Chapter 23 Claire #2
I resist the temptation to add, a lot … and not just on the mouth.
“And when did you start … dating?” Daisy asks.
“We’re not dating, and we never were. Like Claire said before, she’s not interested in me that way,” he continues, and I nearly call him out for gaslighting me before remembering I’m the one who’s been feeding him that lie.
“Now, are you satisfied?” Rowan turns to ask Landry, but he doesn’t wait for an answer as he stands and begins collecting dishes. Landry sighs, looking slightly remorseful.
“It’s getting late. We should probably clean up,” Rowan adds on his way to the kitchen, and I realize I’ve missed my opportunity to escape once I see the look on Daisy’s face.
“Did you really not know about the whole celibacy thing?” Daisy whispers, gesturing in Rowan’s direction.
“No. And I already feel stupid enough for not figuring it out until tonight,” I mumble.
“That’s what you meant about Rowan not being perfect, then. He lied to you.” Landry states it as a fact, because he can’t help but reiterate their findings.
I roll my eyes. “He definitely withheld some of the truth.”
“Wow. And you couldn’t tell?” Landry’s brow lifts.
Daisy shoves him. “Seriously, Landry? That’s what you’re worried about? You don’t think he’s been beating himself up over whatever this is? You know Rowan. I’m sure the guilt has been eating away at him.”
I click my tongue. “You’re not making me feel any better, either, for the record.”
She cringes. “Sorry, it’s just that we’re not used to watching Rowan make mistakes.”
“Yeah. I can see that.”
And I guess I’m his first and only mistake, I add in my mind. Because it’s obvious they wouldn’t find this whole thing so amusing or scandalous if I weren’t the one responsible for ruining Rowan’s reputation.
The sound of the front door nearly slamming makes all three of us flinch.
“So, uh … who’s going outside to talk to the slut?” Landry poses after a while.
“Not it,” I say quickly, mostly because I’m afraid he’ll turn this into another one of those times when I end up sharing too much about myself and getting overly emotional, and this one is about him.
“I love my brother, but I’m not sure I’m the right person to talk to him about this,” Daisy retorts.
“Fine, I’ll go,” Landry says on an exhale. “But one of you will need to be on standby for when I inevitably say something that makes him feel worse.”
“Didn’t take Landry Reed for a heart-to-heart kind of guy, but he must really have a soft spot for you LaFleurs,” I muse quietly once Daisy and I are left alone.
She frowns. “Claire, I’m sorry my brother wasn’t honest with you.
Regardless of what’s happened between you, you deserve the truth from him.
” She pauses and purses her lips, as if she’s debating whether or not to go on.
“And I know it doesn’t excuse his actions, but I’m sure he was just worried you’d judge him for this, like other women have in the past.”
I scoff. “Or maybe he’s just like every other man and was willing to say anything to get laid.”
“No,” she says, shaking her head. “Rowan’s not like that, and this is such a big part of his identity, a core value for him.”
My stomach churns. If Rowan really is a virgin, and this is truly one of his “core values,” then that might make everything a million times worse. Because it would mean the emotional intimacy I was so certain we’d shared was all one-sided.
“Or maybe he’s not the man either of us thought he was,” I repeat.
“After the way you baited me into talking about my brother when you apparently know him much better than you’ve been letting on, I’m not sure you’re the friend I thought you were, either,” she replies, her expression pained, as if it hurts her to acknowledge it.
And that’s when I break.
“You’re right. I’m sorry, Daisy,” I choke out, my chin trembling.
“If it makes you feel any better, I’ve only been playing dumb for Rowan’s sake, and it’s been killing me not to tell you everything.
” I blow out a breath. “The truth is that he actually called me for help with the whole busted-pipe situation, and he ended up staying over at my place that night, too. But he’s been sleeping in my guest bedroom, I swear. ”
Her eyelashes flutter as she digests the information. “I don’t understand. You’re both adults, and where you sleep is none of my business. But why go through so much trouble to hide the fact that you’re friends?”
I whimper when I realize she’s backed me into a corner again. And while a part of me wants to continue protecting Rowan, I can’t keep lying to Daisy.
“Because he doesn’t want you to find out about the night we met.
” She lifts a brow and gestures for me to continue.
“I guess you could say we felt an instant connection, both emotionally and physically. And while he didn’t go into much detail about his …
religious convictions, I wasn’t entirely forthcoming about my marital status at the time. ”
Her eyes widen. “Does he know?”
“Yes. I ended up spelling it out before the end of the night, and he made it clear that being a few days away from a finalized divorce wasn’t unmarried enough in his book.”
“Oh.”
“We parted ways on some pretty awkward terms after that, thinking we’d never run into one another again, much less share a common acquaintance. Yet, here we are,” I explain, unable to keep the sarcasm from seeping into my tone.
“It’s also why you didn’t come to my bachelorette party, isn’t it?” she asks quietly, and I nod.
“Sorry,” I whisper. The situation with Rowan isn’t the only reason I avoided most of her bridal festivities, but I’m not about to fess up to being jealous of her friendship with Loren or too cowardly to attend any kind of girls-only party in general.
“I guess I understand why neither of you was eager to volunteer the whole story,” she says after a while. “But you’re not married anymore, and there’s obviously something left of that connection you mentioned. Now that you know the truth about Rowan, couldn’t you just … kiss and make up?”
I huff out a laugh. “Us not having a chance might be the only part we were both honest about. Your brother is definitely dating with intention, and I’m only fit for a good time.”
“What makes you think that?” she demands, her tone shifting.
“He seems dead set on finding someone who shares those core values you mentioned, getting married, and starting a family. Which makes me an inconvenient distraction.”
She clicks her tongue, and I’m worried I’ve upset her again. “He didn’t actually say that last part, did he?”
I search my memory and come up short. “I’m paraphrasing. But it’s my fault. I’ve told him a few times I’m not in a position to even consider the kind of relationship he’s looking for. And that’s why we settled on an awkward friendship, I guess.”
“That son of a biscuit eater,” she grumbles, making me smile. “He really is dumber than I thought.”
I chuckle quietly. “In his defense, I wasn’t exactly shy about what I wanted from him that first night. I can’t fault him for paying attention to what kind of woman I am.”
Her expression turns sour again. “And what kind of woman do you think you are? Because as far as I can tell, you’re generous and loyal, you’re intimidatingly beautiful, and you’re constantly putting everyone else’s feelings before your own.
In fact, I can’t rightly understand why the heck you’ve been so nice to Rowan at all, unless it’s because you didn’t want me to worry about him. ”
I look away when her words make my chest tighten and my eyes sting. “I think you’re confusing me with someone else, but it’s still really nice of you to say it.”
“See? You’re humble, too.”
“And you have a knack for seeing the best in people,” I say, standing and collecting the last of the dishes Rowan missed earlier.
“What I have is half a mind to kick my brother’s ass right about now,” she retorts, then claps a hand over her mouth once she hears her own language.
“I appreciate it, but I think I’m capable of handling him on my own,” I fib once I’m done cackling at her. “I’ll just be grateful if you don’t disown me after all this.”
“Claire,” she whines, her eyes watering, and I can’t help it when mine run over at the sight of her.
She scurries around the table and wraps her arms around me, and I sniffle over her shoulder, an empty glass in each of my hands.
“Of course we’re still friends. In fact, Rowan can get in line. I saw you first.”
I laugh through my tears. “You’re still my favorite LaFleur. And the most adorable one, as far as I’m concerned.”
“I’m a Reed now. So it’s perfectly fine if my brother becomes your favorite LaFleur,” she mumbles, squeezing me again before she loosens her grip and steps away. “You do know what all this means, though, right?”
I shake my head as I wipe my nose on my shoulder.
“You could become my favorite LaFleur,” she declares with a grin.
I flash her a rueful smile. “I’m sorry, Daze. But I don’t think I’ll be changing my last name ever again.”
She frowns. “But I’ve already let my imagination run away with the idea of you and Rowan getting married. So you and I could get pregnant at the same time and raise our babies as sibling-cousins, just like Loren and Tenley,” she rambles.
“And how did you manage that when you only found out there was even a possibility of a Rowan and me within the last ten minutes?” I object.
“Oh, no, I’ve been plotting this since you told me you were getting divorced, and then again once I saw you two talking at my wedding reception,” she replies cheerily, and I laugh again, even though my chest aches at her mention of having babies together.
“I really am sorry, but I’m afraid that’s impossible. I love you for dreaming it up, though,” I say, attempting to hide the sadness in my voice.
“I wouldn’t rule it out if I were you,” she continues, ignoring my protest and gesturing for me to follow her into the kitchen. “I’ve got a pretty long and influential list of intercessory prayer contacts.”