Chapter 27 #2
“You’re right. We abandoned you when we didn’t even know you were coming. My bad,” he says dryly. Then he points toward the fire pit. “Alright, Princess. Since you brought half a grocery store with you, you can help me start the fire so we can actually cook some of it.”
“I would love to,” I lie. But it turns out it’s only sort of a lie. Who knew it could be fun to do camping things with John. I’d never come to the woods to do this alone, but with him, it’s not so bad collecting twigs, or “kindling” as he calls it, and trying to get this fire burning.
By the time Liam and Blake come hesitantly back into camp, we’ve got the fire going and some food out on the table.
Blake hops out of the truck first.
“Oh thank God,” he says, spotting the coolers. “Food!”
“The charcuterie is ready for you!” I announce while Liam laughs and shakes his head. Classic.
We spend the next couple hours doing exactly what John described earlier—sitting around, talking, and eating way too many snacks while John and Liam tend to the fire.
At one point, Blake and Liam get into an argument about the rules of some card game I’ve never played before, which leaves John and me leaning back in our chairs watching them like they’re back on Love Without Labels.
“So, is this your typical peaceful camping trip?” I joke.
John chuckles beside me. “Pretty much. But it was definitely quieter when it was just Liam and me.” For a moment, I worry he’s still upset we’re here, but then he nudges his knee into mine and says, “This is nice too… even if you’ve spent most of the evening complaining.”
“That’s because I’m new to this whole country living thing,” I tease.
John shakes his head with a small smile that’s illuminated by the campfire.
He really is captivating, the way his tattoos decorate his skin, his silver hoop shining in his nose, and his messy hair that’s pulled back in his signature bun.
I can’t believe there was ever a time where I didn’t realize I was attracted to him.
“This is actually kind of nice,” Blake admits, lying back in his chair like he’s at a resort instead of the woods, feet propped up on a cooler. “The chickens would’ve loved it.”
“Everything is always about the chickens, huh, baby?” Liam laughs, looking at Blake with obvious love in his eyes.
“Well, yes, they’re my literal children,” Blake explains as if he birthed them himself. “So, why do you guys always come to this spot?”
Blake has no idea he just opened the door to the conversation John has been avoiding for nearly a decade, and I freeze, holding my breath as I wait so see how he’ll react.
I won’t be surprised if John brushes it off or pretends there’s no reason.
I really hope he doesn’t, but it’s already been a big day for him, and he might not be ready for this conversation.
I don’t say anything, just let my hand rest near his on the arm of his chair, close enough that he could reach for it if he wanted to.
The fire pops between us, sparks and ash floating up into the dark sky as the moment stretches on and on.
John must still be processing his question, but finally, he lets out a big breath and nods to himself.
“I first started coming here with Luke when I was a teenager.”
“Who’s Luke?” Blake asks innocently.
Liam squints. “Wait, what?”
“We were sixteen the first time we came,” John continues quietly. “His dad brought us camping here.”
“Wait… Luke, your friend from school?” Liam asks.
John nods. “We were together,” he says simply, and I’m so proud of him. I want to jump up and hug him or maybe kiss him, but this isn’t about me, so I bite my tongue and force myself to stay in my seat, giving him space to process at his own rate.
Liam frowns slightly, his brain clearly flipping through old memories. “Together… like dating?” he asks carefully.
John nods again. His shoulders are tense and his face is stoic, but he’s sharing the most intimate parts of himself as he confirms. “Yeah.”
Liam leans back slowly in his chair, eyes roaming as he stares into the fire like he’s putting together pieces of a puzzle that’ve been scattered for years. “Well,” he says after a pause, “that explains a lot.”
John glances over at him. “It does?”
“Yeah.” Liam shrugs. “I know I wasn’t around when he passed, but when I came home from college, it was like everything changed.
Shit, man. I’m so sorry I didn’t try to be there more.
I was so focused on my piece of shit ex using me that I must not have seen how deeply you were hurting.
Looking back, I guess it’s more obvious, but in the moment, I just thought we were growing apart or something.
You seemed distant, but then again, that’s how I felt too.
I couldn’t tell if I was projecting or what. ”
I watch John carefully as Liam responds.
For years, John has convinced himself he had to carry his pain alone. I can practically see the gears in his head turning as he realizes maybe that wasn’t true.
“It’s okay, you couldn’t have known,” John says quietly.
“No one knew. Not even my family. When he died… it just seemed easier not to start explaining everything. And yeah, that guy at your school was a piece of shit. I hate that he used you as an experiment. I knew you had your own stuff going on too. We were both heartbroken in our own ways.”
Liam sits quietly for a moment, absorbing that. Then he reaches over and kicks John’s boot lightly.
“You know you’re an idiot, right?”
John looks up, clearly not expecting that response.
“You could’ve told me,” Liam says. “I would’ve been there.”
John swallows. “I know that now.”
“Luke was a good guy.”
“Yeah,” John murmurs. “He really was.”
I know John trusted me with this earlier, but watching him say it out loud to Liam feels just as big somehow, like a door that’s been sealed shut for years just opened a few inches. Maybe that’s all healing really is. Just opening the door a little at a time.
I’m desperate to learn more about Luke, to ask John what he was like or more about what their life looked like when they lived together, but I promised myself that I wouldn’t push him, and I think I’ve already done that enough today.
So I don’t say anything more. Eventually, John takes my hand and pulls it into his lap so he’s holding it on his thigh as we continue to chat with Blake and Liam around the dwindling fire.
It isn’t sexual—it feels a whole lot like he’s finding comfort in touching me—and honestly, that’s so, so much better.