Aria
“Hey.” I half-smiled, my voice cracking slightly.
Callum squeezed my hand and brushed the loose hair from my face with the other.
“Hey, my little Astra. How are you feeling?”
I started to pull myself up, and he soon rose to help me as I winced in pain. “Better than yesterday,” I lied.
I wasn’t ok. I was completely shattered, broken, and I didn’t think I’d ever be able to put all those pieces back together. I’d pictured my future with this precious little baby, but instead, my body had failed me.
“You don’t have to pretend with me.”
“I don’t know what I’m meant to be feeling.” I looked down, twisting the star ring.
Callum tilted my head with his fingers, and those spring eyes hit me. I swallowed to try to loosen the tightness in my throat. My heart was heavy. I placed my hand on my stomach and felt that sinking feeling of all hope lost.
Callum’s touch was gentle, like a summer’s breeze against my stone-cold hand.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered.
I blinked, and a single tear fell down my cheek. Callum climbed onto the bed and wrapped his arms around me, placing my head on his chest. He stroked his fingers through my hair.
“Maybe if I had eaten more, or if I didn’t go to work … maybe my body would have been better …” I trailed off.
“Aria, it wasn’t your fault. Please don’t do that to yourself. Ectopic pregnancies can’t be saved. You are not to blame.”
We stayed in silence for a while, just him and me in that protective bubble of his. He would be there when I was ready to talk. He’d always be there.
“Callum.”
“Yeah.”
“I was starting to look forward to being a mum,” I whispered.
“You’d make a brilliant one.” He kissed the top of my head.
“I just feel numb.”
“Aria, I can’t imagine what you’re feeling, but let yourself feel what you need to. Don’t hold back, don’t bottle it up. It’s your body, not anyone else’s. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be here with you through it all.”
“You don’t have to stay. I know you probably need to get back to Leeds.”
“My little Astra, nothing on this Earth is more important than you right now. I’m here with you. I always will be.”
Tears welled up in my eyes, trying to spill over. Taking a deep breath, I tried to push them back as much as I could as I took hold of Callum’s shirt, but I knew they were inevitable.
“I’ll always be here,” he whispered.
I broke. The tears pushed through, with nowhere else to go. I buried my face into his chest as I let it all out. Pain, heartbreak, grief … all mixed together as each breath felt like I was suffocating, unable to stop that ache in my heart as it tightened its grip on me.
I’d thought I was going to be fine after coming back to London. I’d thought having Sebastian back in my life was everything I needed, but I was wrong. It hurt worse than anything Jason had ever done to me. Sebastian had broken me from the inside out, and I wasn’t sure I’d ever be the same again.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered between breaths as my cries died down. “Everything is just too much at the moment.”
“You know, once you’re discharged, you could always come back with me. A change of scenery might do you good. You could even do your uni course up there.”
“Really?”
“Of course. I miss having you with me.”
There wasn’t much left for me here anymore. Only heartbreak and broken promises.
“Maybe … I don’t know what I want.”
He hesitated. “Aria, I know this isn’t the best time, but I can’t lie to you. I could never do that.”
I closed my eyes, taking in his dark musk scent.
“It’s about Sebastian.”
I cut him off. “Please don’t. Not now.”
“I need to.”
I paused for a moment. I wasn’t sure what I was going to hear, but I knew it wasn’t going to be anything good.
“Go on.”
“He’s involved in the Organisation again. He has been for months now.”
I took in a deep breath, exhaling slowly.
That was why he’d been the way he was.
Distant. Unavailable.
The thing is, I think I knew the minute I saw him covered in blood, but I didn’t want to believe it.
“Are you sure?”
“I couldn’t lie to you about that. He’s not the man you thought he was, and he never has been.”
“I … I don’t know what to say.” Was that why he hadn’t fought for us? Why he wasn’t here when I needed him? Because that place meant more to him than I did?
The door clicked open as the nurse walked in.
“I just need to check your blood pressure and vitals.”
I gave her a small smile, and we sat there in silence whilst she got the blood pressure cuff and placed it around my arm.
“When can I go home?” I asked.
Her eyes flicked to Callum, then back to me. “Don’t worry, dear, we can set up the room for your partner to stay with you.”
“Oh … erm—”
Callum took hold of my hand, stopping me in my tracks. “Thank you.”
“As long as all is well, you’ll be able to go home in a few days. Recovery can take four to six weeks after discharge. You’ll need to be looked after.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of her.” Callum smiled at the nurse.
“Try and get some rest, and I’ll be back in a few hours to check on you again.”
The nurse left the room, leaving us alone again.
I sat there for a moment, thinking about everything Callum had just told me. His offer.
“Yes,” I said faintly. “I want to go back to Leeds with you.”