30. Luke
THIRTY
LUKE
“Mr. Luke?” a soft, boyish voice said as I turned the hot dogs on the grill. The older of Maggie’s two nephews, Ollie, stood inside the open gate that separated my deck from hers. He had his dad’s dark brown curly hair, but his mom’s blue eyes. The same sky-blue color as Maggie’s.
“Hey bud, what’s up?”
“Are you going to marry Auntie Maggie?”
A hot dog slipped from my tongs and nearly fell between the grates. I scrambled to rescue it half a second before it became a lost cause.
“Ollie, I thought you had to pee,” Ethan said, dropping his hands onto his son’s shoulders and steering him toward the direction of Maggie’s back door.
“Sorry about that,” he said to me as the kid scampered inside.
“We spent a lot of time explaining what a wedding was. He’s still a little confused about the whole change of plans. ”
I gripped my tongs tighter as the memory of Maggie in that tattered wedding dress appeared in my mind. I braced for the painful twisting in my chest, but to my surprise, nothing happened. No clamping of my throat, no racing pulse, no blackening at the edge of my vision.
Huh.
“He was supposed to be the ring bearer,” Ethan explained, no doubt to fill the silence that I hadn’t. “He was pretty excited about the whole thing.”
“It’s an important role,” I agreed.
“That’s what we told him. He never met Maggie’s ex, so I don’t think he quite understands that you’re not the groom.”
“Did you meet him?”
I didn’t have a right to ask that question, and the beat of hesitation seemed to suggest Ethan agreed. But he answered anyway.
“Just once. Vi and I took a vacation with them once, about two years ago, to Glacier National Park.” Ethan glanced at the group ringed around the firepit below and folded his arms over his chest. “The guy bitched the whole time because we weren’t at some beach resort instead.
He wasn’t really a nature guy. Between you and me, I’m glad she’s rid of him. Violet is too.”
My gaze drifted to Maggie in the yard below.
She sat sideways in a camping chair, legs draped over one of the arms, a blanket wrapped around her like a burrito.
There was no fire in the firepit yet—that would come later with the s’mores—but she was holding court with her sister and Walter while the other boy—Carson—chased Ellie around the yard, a sock dangling from her mouth.
Everything about this moment was perfect.
Everything except that it was temporary.
“Want me to grab you a beer?” Ethan offered.
“Thanks.” I nodded toward my door. “In the door of the fridge.”
The sound of Maggie’s laughter echoed, and I looked down in time to catch her head tossed back, her long honey-tinted hair grazing the grass. I don’t know how long I watched her, only that when I heard footsteps behind me, I’d burned one of the hot dogs.
“She seems to be doing good,” Ethan said as he twisted off the cap and handed me a bottle. I didn’t know what to say to that, so I took a sip of the spiced-apple-flavored beer I picked up at the Grizzly Grocer earlier. “I know Violet appreciates you looking out for her.”
“They’re close,” I said as Ollie sprinted out Maggie’s back door and raced down the deck steps to join his brother in chasing Ellie.
Maggie hopped up from her chair, abandoning her blanket and joining the chaos.
Laughter, barking, and little feet stomping over leaves echoed.
It was the kind of noise my backyard hadn’t heard in years.
“Practically attached at the hip,” Ethan agreed. “It’s been a while since Maggie’s been back in Michigan for more than a quick visit. Violet’s excited for her to stay for a while. She told you she’s staying with us to entertain the boys after the baby comes?”
“She did.”
“Those two are overdue for some quality sister time. And honestly, I’m relieved we’re going to have some help when our baby girl gets here. You’d think it gets easier with each one, but the truth is, the chaos dial just gets turned up a little more each time. Can you believe we want a fourth?”
“You’re having a girl?” I asked, searching my memory to recall whether Maggie shared that detail with me.
“Actually, we don’t know. Violet refused to find out the sex, and I wasn’t going to argue. I know better than that.” He laughed. “But I just have a feeling about this one.” Ethan took a swig of his beer. “You want kids, man?”
“I did.”
Maggie caught me staring and smiled up at me. My pulse doubled. A simple curve of her lips and the walls I’d fortified around my heart kept crumbling one by one. Maggie winked at me before she grabbed the sock from Ellie and ran. The boys and pup chased her around the perimeter.
It would be so easy—and so incredibly reckless—to fall for the woman who was always going to leave.
“What changed?” Ethan asked.
I focused on flipping the burgers. “She left. Things didn’t work out.”
“So you’re going to let one woman decide the rest of your life?” His question was laced with challenge.
“I thought so,” I mumbled.
“Look, I get it. I’ve been there, too. But then I met Vi, and everything just . . . made sense.”
Ethan’s gaze landed on his wife who was still bundled in a blanket on a camping chair, chatting it up with Walter.
She snagged Carson as he ran by and wrapped both arms around him, kissing him loudly on the cheek.
The boy giggled and squirmed. She got in one more kiss before he escaped to rejoin the chaos.
Ethan looked at his wife the same way I’d so often caught Dad looking at Mom—with a sort of reverence.
I plated the burgers and hot dogs, nearly dropping one when Maggie squealed.
“Want me to take those down?” Ethan offered.
“Yeah, thanks.”
The patio table was beneath the deck as it wasn’t large enough to fit with the divider between the units.
I considered, not for the first time, removing the deck divider altogether.
When I purchased the duplex three years ago, the long-term goal had always been to turn it into one big house.
But then Raquel left and the extra space seemed wasteful for a bachelor when I could continue renting it out instead.
Now, after one brief conversation with a man I met literal hours ago, I was picturing a yard full of kids of my own, a dog or two, and a woman standing beside me on the deck, tucked into my arms, watching the wonderful madness below.
The only problem?
That woman was Maggie, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t seem to picture anyone else.
“I’ll be down in a few,” I called to Ethan, suddenly overwhelmed. I needed a beat to recover myself before I joined everyone. “Don’t wait for me to eat.”
I slipped inside and pressed my palms against the sharp-edged counter, willing the pain to center me.
How had this woman who drove me up a fucking wall only a week ago shimmied her way through all my layers of ice?
Falling for her would be one of the stupidest things I’d done, and that list was embarrassingly long.
A blind man could see how much she loved her family, how much she belonged with them. I could never provide her with that kind of happiness. Not with all the bitterness I clung to like a lifeline.
And yet, a faint voice kept whispering in the back of my mind.
Ask her to stay.
I wouldn’t. Not today. Not even on the eve of her leaving.
I wouldn’t put her in a position to choose between her family and some grumpy asshole she’d hardly known a week.
But keeping my distance was something I was no longer capable of doing.
I yearned for that smile when I couldn’t see it.
I longed for a whiff of the same floral perfume that lingered on my shirt from last night.
I craved the taste of her silky sweet skin as though it was some addictive elixir.
I was a fucked man.
“Luke?”
For a beat, I was convinced Maggie’s voice wasn’t real. That I conjured the sound simply because I missed it.
“Everything okay?”
“Yep,” I said, pushing off the counter and pulling open a drawer to fish through.
It would be the junk drawer that offered little more than stamps, a hammer, and rubberbands. I pushed it closed wondering how long I’d been standing here if someone thought to come look for me.
“I’m sorry if my family’s a little much, but I did warn you.”
“Is that what you think?” I asked, turning around.
She shrugged. “You’ve been hiding, so yeah, kind of.”
Fuck. How long was I up here exactly? “Sorry, I’m coming—” I caught the glimmer of moisture in her eyes and moved across the kitchen, closing the distance in three strides. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” she said, smiling despite the tear that rolled down her cheek. “I swear, it’s nothing bad. I’m just a little . . . overwhelmed.” She let out a weak chuckle, but her smile stayed steadfast.
I reached for her elbows, fighting the urge to tug her all the way into my arms.
“I just found out that Walter . . .” She shook her head, swiping at another stray tear. “You know how he served in Korea, like my grandpa?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, turns out he didn’t just serve in the same conflict.
They knew each other, Luke. They were in the same unit at the same time, and I’m just .
. . I’m just stunned.” Tears rolled down her cheeks in quick succession.
“I swear, these are happy tears. We just connected the dots, and I’m overwhelmed in a good way. ”
I pulled her against my chest, wrapping my arms snuggly around her back. Moisture soaked my T-shirt as she tucked her face against my chest. I rested my chin on her head, stroking her back.
“Do you know how many Korea veterans are left? Less than ten percent. And yet, Walter, who just happens to live across the street from the random condo I rent in the random town I decide to hide out in to figure out my life was in my grandpa’s unit.
If it wasn’t for Ellie being born here, I wouldn’t even know this place existed. ”
“I think that’s pretty cool,” I said, pressing my hand against her head to keep her snug against my chest.
Fuck, had anything ever felt better than having Maggie Holland in my arms?
No way I’m getting out of this unscathed.
“I’m going to do it,” Maggie said, looking up at me.
“Do what?”
“Enter the chili cookoff. I think Grandpa would like that.”
“I think that’s a great way to honor his memory.”
“I’m still not sure what I did wrong with the last batch,” she admitted, wiping at the moisture on her cheeks.
“If you need a guinea pig to help you taste test, I know one who lives next door.”
“Actually, I was hoping you’d do it with me.”
“Do what?”
“Enter the chili cookoff. A little birdie told me you’ve been known to make a pretty good chili when you want to.” She lifted her cheek from my chest, locking those baby-blue eyes with mine. “I don’t want to enter the contest alone. Will you do it with me?”
It might be the way she was looking at me with such hope in her eyes, or the way she was gripping my shirt like she wanted to be closer to me still. Or it might be that I was a screwed man who’d never be able to say no to this woman, no matter how much it might cost me in the end.
“Of course I will.”
“Thank you!” she cheered, throwing both arms around my neck and hugging me tightly. She let go too soon, and her absence felt like the first cold wind before winter. “Ready to go downstairs?”
“You go. I’ll be right down.”
“Don’t wait too long. The food’ll get cold.”
I nodded as she slipped out the door.
Yeah, I was going to fall hard. And for the first time since she crashed into my quiet, mundane life, I couldn’t bring myself to care how fucking much it’d hurt when she left.