Chapter XXIV
I was having a lazy afternoon with Constance. My work for the day had already been completed and she was also almost about to head off home for the Friday afternoon.
These were the most normal moments of my life and I lived for them.
"So what are you doing for the weekend?"
"Sleeping."
Rolling my eyes I quipped, "Live a little."
"You live a little."
"What, being fed by you up in a mansion isn't what you call living?" I joked.
Sending a dry look my way, Constance took something from the oven.
"I guess I could go out...make weekend plans."
"Precisely. You're allowed out these days, go do something fun."
But with who?The question remained.
Constance was having family time this weekend.
Arien's trip had been keeping him busy...he seemed to be working for once. Not that he would've been my choice to hang out with regardless.
AndS?ren?
Zero percent chance of that. I think our impromptu dinner alone had only served to remind him how much he needed to keep his distance. How much he didn't wish to be around me. I firmly ignored the twinge at the thought.
And they still hadn't agreed to let me leave town to visit my mom.
Constance stepped out to find more baking trays in storage while I nibbled on my cuticle, considering my potential weekend plans.
I guess alone time might be nice? I could wander around in town and do things that I didn't have the chance to do before.
My life had been very routine - filled with either working or catching up on sleep.
There was a clay cafe thing I'd always wanted to try, I was a shit artist but it could be fun...if I ignored how weird it might be doing the activity to do on my own.
I jarred back to reality asS?renstepped into the kitchen. I hadn't even heard him enter the kitchen.
He held a travel coffee cup in his hand as he stalked in, glancing my way.
Just the sight of him had my pulse throbbing.
Before either myself or, even him, could catch his actions - he was a mere foot away from me, pulling my fingers away from my mutilation of them, "Don't."
S?rendropped my hand as suddenly as he'd picked it up, sense rapidly returning, and then stepped back to refill his coffee.
I swallowed. Hard.
Before I could figure something to say, or do, the disconcerting interaction ended with him walking swiftly away.
Leaving my insides unsteady, stupefied at his too casual handling.
I, in trance, I headed to the garden. Such a stupid little, inconsequential gesture should not leave me in such mush.
And yet it did, oh it did.
I bumped into Arien on the way out to the garden, when he reminded me of our previously discussed lunch plan from a few days ago.
With no on the tip of my tongue, Constance's reminder played in my head.
Live a little.
Sigh. I knew she was right. I'd never had a chance or disposable income to do all the things I wanted to, and now that I had - it would be an ungrateful waste to not make up for it.
Giving in I responded to Arien's question, "Actually, I was thinking maybe instead we try a clay cafe if you're down?"
Looking taken aback for a second, he quickly replied, "Uh, yeah-yeah of course. Sounds fun."
"Okay, I'll get ready and meet you in like 30?"
"Perfect." His smile was ridiculously blinding for me just accepting his offer to go out.
I briskly made my way back to my room to ready myself.
Hurrying to get dressed, the thought of planning a nice outfit made me slightly giddy.
Made me tingly in ways only fellow girls would understand when it came to clothes.
I chose one of my nice pairs of jeans and a cute shirt which I thought looked artsy with all the tiny embroidered flowers, and lilac sweater in case it got colder.
And then I made my way outside to the car-park.
I tried to keep my grin at bay, time to get my clay painting on.
The cafe was bustling. The decor was bright and messy in a carefully curated artsy way.
The small space was loud enough to have ambience but quiet enough to still hold a conversation over the music. It was nice.
We'd already selected our pieces - both opting for oversized mugs, and had the paint colours spread out between us. We'd both ordered cocktails as well, to get the creative juices flowing.
Arien was focused so intently on his piece, he wasn't even making conversation for the moment.
"I haven't seen you work this hard at anything," I couldn't help jesting, "not even work work."
"Haha, well not all of use are artistically inclined." A frown still drew his face together as he joked back, it made me want to tease him more.
I took a long sip of my too sweet cocktail, "Neither am I. This is just supposed to be fun."
"Then why does yours look so good?" He seemed genuinely upset.
Again I laughed, "It's...alright - nothing very technical."
I was working on covering my mug in a purplish starry sky. So not the most challenging of painting work, I just had to cover the surface of the mug in my dark purple and navy blue paint, and then add in the white stars.
I tentatively spoke, May I ask what you're painting on yours?" The brown and orange splodges were hard to make sense of.
Now he looked physically pained and groaned my way, "It's a mountain range - can't you tell?"
I burst out laughing before trying to placate him again, "Ohhh, no I can. I really can."
Arien didn't look convinced at my words.
"Take a break, have a drink." I nudged his drink closer.
"I mean it's not a very wolfy activity, so cut yourself some slack."
Arien finally looked away from his peace, shoulders relaxing as he took hold of his drink, "Yeah, you're right, you should see me hunt an antelope."
"Hard pass." I could just imagine the gruesome scene, "So you actually hunt when you're in your wolf form?"
"Yeah."
"But why? You eat normal food so I wouldn't think it necessary."
"It's hard to explain but I guess it's just the instinct of being in our wolf form that prompts us to hunt. It's like our intrinsic instincts take over and make us want to run, chase, hunt like we wouldn't otherwise. The feeling's hard to describe."
I tried to make sense of it, "But you still can reason and think when you're in wolf form?"
"Yeah, of course, we're fully in control. Some things are simply heightened. It all feels like a rush, if you can remember how freeing it felt to run full-speed as a child? Something close to that, only a million times better."
Huh, I don't think I'd ever really understand it. There was an entirely different world when it came to being a werewolf that I would never fully grasp.
Arien changed the subject, "As much as I've been complaining, this is fun."
"I think so too," I admitted.
I took another long sip of my drink as I considered my life before...everything.
"I never got to do stuff like this. I remember the sinking feeling of life just passing me by, day by day...and then month by month, while I just got older. The thought that I'd never have real moments of living was constantly with me."
I don't know why I was admitting all this to Arien.
Arien was silent for a moment as he listened, then his own soft admission came, "I felt the same way about having a mate."
My eyes met his as I contemplated his words. I would also never understand that side of things. The whole mate thing was entirely foreign to me.
The thought of S?ren came to mind. If I had known the possibility of him before, I imagined myself waiting for him. The aching absence of him.
Maybe not entirely foreign anymore.
I eventually just nodded Arien's way.
Fidgety, he seemed to be figuring something out, trying to ask something maybe.
I waited for him to speak, continuing to paint.
"We have fun together right?"
My eyes snapped back up at his unprompted question.
I thought to all the activities he planned, the day out in town, "Yeah, I guess we do."
Now his eyes shifted between the cafe and our table, again like he was struggling to find the words.
I waited.
Arien looked unsure stringing the next words together, "I'm just thinking that if that's the case. If you enjoy the time with me...then we can maybe, eventually, be more."
Oh.
My stomach immediately felt the weight attached, dragging it down.
How could I even respond to the difficult question he posed? The one we had been ignoring as the elephant in the room for the longest.
Seeing the conflict on my face, he hastened to add, "I don't need you to answer now. And I don't want to ruin the day, please don't feel pressured to answer right away. Just think about it okay?"
I just nodded.
I was relieved to not have to answer right away. But that didn't mean I didn't know my answer already. I knew it completely and resolutely.
We both concentrated back on the painting of our mugs, conversation back to being light and meaningless.
The evening tingled by.
Eventually it was time to make our way back to the car, maybe slightly tipsy from the multiple drinks we'd indulged in.
I admired my freshly glazed piece in my hands, it turned out really well if I did say so myself.
They had an express glaze available so we already had our finished glossy pieces. The stars nearly sparkled on mine.
"Here, we should do swopsies. To remember the day." I felt light and generous after how much fun I'd had.
"You sure?" Arien eagerly eyed my mug.
"Totally."
We both smiled, "Thank you, it's perfect."
I shrugged, it was okay. I couldn't help the swell of gratefulness that I'd had someone to do the activity with. I'd been alone for long enough, I decided that I didn't want to be on my own any longer.
Even if it was just with Arien.
I knew what I wanted to live a little. With other people around.
Once back in the car and headed home, the sleepiness hit.
Arien didn't seem to know any music, as if he'd never turned on a radio in all his days."I can't believe you've never listened to The Killers, I'm gonna start you off with the hits but not Mr Brightside - the populous had ruined that forever."
I fiddled with the Bluetooth controls, struggling with the too fancy controls.
He pulled my fingers away from the dials, "Let me help you, we'll be home by the time you figure the Bluetooth out."
"Very funny," I spoke drily, "it's this stupidly fancy car, what even happened to aux cables anyways?"
Arien laughed at my ineptitude of getting the controls to work, now grabbing my phone as he tried to get it connected.
Just as soon as it left my hands, and before I could look back up, I felt the car swerve.
Looking between the road and Arien, his eyes focused back on the road as he tried to wrangle to wheel and vehicle back under control.
I think I caught as flash of something running past us but I couldn't tell in the too dark night, and everything was happening in a flash. All I could see were the flashes of road caught in the headlights path.
A road that we were now wildly veering off into the darkened night, sure to collide with one of the massive trees lining the road.
Shit.