Chapter Three Ren #3
I bowed my head. For a second, I couldn’t speak. The day before, I’d run without direction, without thought, toward power. Power that I’d been told might want to destroy me. Instead, I’d found safety. Sanctuary.
And I’d found Xavier. I was still a little leery of what that meant, but I was glad to call him my friend.
“Thanks, Tobias,” I said when I was able to find words. “Seriously. I didn’t know where I was going when I ran from those guys yesterday. I’m thankful that I ended up here.”
“So am I.”
That brought a fresh burst of tears to my eyes, and I put my head down again. The Anax didn’t say a word. Neither did Xavier, who came back into the kitchen when Davion got back with the food. Everyone gave me space, but I felt all of them, simply there, letting me be.
It was good. Strange. Unexpected. But good.
After that, things got a little chaotic.
The Anax’s mate, a guy named Kyle with a completely warped sense of humor, showed up, along with the rest of the guards and some humans who would be responsible for food prep for the gathering the Anax had mentioned.
Humans he’d sworn to secrecy about us, from what Xavier told me.
They had to have humans to handle cooking and such because on full moon night, all the werewolves would have to shift, but we would still need to eat.
The day after the guards and humans showed up, guests for the gathering started arriving.
I ate supper with them, listening and smiling at what I hoped were the right times when the Arkhon of the Northwest Region, Paul something, talked with me about TV shows we watched and his home state of Oregon.
I’d always wanted to go to Oregon, but obviously traveling wasn’t something I’d had a chance to do much of.
When I said so, Paul invited me to visit him at some point.
Xavier didn’t like that. With him sitting beside me, I felt it.
Maybe through that bond he’d mentioned, or maybe just because I’d gotten used to having to judge how people felt.
It wasn’t a possessive, angry kind of jealousy, but more something fear-based.
I was his mate, and he was afraid someone would take me away from him.
Realizing that, I tried to focus more on him, and he smiled and joined the conversation.
But a few times, I couldn’t help pulling away from him, staring down at my plate. I didn’t belong here, with these…these diplomats, I guessed? I couldn’t think of another term for the two arkhons, Northwest and Northeast, sitting here with us. I didn’t belong. Even though I wanted to.
After supper, Xavier, with permission from Seth, the head of the guards, escorted me out to the guest house where the Anax wanted me to stay.
I didn’t want to go. My little room—well, the little room I’d used the night before—was safe.
This house was yards away from the main house.
I would be alone. Exactly what the Anax had promised I didn’t have to be anymore.
Plus Xavier was in the main house. He couldn’t stay in the guest house with me.
His job was to protect the Anax, not me.
The pang in my chest when I thought about being away from him…
that had to be the pain he’d mentioned. If the Anax had known Xavier and I were mates, he wouldn’t have ordered me to be way out here. Right?
But the Anax didn’t know, and I couldn’t come up with a reason to refuse his instructions.
He wanted me in the guest house because I wasn’t part of his gathering.
I was just the guy he’d offered sanctuary to.
Important werewolf leaders would show up for the main event, and I understood the Anax not wanting me around them.
Maybe the guest house would be okay. Maybe there would be a small room in that building where I could feel as safe as I did in the little room where I’d slept.
“Were you upset at dinner?” I asked Xavier as we walked. I didn’t really want to discuss it, but I wouldn’t be able to stay out in that house away from him without knowing for sure.
“What?” He looked down at me and moved just slightly closer. Having his large body so close to mine felt safe—and at the same time, dangerous. “When?”
“When that Arkhon was talking to me.” I stared down at the ground, which was a good thing because if I hadn’t looked down just then, I would have tripped over a fallen branch. I kicked it out of the way. “You felt upset.”
“Oh, shit, I’m sorry.” He took a loud breath. “My wolf was. Not me, the human.”
“Because we’re mates.” Maybe I was getting the hang of this wolf thing. At least Xavier’s explanation made sense, for some value of “sense.” The mate bond was between the wolves, if I’d understood Xavier’s explanation right. So the wolf got mad if someone else paid attention to his mate.
“Yeah,” Xavier said. “Because we’re mates. We’re friends for right now, and the wolf isn’t thrilled about that either, but he accepts it. Accepting someone else flirting with you, though…”
“Flirting?” My voice rose. “The Arkhon wasn’t flirting. We like some of the same shows. And I’ve always wanted to see Oregon and Washington, and he lives in Oregon.”
“Whoa.” He held up a hand and spun in front of me to face me.
Abruptly, I stopped and took a step back.
He didn’t look or feel angry right now, but that was no guarantee he wouldn’t go off on me.
“I know you and he weren’t flirting, Ren. I’m not making any accusations. It’s a wolf thing. My problem, and I’m dealing with it. And I said I’m sorry.”
“Yeah.” He had apologized. I couldn’t decide whether that made it any better. “Is it always going to be like that? I talk to another guy and your wolf goes off?”
“I hope not.” He turned and started walking again. “If it is like that, just know it isn’t what I’m thinking. You have a right to talk to whoever. I don’t have any claim on you.”
The way he said “claim” struck me. “You want to.”
“I want to what?” He glanced over his shoulder. “Come on. We should get you over to the house.”
I caught up with him. “You want to claim me.”
“My wolf does, yeah.” He shook his head.
“Ren, it’s not happening. Not until you’re comfortable. At the very least, not until this gathering is over. Even when I’m off duty, I have to stay on top of things here. There might be threats against the Anax. If anyone’s going to challenge, it’ll happen here.”
“Challenge?”
I didn’t really want to change the subject, but Xavier sounded relieved when he answered. “How people rise through the ranks in our world. Everyone starts at the lowest rank in their pack, if they’re in a pack. They change rank by challenging the next person to a fight. The winner takes the rank.”
“And the loser?” I didn’t actually want the answer, but too late. I’d asked.
“Depends,” Xavier said. “For lower ranks, the loser just takes the rank that the winner had. They switch, basically. For Alpha and above…” He hesitated. “The loser doesn’t survive, generally. It’s a fight to the death.”
I stopped again, my heart pounding. “The Anax might die?”
“Unlikely.” Xavier turned around. “Breathe, Ren. It isn’t happening right now. It might not happen at all. There are people who want the Anax gone, so someone might challenge him, but maybe they won’t. He didn’t win the rank by being weak. He’s a strong fighter.
Some won’t challenge him because they know they can’t defeat him. If anyone did challenge, odds are he would win.”
I didn’t answer. If the Anax lost a challenge, he would die. Obviously I didn’t know every werewolf in the country, but I was willing to bet that anyone who would challenge the Anax wouldn’t be too keen on keeping a random trans werewolf around.
“I shouldn’t have said anything.” Xavier came back to me and stood close, so close my neck hurt from looking up at him.
But I felt the heat of his body, warming me, pushing away the fear, and I didn’t care about my aching neck.
“You’ll be all right, Ren. Whatever happens. The Anax won’t lose a fight, but if for some reason he does, I will make sure you have a place to go. I’ll take care of you. I promise.”
Words I’d heard once before. That guy hadn’t taken care of me. Pretty much the exact opposite. I’d sworn I would never again believe anyone who made that promise.
But I believed Xavier. His word wasn’t like the Anax’s. No sense of power. Nothing that told me he couldn’t break the vow. He simply wouldn’t. I knew he wouldn’t.
“Thank you,” I said softly.
He nodded. “You good?”
“I don’t know.” We started walking again. I stayed as close to him as the narrow path allowed. “I’ll be the only one in the guest house, right? Because the Boston packs won’t be here until full moon night?”
“You aren’t alone,” he said.
We reached the house. He led me up the steps and opened the door. A flick of his finger turned on a bright lamp that didn’t do much to reassure me. The house was bigger than anyplace I’d ever lived. And other than that room, it was dark.
“Come in.” Xavier stepped through the doorway and looked at me expectantly.
“Yeah.” I entered and looked around. The place was nice. Decorated. Expensive. I couldn’t believe the Anax was letting me stay here by myself.
By myself. With no one around. Being alone didn’t usually bother me, but sometimes at night, solitude was more than I could handle.
“I don’t know if this is going to work.” I didn’t mean for Xavier to hear me.
Of course, he did. He was standing right next to me. “You aren’t alone,” he said again. “If you can’t deal with being here, call me. Or text, if that’s easier.”
“I don’t have a phone.” I’d lost my phone months ago thanks to an asshole at one of the shelters I’d stayed in.
He took his phone from his pocket and held it out. “Here. You know how to use it?”
“Yeah. I was homeless, not clueless.” I was a little stunned. Maybe he did mean it when he said he would take care of me. “Is there a passcode?”
“Just a sec.” He moved his finger over the screen a few times, then held the phone out again.
“No passcode now. If you need anything, contact Laurits, Benjy, or Yovanny. They’re on duty at night. Laurits is in charge of the night crew. Someone will get me or they’ll come out here themself. If you need to come back to the main house, I’ll make sure there’s a spot for you.”