CHAPTER 5 BEN
It's a long way back to Great Falls, particularly since I’ve already made this trip once today.
This time, however, I take my time.
I use my extra ninety minutes in the Scout to think.
But no matter how many times I roll it over in my mind, I keep coming to the same conclusion.
Being with me is too risky for Kaylee.
She was willing to give up what she wanted for me and to make compromises…and I wasn’t.
Not really. Not like she was.
It wasn’t fair to her.
Sure, I was bending on the marriage thing. She’s probably the only person in the universe who could get me to bend on that.
But if she was willing to make sacrifices for me, I need to be willing to do the same. And maybe the ultimate sacrifice is letting her go.
It’s with that thought in mind that I park the Scout in a familiar driveway, get out, and walk to the front door. I draw in a deep breath as I raise my fist and knock.
A minute later, the door opens. “Benny Boy!” A little something inside me twists at the familiarity of her face. This was the right choice. This is the only place I can be right now. She looks around me a little dramatically, and then her eyes move to mine. “Where’s Kaylee?”
I twist my lips. “Can I stay on your couch a few days?”
“Oh no. What happened?”
I close my eyes and shake my head.
I don’t even know how to answer that question.
“Come on in, sugar,” she says, opening the door a little wider to allow me through. She locks the door behind me then tosses her arms around me. It should be more comforting than it is, but I’m not even sure I deserve to feel comforted right now.
I collapse on the couch that’ll be my bed for the next few days.
It’s too small for my large frame, but Gramma doesn’t have a guest room, so this is my only option.
I thought about going to a hotel, but I wanted to come here instead.
Gramma always seems to have the right words to make me feel better.
Except this time, I’m not sure the words actually exist that might make this feel right.
“Talk to me, kid,” Gramma says as she settles onto her recliner.
I blow out a breath. “We were supposed to get married today.”
Her brows practically shoot off her forehead. “My invitation must’ve gotten lost.”
“It was initially just for the press. We told her immediate family, my dad, a planner, and the photographer. That’s it. Our guest list was small since it was just for show anyway, but somewhere along the way, it became real.”
“Of course it did,” she murmurs.
My brows dip. “Why do you say that?”
“I saw you two together. It was as real as it gets. So why’d you say you were supposed to get married today? What’d you do to mess it up?”
“Tatum,” I mutter. “And myself.”
Her brows knit together. “What did that girl do now?”
“She’s blackmailing me.” I lay back and stare up at the ceiling as I tell the story for the very first time. “I cut my arm last week and she somehow got her hands on the towel I tossed after I mopped up the blood. She said if I didn’t end it with Kaylee, she’d use it against me.”
“How? What good is a disgusting towel to her?” she asks, epically confused.
“A woman in Vegas lied about me to the press. She retracted her lies, but Tatum said she’d give that woman the towel and they could act like she tried to defend herself against me. She said if I didn’t end it with Kaylee, she’d find someone to rough Kaylee up, too.”
“Holy snickerdoodles, Benny,” she says. “Call the police!”
I shake my head. “The police won’t do anything about dumb shit like this. It only gives Tatum the attention she wants, and this can’t go to the press.”
“Honey, that’s what the police are there for.”
“The police have actual crimes to deal with. Murders and robberies and assault. Jack had a chick in his house record over twenty conversations with the intent to blackmail, and she got a damn slap on the wrist because the police have bigger issues to deal with. Tatum knows what she’s doing.
I have zero solid evidence against her. It’s all her word against mine, and I’ve learned over the years that it doesn’t matter if I’m a stand-up citizen following the letter of the law or not.
When it’s the word of a woman against an athlete with a padded bank account, the assumption is automatically that the man is guilty and the woman is telling the truth. ”
“But Tatum is lying!” she says, outrage evident in her tone.
I nod. “Yep. And in most cases, the woman is telling the truth. But somehow I’ve managed to surround myself with liars and manipulators, and if it’s their word against mine, they will win.”
“That’s not fair.” She shakes her head and purses her lips.
I lift a shoulder. “It’s part of the life I chose for myself.”
She shakes her head more firmly. “No it isn’t. You chose to play football.”
“And to take on sponsorships and build a brand with a certain sort of reputation. I’ve had companies drop me as their sponsor because of the lies women have told to the media. I can’t afford to allow Tatum to blow this shit up to the press.”
“At the expense of your relationship?” she asks.
I lift a shoulder. “I don’t know, Gram. I tend to think Kay’s better off without me.”
She purses her lips and narrows her eyes at me. “I’ve always said you were too hard on yourself. You need to love yourself first before you can love someone else.” She shakes her head. “Boy, if you really think she’s better off without you, you’re not too smart.”
I make a face at her. “Um, thanks? Way to kick a guy when he’s down.”
“Stop acting like you’re some hero,” she says in the way only my grandmother would ever speak to me.
“Like what you’re doing is what’s best for everybody.
Haven’t you learned yet that you have to fight for what you want in this life?
Nobody is going to hand it to you, least of all when it comes to love. ”
“You and Gramps had it so easy.” I purse my lips petulantly.
Her brows practically shoot off her forehead.
“Excuse me? We did not. He worked long, hard hours. We had two boys to feed and more often than not those kids feasted on the meat about to expire from the diner. I wanted to work, but your grandfather thought it was important for me to be home with the boys. We fought over work and money and how to save enough for your father and uncle to be afforded opportunities we never had growing up. But underlying every single one of those things was love and laughter. If we didn’t have that base, we never would’ve survived.
I never saw that base with your father and mother.
I never saw it with you and Tatum, either.
But with Kaylee?” She shakes her head and points a scary finger at me. “I saw it.”
I blink and stare down at my hands. “Sorry,” I mutter.
She sighs. “You should be.” She stands and moves over toward me.
She kisses the top of my head then moves toward a cabinet.
She pulls out a blanket and tosses it in my direction.
It lands just short of the couch, and she nods toward it and shrugs a little, as if to say sorry, but you didn’t get your athleticism from me.
“But it isn’t me you should be apologizing to. Goodnight, Ben.”
She heads toward her bedroom, and I’m left with her words turning over in my mind.