, and I moved them to the front of his pajama bottoms. My thumbs dipped below the elastic band, and I pulled his hips against mine.
We started slowly grinding against each other, moving in tandem, and I felt like I was going to combust.
“Ben . . .” I breathed. “You’re barely touching me, and I’m already close.”
Ben lifted his head, his eyes glinting. He was clearly surprised by my admission. “Seriously?” He laughed softly. “We just started.”
“I’m telling you right now, there’s nothing I can do about this,” I panted, and he laughed a little louder. “And yes, I’m aware that we’re fully clothed, but . . . Jesus Christ, Ben.” I was only half embarrassed. Ben’s mouth roamed my neck, and I could feel him smiling.
“Don’t you dare come,” Ben whispered against my skin. “Not yet. I want to live in this moment.” He pulled the drawstring of my pajamas and pushed his hands past my hips. A moan slipped out of me as he dug his fingers into my skin and dragged them roughly over me.
“Fuck, Ellie . . . You can’t make that noise, or I’ll lose it, too.” When his hands discovered that I wasn’t wearing any underwear, he pressed his fingers deep inside me, unable to stop himself.
“Oh god.” My body started to tense. Every part of me was folding and throbbing.
“Keep your shit together, McCain.” We both laughed into each other’s mouths.
As Ben and I kissed, I felt like I was floating away from the person I was and into the body of someone entirely new.
We both took off our shirts and started taking off our pajama pants.
Unfortunately, we did so with a little too much enthusiasm, and the air mattress shifted beneath us.
We toppled onto the floor with a thunderous crash.
We had landed, fully exposed, with our pajamas trapped below our knees, and I somehow rolled on top of him.
Hannah and Kara both stirred.
“Oh shit!” I smacked my hand over Ben’s mouth and, through the power of expression, told him to kindly shut the hell up. “How is it possible that I forgot they were here?” I whispered after they settled.
“We’re in a dangerous position right now, Ellie.” Ben’s eyes softened with his smile. He leaned forward, kissing my collarbone, and carefully pulled my pajama pants all the way off. He then grabbed my leg to help me straddle him properly.
“Should we . . . go somewhere?” I asked deliriously.
He brought his mouth to my chest, exploring my body.
I dropped my hands into his hair, holding him against my breasts, and he gripped my hips to help me drag myself against him.
Ben was right; we were in a very dangerous position.
Everything was warm, and hard, and wet, and we were close to giving ourselves over entirely.
I dipped down and grunted softly into his ear as our movements quickened, heightened.
I wanted more. I needed more. “Let’s go somewhere. ”
“Fuck, yes,” Ben groaned, far too loudly.
“Ellie?” My sister’s groggy voice cut through the room.
Ben and I froze, and our eyes went wide.
“Yes?” I answered stiffly.
Ben’s cheeks puffed out, restraining his laughter.
“Where are you?”
“I . . . I fell out of bed.”
Ben and I looked at each other, and I shrugged, unsure how to handle things from here on out.
“Oh, okay.” I could hear my sister turn over and settle herself back to sleep.
Is she going to ask if I’m okay? I mouthed to Ben, pulling a face.
Priorities, he mouthed back, then pointed to our naked bodies.
I quickly put my shirt back on, then leaned over to grab my pajama pants from the floor, but he ripped them from my hands and defiantly threw them across the room.
You idiot! I mouthed, suppressing my laugh.
Are you trying to kill me? he mouthed back. He popped his hips up in a playful fit of faux anger. I lifted myself off his body, and his eyes narrowed as I pulled up his pajama pants. I then stretched to grab my own.
Are we at least gonna talk about this? he mouthed as I put the pants on. I shook my head.
“Ellie McCain, do not freak out on me again,” he whispered as he grabbed my hips and placed me back on his lap.
“I’m not freaking out. I’m trying not to come, you moron,” I whispered harshly, through a strangled laugh. Ben hung his head, silently laughing with me. “Now, stop stalling, and move your extremely hard, distractingly big dick away from me unless you want this to be my first orgasm with you.”
“Well, my first orgasm with you happened in the shower months ago, just thinking about you. Little did I know, at that same time, you were eating Brie and Triscuits in your bed like a goddamn Neanderthal. So this is a step up, Ellie! At least I’m here!”
We were both shaking from trying to rein in our laughter. We looked at each other for one more sloppy minute before Ben lifted me off him and tore himself away with a growl. “I can’t wait to read about this in your diary.”
“Good night, Ben.” I crawled along the floor to my side of the bed, but was stopped by his hand gripping my ankle. I slid along the ground with his tug, as if I were on rollers, and collided with his body. We both sat up, and his eyes were sparkling. He traced my mouth with his thumb.
“Whatever this is, Ellie, whatever’s happening between us, I want it.” Ben kissed me one last time. “Happy birthday.” He finally backed away from me, put his hands to his head, and mimed that his head had exploded.
“Good night.” I laughed, then pulled myself back into bed. I most definitely did not sleep.