Chapter 38
THIRTY-EIGHT
Staring out at the city surrounding me, I waited for some emotion to hit me. With only hours left until I boarded a plane to London, this was the last time I’d stand in this office, the last time I would call New York City my home. However, it was hard to feel any sort of loss when I was barely surviving.
When the partners called me in to announce my promotion, I was sick to my stomach. It only got worse when I exited the conference and was met with the sight of Calla’s deserted desk. It was as if the last remnants of my heart had been reduced to ashes. She’d left without saying goodbye, not a minute to spare for one last moment together. It would have been a solace to believe she didn’t care, but I knew the truth. She was as shattered as I was, both of us bearing the wounds of a relationship that had left us battered and bruised.
That had been almost a month ago. A month without her laugh, thirty days without her color igniting my world, and it was already clear that I would never move on from Calla Winters .
There were so many times I walked into Allen’s temporary office, ready to hand in a resignation letter of my own. But Calla’s words played out in my mind, reminding me that this was what I had worked for. If I turned down the job, not only would I be disappointing my mother, but Calla’s sacrifice would have been for nothing. I owed it to both of them to give this a shot, to see if I was meant to take this path.
As I kept studying the city’s skyline, trying to commit each detail to memory, a soft knock came on my door. “Come in,” I called out, not bothering to turn around.
“Wow,” a familiar voice called out. “This is a far cry from the mailroom.”
My brow furrowed, shocked when I turned around to see Natalie darkening my door. It had been years since we stood in the same room, and all our communication was going through our lawyers. She’d left me countless messages over the past few months, but I never bothered to respond, leaving that part of my life behind.
“Nat,” I sighed, running my hand over my face. “What are you doing here?”
“I had some business in New York, so I figured I’d come to check in on you.” She stepped closer to me, gripping the handle of her bag. “You haven’t returned any of my calls.”
“I know, I just?—”
“I get it,” Natalie cut me off. “Everything between us has been so tense; I can’t say I wouldn’t have ignored your calls either. But I need to speak with you, and this seemed like the next best option.”
“Is this about my alimony payments?”
“Nothing like that,” she chuckled. “But I got an offer on the house, and we agreed that if I sold, you would get half the profits. I need your signature before I can agree to their terms.”
“Shit.” I rubbed my hand over my forehead. “Do you have it with you?”
She nodded, opening her purse to pull out a stack of documents. I placed them on top of one of my boxes, reading through all the details. Natalie paced the room as I read, looking through all the boxes. “Are you moving?”
“Yeah, to London.”
“London,” she sighed. “Same old Theo. Always on the go.”
I ignored the barb, not having the heart to battle it out with Natalie anymore. In truth, the animosity between us was born out of hurt feelings and poor communication, and there was no reason to continue that toxic pattern. Before Calla, I would have called my ex-wife the one who got away, but now I knew that wasn’t true. We were a lesson, one we should have learned without trying to crush each other. But now that I knew what love was supposed to feel like, I realized I never gave Natalie my all, never loved her the way she deserved.
I exhaled slowly. “I want to apologize.”
Natalie wasn’t expecting that, because she flinched like she’d been struck. She shook her head. “I’m sorry, what?”
“I’m sorry, Nat,” I repeated. “I’ve been holding onto this resentment ever since we got divorced, and I’m finally realizing it was more about me than it ever was about you. Because of how I treated you while we were married.” I ran my hand over my hair and leaned forward on my desk. “I promised you that I would make you a priority, and it never happened. Instead, I buried myself in work, especially when our relationship started to get rocky.”
Natalie shifted in her heels and cleared her throat. “ Wow, Theo. Thank you for that. I honestly didn’t know how much I needed to hear that until now.” She offered me a half-hearted smile. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry too. I let resentment get the better of me, and it became toxic.”
“We were never meant to work, no matter what we tried. I want you to be happy, Nat.” I glanced down at her finger, which now held a giant diamond ring. “It seems like you are?”
She nodded, tucking her chin to hide her blush. “I am. Blake. He’s a great guy.”
“Blake? What is this guy, some money manager from the eighties?” I joked.
Natalie smirked back at me. “Actually, no. He’s a real estate agent. He’s the one selling the house. When he did the first walk-through, he asked me out to dinner.” She looked down at her ring and smiled. “We’re getting married next month.” She winked at me. “You’ll be off the hook for any alimony checks.”
“Thank fuck for that,” I chuckled. “If I ever meet this guy, I’m shaking his hand.”
“What about you?” Natalie asked. “Any women in your life?”
I cleared my throat. “There was.”
She arched a manicured brow at me. “What did you do?”
“It doesn’t matter.” Natalie placed her hands on her hips, able to see through my lies. After years together, she knew my tells, having heard enough of my excuses to read the lies. With her staring at me, I finally snapped, unleashing the words I’d been holding back. “She was my assistant.”
“I knew it.” Natalie smirked. “That girl was too protective of you just to be an employee. ”
“Yeah, well, we were trying to keep it under wraps because it was against the rules. But someone reported us, and the partners told me I’d have to transfer offices. They offered me a promotion to sweeten the deal. I wanted to say no, but Calla wouldn’t let me. She thought if I didn’t take the job, I’d start to resent her, that it was the wrong way to begin our lives together.”
“And that’s not how you feel?”
“I don’t know,” I answered honestly. “I see her logic, and I know why she feels that way, but every fiber of me is screaming that this is the wrong choice.” As the words fell from my tongue, the stronger they felt. “Ever since Calla left, I’ve just been going through the motions, not really living without her. I can live without this place, without this job. God knows I’ve worked my way up from nothing before. But none of it matters if she’s not there to celebrate with me.” I smirked to myself. “I’m such a fucking idiot.”
Natalie smiled at me. “Then why are you sitting in here talking to me? Go get her. And make sure you rehearse that speech a few times. Really get in there and grovel.”
“Shit,” I hissed. “I’ve got to go. I have to tell Jack–”
“Wait, Jack? As in Jack Fischer? The one from your old office?” She grimaced as she leaned back against the wall. “I didn’t know you were still working with him.”
“Why do you say it like that?”
“I don’t know,” she sighed. “Jack always gave me a bad feeling. He would say all the right things to your face, but there was always a hint of animosity there. Jealousy, maybe?” She shrugged. “I never liked that you two were so close, but it wasn’t my place to say.”
“And you were kind of hoping he’d screw me over?”
She smiled boldly at me. “Maybe a little.”
I shook my head. “Jack would never– ”
But the rest of the words wouldn’t come. Looking back, he was the only person I told about Calla, the only one who knew the truth about us. I thought we’d been caught by accident, but what if that wasn’t the case? I never suspected that Jack would betray me, not when he was pushing me to take the risk the entire time.
Calla tried to warn me, to tell me that something about him made her uncomfortable, but I let our past speak for itself, not stopping to wonder about Jack’s motives and his shady antics.
“That motherfucker.”
Natalie headed toward the door. “I know that face, and I’m getting out of here before you confront Jack. But Theo? Do me a favor? Tell Calla you love her, because every day that you wait is another day she’s starting to move on. And that’s not what you want, is it?”
“Fuck that,” I growled. “We’re not done.”
“Good.” Natalie arched a brow. “So go, Theo. I’m only forgiving you if you promise to make it work this time. Learn from our mistakes.”
My mind was completely blank as I walked down the hall, leaving a trail of smoldering ashes in my wake. On most days, one or two people would try to stop me to chat, but today, no one even looked in my direction. That was good. I had one task on my mind, and God help the person who got in my way.
When I got to Jack’s office, I headed straight for the door, ignoring his assistant as she asked if he was expecting me. Her voice was like a low whine, unable to break past the buzzing in my head. The beast within me needed vengeance, and it wouldn’t stop until I got what I was owed.
As I stepped into Jack’s office, he stiffened the moment we made eye contact. He held up his hands. “Look, I don’t know what you heard…”
It didn’t matter. Not when my fist had already connected with his nose, feeling the satisfying crunch beneath my knuckles. “Fuck!” Jack screamed out, pulling a cloth to his nose. “What the hell was that for?”
I got an inch away from his face, pointing my finger so close to his eye that one wrong move, and it would make contact. “I trusted you, asshole. I told you about Calla because you were my friend, and then you turned around and sold us out? For what? So you could have the corner office?” I shook my head, my breathing heavy. “If you wanted the job so fucking badly, take it. I’m just glad I’m finally seeing your true colors after all these years.”
Jack laughed, the sound low and full of condemnation. “Who I am? That’s rich coming from you, buddy.” He grabbed a tissue and slid it under his nose, pulling it back to see blood still draining from it. He hissed as he placed it back, staring at me with the promise of vengeance in his eyes. “Do you even remember how you heard about the New York job?” I searched my memory, unable to recall what had happened. “It was from me,” Jack continued. “It was supposed to be mine. But then you went and got yourself a few big-name clients, and suddenly, my name didn’t mean shit. You took it from me, Theo, and you never even thought twice about it. I tried to be the bigger person, tried to get over it. But then you started acting like you were better than me, and I said fuck it. You took my promotion from me, I was going to take everything from you. Your job, your girl, anything if it meant knocking you off your game.” He laughed again. “And honestly, you should be thanking me for getting you away from Calla. That girl was poison, killing all your drive. If she’d stuck around any longer, you would have been left with nothing. For what?”
My hands clenched at my sides, and I was so fucking tempted to hit him again. Tempted to go to Allen and tell him everything. But none of it mattered, not while Calla was out there, thinking that I could live without her. As I looked over at Jack crumbled in his chair, I shook my head. “I feel so fucking sorry for you, Jack. You have no idea what it means to love someone like that, to have someone see you at your worst and still decide that you’re worthy.” Jack shook his head as I turned away from him. “Keep the job. I don’t give a shit. I hope it’s everything you hoped it would be.”
“And where the fuck do you think you’re going?” Jack called out.
“I’m going to get my girl back.”