CHAPTER 6 KAYLEE
“There aren’t any flights tonight, Kay,” Luke says quietly to me in the kitchen. He’s scrolling his laptop, and he glances up at me. “Ellie and I would be happy to go with you in the morning.”
“I just want to be alone,” I reiterate for the hundredth time.
“You know none of us are going to let you go alone.” He gives me a pointed look, and I sigh.
He’s right. I do know that.
It’s not about staying in Ben’s house after what he did. It’s about everyone else rallying around me in a show of support.
Maybe that’s all I have to hang onto in this moment. I’ve spent so much time resenting them for what I felt like were missed opportunities for myself, but I didn’t spend as much time appreciating what we have—especially now, after how close we’ve all become in the last year and a half.
“There are a bunch of open seats on a flight out at two o’clock tomorrow,” Luke says. “Should I book all thirteen of us?”
Luke, Ellie, Nolan.
Jack, Kate, JJ.
Josh, Nicki, Warner.
Carol and Jeb.
Elizabeth, who will be helping to care for the kids.
And me. Alone.
I came here with Ben’s hand in mine, and I’m leaving with nothing.
Nothing.
“Yes,” my mom says curtly.
It’s all been decided. Everybody’s leaving because of this—because of Ben.
“You don’t all have to leave,” I protest.
Nobody says anything.
I sigh, and then I move to drag my suitcase back up to the guest room I pretended was mine for a while. “Let me help you with that,” Jack says as he darts in from the deck.
“Fine,” I mutter. Nobody wants me to do anything. All my decisions are being made for me again.
It’s fine.
Whatever.
Only it’s not fine. For once in this life, I’d love to make decisions for myself.
There aren’t any flights out tonight, anyway, so I’d be sleeping in an airport overnight. But it’d be better than sleeping here where painful memories seem to be hiding around every turn.
Once Jack gets my suitcase back into my room, I thank him. “I’m going to bed. Can you tell everyone to just leave me alone?”
He nods. “You okay?”
“Please don’t ask me that. I’m barely holding it together and I just need a minute to fall apart by myself. Okay?” I bite my lip to keep from crying.
He envelops me into a hug. “If you need anything, we’re right down the hall. Anything, any time of the night. Okay?”
“Love you, Jack.”
“I love you, too, Kay Kay. I’m so sorry he did this to you.”
I don’t respond with words, opting instead to squeeze him a little harder as the wave of emotion crashes into me.
“Get out of here,” I say, my voice coming out hoarse, and he squeezes my shoulder before he leaves.
And then I finally have the moment I need to fall apart.
It’s a fitful night of tossing and turning, happy memories of my time with Ben plowing into me and not having such a happy effect on me.
I need to get out of here, and I already know I can’t land in Vegas.
Not when those same memories plow into me at every angle there, too.
I can’t be faced with the greatest love of my life and allow the fresh loss to plow into me over and over and over.
I could go back to Michigan, I suppose.
But I don’t want to go back there.
I want Ben.
I want to be with Ben.
I want to build a life with him.
I haven’t even begun to think through the consequences of all this.
Once Billy Peters gets wind of the fact that we’ve broken up, we’ll be splashed on every tabloid cover in the grocery aisle and every gossip site across the internet.
Every time I see a picture of the two of us, I’ll get to relive the fresh pain of his words to me today.
Sounds fun. Can’t wait.
My stomach twists at the thought as dawn breaks outside, and I feel like I might get sick again. I lie on the bed and draw in deep breaths through my nose. It seems to help, and I really need to get this concussion thing checked out again when I get back to Vegas.
I take a shower but don’t have the mental energy for make-up and hair, so I pull my wet hair into a ponytail and toss on some sweats before I zip up my suitcase and head downstairs.
Surprisingly, I’m the first one awake. The house is quiet, and I grab a can of Diet Dr Pepper and the box of S’mores since he got me addicted to the stupid cereal. I head out to the deck. It’s peaceful out here this morning, the only sound the birds chirping in the trees of the forest.
This could have been mine. I wanted this to be mine.
But I guess it wasn’t meant to be, and this morning I’m starting to realize that I need to get a grip on reality. It’s all still so fresh, but I need to realize that I can be sad and still try to move forward.
I pick out all the marshmallows and eat them.
If nothing else, I’ll leave him with a box of cereal that doesn’t have any marshmallows in it.
It’s cruel, maybe, and it doesn’t make me feel much better, but it’s a tiny act of passive-aggressive revenge.
A small way to let him know how much he hurt me.
I check my email as I’m sipping my soda, and I spot one from Ellie that was forwarded to me last night.
I glance at her note at the top.
Interesting opportunity that caught my eye for you.
Begin Forwarded Message:
Dear Ellie,
StrongFitKids partners with the San Diego Unified School District to provide health, fitness, and athletic information to build active and healthy lifestyles.
We’re looking for a new co-programming director who would also be willing to serve as a spokesperson at many of our events, and we feel that your client Kaylee Dalton is exactly what we’re looking for.
With her background in teaching and curriculum design paired with her inside track into pro football, we’re very interested in opening a dialogue.
If you’d like more information, please reply to this email.
Best,
Carla Washington
StrongFitKids CEO
I reread the words a few times before they settle into my brain.
When one door closes, another opens…right?
Ben slammed our door shut last night, and that affects everything. Does he still want me to run the kids’ program at Tight Fit? Do I even have a job anymore?
Will I be able to continue with the Instagram sponsorships if I’m not dating the football player anymore?
These are all questions I haven’t even begun to address, and yet a new job opportunity is staring me in the face.
One that might allow me to make a positive contribution to the world while doing something I’m interested in doing.
I’d be working with kids, which is what I wanted, and I’d still be teaching them—just in a new capacity.
And not only that…it’s in San Diego. It’s a place where I can escape the smothering I felt last night that was disguised as support. It’s a place where I can choose my own future rather than having everything chosen for me.
It certainly is an interesting opportunity. I just have to decide whether I want to take it.