Chapter 19 Dolly
DOLLY
I’m growing wet between my thighs. I wish it were Sam talking dirty to me, but Ropes is sexy, and he has the dirtiest mouth I’ve ever heard. With Sam in the room with me, the act makes me feel … hot. And a little naughty.
“What do you want to watch?” he asks in a gravelly voice.
I squirm under the fluffy knit blanket. “I’m good with whatever.”
He licks his lips, but doesn’t look at me before selecting From Dusk Till Dawn. I’ve never seen it. Unusual boldness overtakes me, and I start furiously tapping on my phone screen.
@redreads
I want to practice giving head to you.
@ropesandchainsexciteme
Come on, baby. You can do better than that. What do you want?
I squeeze my thighs together, trying to control my breathing. Sam is still sitting over there, watching the movie and scrolling on his phone.
He doesn’t know what you’re doing.
The anonymity of the dating app is fueling my uncharacteristic boldness. I’ve never been so forward with a guy.
@redreads
I want to make you come with my tongue and my mouth. And I want to swallow it.
Sam clears his throat. I glance over to see him looking up at the TV, but he’s clutching his phone in his hand. He’s been on it for most of the movie.
Probably texting Keely.
@ropesandchainsexciteme
Have you ever done it before?
@redreads
No. The most I’ve ever done is kiss someone with tongue.
@ropesandchainsexciteme
I guess we’ll need to start there then. We’ll do lots of kissing before we move on. But once you’re ready, I’ll taste you first. There’s lots of tongue involved with giving head. For both of us. And sucking.
@redreads
I don’t know if I want it to be done to me. I would rather give it.
@ropesandchainsexciteme
If the right man is doing it, you’ll love it.
@redreads
But will he like it? I don’t want it to be a chore.
@ropesandchainsexciteme
He will fucking love it. Eating pussy is one of my favorite parts of sex. I’ll tie you up first, so you have to give yourself up to it. Surrender makes the pleasure more intense.
My mouth dries up. I take a slow sip of chardonnay and watch the movie for a few minutes before responding. Sam gets up to go to the kitchen.
@redreads
How would you tie me up?
@ropesandchainsexciteme
Are you sure you want me to go into detail? I can be intense.
@redreads
Yes, please.
@ropesandchainsexciteme
I’ll start with your hands. I’ll hook them somewhere above your head, like around the post of my bed.
Then I’ll have to tug off those skimpy pajama shorts and see if you’re shaved or natural.
I’ll get some oil and massage your thighs to make sure you’re nice and relaxed for me.
I like to talk during it, up until my mouth is too busy.
So, I’ll tell you how pretty you look, how much I want to make you come so hard that you’ll want to cry.
I’ll tell you that you’re doing so good, lying there like a princess, letting me have fun with your body.
And you’ll get rewarded for it, for being good.
I read the message five times before closing the app and exhaling deeply.
I’m hyperaware of Sam’s presence when he walks back from the kitchen, holding the bottle of wine.
He silently refills my glass. My eyes focus on his hands, the same ones I’ve seen tie up calves with rope.
He’s not looking at me. He’s busy on his phone—again.
I’ve never been this turned on in my life. I’ve read a lot of smut. I’ve touched myself to smut. But being talked to like this by a real man—someone anonymous, who volunteered to help me get over this guy—it’s just different. I need to take a moment to center myself.
I feel my phone buzz. I look down to see another text from Ropes.
@ropesandchainsexciteme
Are you wet for me?
I lick my lips, finding the courage to respond.
@redreads
Yes.
When my glass is full, he sets the bottle down, but doesn’t move away from me.
“Are you ready?” he asks.
My body freezes. I slowly look up at him. His eyes are gleaming in the dim light. I’m worried he can smell my arousal because there’s so much now that I’m afraid I’m leaking on the sofa.
“Ready for what?” My throat is hoarse.
He’s holding a tape measure in his other hand.
“For me to measure you.”
I release the oxygen in my lungs, finding myself nodding.
He steps back, giving me room to stand up as he puts his phone in his pocket.
He walks over to the nearest wall. I try to keep my legs somewhat close together as the sticky arousal grows cold when the cool air touches it.
I finally reach him and press my back up against the drywall. He kneels down in front of me.
Why do I feel guilty? I didn’t do anything wrong.
“What are you doing?” I ask, panic coursing through me. There’s no way he can’t smell me from down there.
“Holding it down.” He inhales.
He inhales.
I bite my bottom lip, squeezing my eyes shut. The movie had a few sexy scenes. Maybe he’ll think it was turning me on. Which isn’t much better, but it’s a preferable explanation to him thinking it has anything to do with him.
Just you sexting a random stranger on a dating app …
He places his foot on the metal base of the tape measure and slowly stands.
He unrolls it until it’s level with the top of my head.
I stare at his Adam’s apple, the faint pine needle scent from him making my insides grow warmer.
It’ll be a miracle if my weak little heart doesn’t give out at any second.
“Hmm.”
“What?” I breathe.
He pulls the yellow tape measure back, his finger showing me exactly how tall I am. Which I already knew. I look at the tape, then back up at him.
“Five foot one and three-quarters of an inch,” he murmurs. “Someone is a little liar.”
He’s looming over me now, his hand braced against the wall behind my head. His blue eyes are perceptive, like he can see right through me.
“You caught me.” I sound like I just ran a half marathon.
For a brief moment, I wonder if he’s going to kiss me.
His gaze snakes over me before landing on my mouth.
His tongue wets his lips. I’m locked in place, anticipation building like a live wire inside me.
I’m such a fool. I’ll always take what he gives me, these little breadcrumbs of attention.
He’s practically been forced to let me move in to watch over me, and now I’m salivating at the proximity of his mouth to mine.
Silly little fool.
I shut my eyes. Seconds crawl by before I feel the absence of his warmth. My nipples pucker from the chill, and I hear the sound of the movie starting up again. When I open my eyes, he’s back in his chair, eyes on the screen like nothing happened. Disappointment crushes my chest.
Of course he’s not going to kiss you.
I make my way back to the sofa and wrap myself up in the blanket. I don’t check to see if Ropes responded to my message. My cheeks are on fire. I’m sick of being the one obsessed with him while he dangles his attention in front of me like a string with a cat.
I’m done with giving him the satisfaction.
I need to get out of this house and away from him. I have plenty of options. Ben wants me to meet up with him again, and this time, I don’t need a chaperone. Maybe I’ll convince Ropes we should take things off the app and into real life.
My resolve to move on gets a little stronger every time I’m faced with Sam’s rejection. Tears prick my eyes, but I blink them away. I despise how easily I keep giving into wanting him. It’s pathetic.
I deserve better, a little voice whispers inside me.