Chapter 39 - Different Kinds of Serious #2
"After that?"
"Especially after that."
"Yes."
She kissed me.
Slow.
No rush.
Her hand moved to my waist.
Mine rested against her shoulder.
And—
yes.
Longer.
Again.
But different from the last time.
Less—
I'm serious, notice me.
More—
I already told you. Now I'm just here.
I liked that.
Probably too much.
We separated.
Barely.
Celeste looked at me.
"Okay?"
"Yeah."
"Again?"
I nodded.
She kissed me again.
Long enough that I forgot several useful facts.
Like my name.
Maybe.
Not actually.
Still.
Fuck.
When we finally stopped, I stayed close.
So did she.
Her forehead rested against mine.
Neither of us spoke for a few seconds.
Then—
"Still no calibrated scale?" she whispered.
I laughed.
"Fuck you."
"That's not a number."
"There is no number."
"Okay."
Pause.
Then—
"Good kiss?"
I closed my eyes.
"Yes."
She smiled.
"Thank you for your feedback."
I pushed lightly at her shoulder.
She laughed.
Then she hugged me.
That was new.
Not—
hello hug.
Not—
goodbye acquaintance hug.
Just—
held me.
I wrapped my arms around her.
And something about that felt more intimate than the kissing.
Which was extremely inconvenient.
She stayed there.
No hurry.
Then quietly—
"I really like you."
I closed my eyes.
"I really like you too."
There.
No joke.
No compliance.
No verification.
Just true.
When she let go, she looked satisfied.
Not because she'd won anything.
Because I'd answered.
Fair.
Audrey and I saw each other again the next week.
Dinner.
Sixth date.
She asked about my week.
I told her enough.
Not kiss details.
Obviously.
She listened.
Then asked—
"Are things getting serious with them?"
Them.
Not competitors.
Just—
them.
"Yes."
She nodded.
Then looked at me for a second.
"And us?"
There.
Fuck.
I had known this was coming eventually.
Audrey deserved an honest answer.
I thought carefully.
"I like you."
"I know."
"I like being with you."
"I know."
That almost made it harder.
"But?"
I looked at her.
"I don't know if I'm moving toward you the way I'm moving toward them."
Audrey went quiet.
Not shocked.
Maybe she'd already known.
Then she smiled slightly.
"Okay."
That hurt more than expected.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be."
"I don't want to waste your time."
"You're not."
She looked down at her drink.
Then back at me.
"I've enjoyed this."
"Me too."
"And I like you."
"I like you too."
"But liking someone isn't always enough."
There.
Exactly.
No drama.
No failure.
Just—
true.
I asked—
"Do you want to stop?"
Audrey thought.
Then nodded.
"Romantically? Yeah."
My chest tightened.
Not heartbreak.
Still loss.
A possibility closing.
"Okay."
"Friends?"
"If you want."
"I do."
I smiled.
"Then yes."
We finished dinner.
Still easy.
A little sadder.
At the end, Audrey hugged me.
Longer than usual.
Then stepped back.
"No exit interview."
I stared.
"What?"
She smiled.
"I know you."
I laughed.
"Fine."
Then—
"You're going to be okay."
"I know."
"I mean with them."
Fuck.
"Hopefully."
Audrey smiled.
"Good luck."
"Thank you."
Then she left.
No resentment.
No villain.
Just—
one path closing because it wasn't the right one.
I sat in the car afterward.
Two.
There were two.
Celeste.
Victoria.
Fuck.
I did not tell Jane and Chloe immediately.
For once.
I wanted to sit with it myself.
Audrey had been—
good.
Genuinely.
No flaw I could point to.
No red flag.
No problem.
Just—
not enough movement.
That mattered.
Apparently.
Two days later, I finally told them.
Jane stared.
"Audrey?"
"Friends."
Chloe nodded slowly.
"Okay."
No joke.
Thank God.
Jane asked—
"You okay?"
"Yeah."
"Sad?"
"A little."
"Regret?"
I thought.
"No."
Good question.
No.
No regret.
Then Chloe looked at me.
"So."
I immediately pointed.
"No."
She smiled.
"I haven't said anything."
"You are about to."
Jane's eyes widened.
Then she looked between us.
"Oh."
I sighed.
There it was.
Two.
Jane whispered dramatically—
"Celeste."
Chloe:
"Victoria."
I covered my face.
"No."
Jane:
"Final two."
"STOP CALLING IT THAT."
Chloe:
"Championship round."
"CHLOE."
Jane was laughing now.
I hated them.
Then Jane asked—
"Okay. Serious question."
I lowered my hands.
"What?"
"Who do you think about when you're not with them?"
Again.
Fuck her.
This time—
the answer came faster.
Tori.
Then Celeste immediately after.
So close the distinction felt almost unfair.
But—
Tori first.
Again.
I said nothing.
Didn't need to.
Jane saw.
Chloe saw.
Of course.
Jane's expression changed.
Less teasing.
"Oh."
I looked away.
Chloe asked quietly—
"Tori?"
I sighed.
"Maybe."
There.
First time I'd said it aloud.
Maybe.
My phone buzzed.
Celeste.
miss me?
I looked at the screen.
And smiled.
Fuck.
Jane saw that too.
Then looked at Chloe.
Chloe looked at Jane.
Both looked back at me.
Jane:
"Good luck."
I sighed.
"Thank you."
Because yes.
I was going to need it.