26. Griffin
The plane’s tires touch the tarmac, and I rush to take my phone off Airplane mode.
Once I have service again, I see a photo has come in from Kenna. I click and zoom in on a photo of Cadence and Ranger snuggled up and sleeping next to one another on the couch.
Sunshine:
*photo message* She rebelled against our naptime routine . . . she’s lucky she’s so cute!
Me:
I wish I could be snuggled up with them right now. We just landed in San Jose.
I pocket my phone when she doesn’t respond after a few minutes. I’ve become desperate for any communication from Kenna.
“How’s it going, Turner?” Thomas Jones asks as we’re lining up to get off the plane. Everyone calls him TJ or Jonesy. He’s one of the oldest veteran players on the team and someone I’ve looked up to even before I signed with the team.
“It’s going really well, Jonesy.” I take my phone out of my pocket and show him my lock screen. It’s a photo Kenna took of Cadence on my shoulders from Halloween. I haven’t had a chance to talk to Jonesy since I got back to town last night. We had our game tonight, then boarded a plane to San Jose right away for our game tomorrow night.
“When we played in Minnesota, I found out I have a daughter. Her name is Cadence, and she’s nineteen months old. That’s the reason I was out for two games.”
“Shit, rookie. What have you made of that news?”
“I’m not a rookie anymore. And while it shocked the shit out of me”—I pause with the biggest smile on my face—“I’m the luckiest guy in the world.”
“Is the mom a puck bunny, or did you know her? You’re from Minnesota, right?”
“McKenna is definitely not a puck bunny. We lived next door to each other practically our whole lives. Cadence came from two people who were in love.”
I still love her. I’ll never not love her.
He takes his hat off and scratches his scalp. “So, how did you just find out you’ve got a kid together?”
“Let’s just leave it at I was at the lowest point of my life, and I take full responsibility for being the reason behind me missing out on the first year and a half of my daughter’s life.”
He slaps me on the back. “Congrats, man. She looks adorable, and fatherhood suits you. Is the mom planning to move to Colorado?”
I shake my head. “No, McKenna goes to school in Minnesota. She plays volleyball for Abbott University. Her whole family is there. Actually, her twin brother is a rookie for the Wolverines, Carson Wilder.”
“Ah fuck, rook. Are you trying to tell me you’re going to end up signing with Minnesota after your rookie contract is up? Hopefully, I’ll be retired by that point.”
“I have no idea. What I do know is that it’s hard being so far away and missing out on even more time than I already have. How do you do it with the long road game stretches?”
Jonesy is thirty-five, and he and his wife, Becca, have four kids. If anyone can give me advice, it’s him.
“It gets harder the older they get. JJ is ten now. Becca is busy traveling all over with the kids for his hockey tournaments. It makes it really hard to want to continue to play when I’m missing out on so many moments back home with them.”
He must sense the anxiety rolling off of me from his words, so he gives me some words of encouragement. “What I meant to say was that Cadence is so little, she won’t remember that you were away. I suggest a lot of FaceTime calls. Pay for them to come visit when they can, and look into getting a place there for the offseason if she isn’t able to move to Colorado.”
I would never ask Kenna to give up her dreams and move away from her family to be closer to me. This is my burden to bear. I just have to make the most of it, as Jonesy suggested. I’m willing to make sacrifices if it means there are fewer obstacles standing between me and Cadence.
My phone vibrates with an incoming text just as we’re getting off the team bus at the hotel. It’s late, so I’m surprised to see it’s from Kenna.
Sunshine:
Just them?
My eyebrows shoot up so fast I think I may have pinched a nerve in my face. Is she . . . is she implying that I should want to snuggle up with her as well? Fuck, how do I respond to that? Of course, I wish I could be with Kenna. She will always be the one that got away. And I’ll always be the idiot who pushed her away because I was too scared to taint her.
By the time I close the door to my hotel room, I bite the bullet and hit send on my response.
Me:
Family snuggle session? Definitely count me in.
Sunshine:
Don”t say that. Not when I”ve dreamed of you saying things like that for the past two years.
I was damned if I did and damned if I didn’t. Before I can think of how the hell to respond to her text, a FaceTime request lights up my phone.
McKenna Wilder is FaceTiming me at 1 a.m. her time. Nothing good can come from hitting accept. But what if something is wrong with Cadence?
I quickly hit accept. “Is everything okay with Cadence?”
Kenna’s answering giggle-fit puts me at ease that Cadence must be okay. Though, now I’m confused as to what’s got her giggling like that.
“I’ll take that as a yes. Care to fill me in on what’s so funny?”
“I just realized what time it is!” She wipes tears from under her eyes. “At this time, you probably think I’m booty calling you. I’m not doing that. But I do have a great ass. Don’t you agree?”
I run my hand over my face, but she catches my answering groan.
“I’ll take that as a yes. I had a couple of glasses of wine with Brooke tonight. Wine makes me so horny, did you know that? Of course, you don’t know that. You left me high and dry before I developed that acquired taste.”
“I very clearly remember a bath and wine glasses when we were together. I know what you’re like when you drink wine, Sunshine. What I don’t know is why you decided to call me if you’re horny.”
She scoffs. “Forget I called.”
“McKenna, please don’t hang up. I’m sorry. It’s just confusing when you say we can’t blur the lines.”
“I still have it, you know.”
Her change of topic throws me off. “Have what?”
“That present you got me on my nineteenth birthday. The one you said I should use whenever I’m missing you.”
Is she talking about the vibrator I got her?
“It’s pink, made of silicone, and oh my god, does it work wonders.”
“McKenna,” I say her name like a warning. I’m hesitant about where to go from here. She’s clearly buzzed, and this feels like we’re playing with fire.
“Oh, come on. Have a little fun! Am I turning you on, Griff?”
“Is that even a question? Everything you do turns me on.”
“I’m so worked up right now, G. I need your dirty mouth to tell me what to do.”
She sounds so desperate and needy. My cock stirs in my suit pants, but I won’t have her like this.
“The only thing I’m going to tell you to do tonight is to get some rest, Sunshine.”
“Prude,” she taunts.
“You say prude; I say gentleman with extreme restraint that is being tested to the limit.”
Her answering chuckles quickly fade into even breathing. I don’t hang up as I get myself ready for bed and slide under the sheets.
When I’m sure she’s asleep, I softly sing “You Are My Sunshine” to her and whisper all of the sweet nothings I’ve been dying to tell her.
“I’ve missed you so much. I’m going to be the man you and Cadence deserve. I’ll never stop trying to prove how much the two of you mean to me.”
I’m not sure how long I stare into the phone, watching the only woman I’ve ever loved sleeping peacefully. But when I wake the next morning, I know it’s the best night of sleep I’ve gotten in years. Probably since the last time I slept with my Sunshine in my arms.
The next day, I got a call from my agent bright and early. He’s on the East Coast, and he probably forgot about the time difference with me in California.
I swipe to accept his call. “Jared, just the man I wanted to talk to.”
“How’s it going, Griffin? I’m glad I caught you. I feel like you’ve been avoiding my calls lately.”
“A lot has been going on. I just flew back to Colorado a few days ago, and we’ve been on a string of road games. I’ve been busy FaceTiming or calling Cadence every spare moment I get.”
“About that. Have you decided on the paternity test? Then Andrew wanted me to ask you about having McKenna sign an NDA due to the events that surrounded her trying to tell you about Cadence.”
Andrew is the lawyer Jared’s agency uses for their clients. After I called my coach on the night I found out about Cadence, the next person I called was my dad, then my agent, Jared.
“No, I told you, I don’t need a paternity test. Cadence is mine. As for the NDA, Kenna and I are both in agreement that we never want the circumstances surrounding our daughter’s first years of life to be in the media. We want to protect Cadence from seeing any articles or interviews about us when she gets older.”
“Griff, that’s great to be on the same page now. But what happens if the two of you get in a big fight or if there is a drawn-out custody battle? Things happen, and shit turns ugly quickly. My job is to protect you. I’m trying to be proactive, stay ahead of things.”
“I hear you, Jared. I do. But you’ve got to trust me on this one. I know Kenna better than I know myself. There’s nothing to stay ahead of as far as they’re concerned.”
“Alright.”
“There is something I wanted to ask you about.” I take a deep breath. “How hard would it be to break my rookie contract with Colorado and be picked up by Minnesota?”
“It’d be damn-near impossible, Griff. Not to mention, you’d be labeled as the high-maintenance rookie that no team in the league would want to touch.”
“That’s weird. It’s almost like my agent forgot I won Rookie of the Year last year. I feel like that’s something an agent should know.”
“I didn’t forget. It’s just not relevant to the conversation at hand. You asked about getting out of your contract. What makes you think Colorado would want to give up their Rookie of the Year?”
“I knew it was far-fetched, Jared. But I had to ask. Just know this now, I won’t sign a long-term deal anywhere other than where my daughter is once this contract is up. I could give a fuck about the deal or the money. I refuse to miss more years of Cadence’s life.”
“Noted. You do realize that goes against everything I would normally fight for as your agent, though, right?”
“I get it. Listen, I’ve got to get another hour or two of sleep before our pre-game skate. Talk later.”
“Later, Griff.”
It’s just getting dark out as I pull up to Carson and Kenna’s place. I’m here for Thanksgiving. It’s a big deal. They decided to have Thanksgiving dinner at their place instead of their parents because they weren’t sure if my dad and I would be comfortable being next door to my childhood home. I haven’t been back there since the weekend of Katie’s funeral.
But my dad ended up not being able to fly out due to a big surgery he had scheduled.
I feel like a teenager taking a girl out on my very first date again. I’m nervous as hell to see Liz and Teddy after the look he gave me at Carson’s first game. Honestly, I don’t blame him for not giving me the benefit of the doubt. In his eyes, I not only ghosted his daughter, but I abandoned her and his granddaughter when they needed me most.
Of course, I’m not even going to try to bring up the fact that I didn’t know Cadence existed, or I never would have abandoned either of them.
As for leaving Kenna, I honestly thought I was doing what was best for her then.
I take a deep breath and let the nerves roll off me. Then I pick up the bouquets of flowers I got for Kenna and her mom and the bottle of Maker’s Mark I got for Carson and Teddy.
Knowing Cadence isn’t napping, I think it’s safe to ring the doorbell.
I do, and when Kenna opens the door, I literally have to rub the ache in my chest that comes from the sight of her. It’s been a long three weeks since I’ve seen her in person. She’s got her hair pulled up in a bun, and she’s wearing a Wolverines sweatshirt with black leggings. Her face is free of makeup. She looks relaxed and carefree. She’s pure perfection.
Nothing has changed when it comes to my allure for Kenna. If anything, seeing her with our daughter has heightened my attraction to her.
“Happy Thanksgiving,” she says in greeting.
I stand there awkwardly for a beat before I pull myself together.
“You’re so gorgeous it hurts, Sunshine.”
Her breath hitches at my statement.
“Your pickup lines have not aged well, G,” Carson teases from somewhere inside the house.
Ranger comes trotting around the corner when he hears the door. When he sees me, Ranger jumps into my arms and whimpers.
“Hey, buddy! How’s my Goodest Boy doing? Did you miss me as much as I missed you?”
“It’s only been a few weeks,” Kenna teases.
“Any length of time without Ranger is like a lifetime.”
“Trust me, I know. The semester I lived in the dorms was the loneliest I’ve ever felt, and I couldn’t even have my support pup with me.”
Her confession hits me like a punch to the chest. She was lonely because I wasn’t there for her. I wasn’t there because I chose not to be. Katie was her support person, and she lost her.
I need to take Carson aside and thank him for being there for Kenna when I couldn’t be.
“Happy Thanksgiving,” I tell her as I pull her in for a side hug. It’s a timid move on my part—I’m not sure what she’s comfortable with. Kenna stiffens at first, then softens, wrapping her arms around my waist. I breathe her in and place a chaste kiss on her forehead.
“These are for you.” I hand Kenna one of the bouquets of flowers.
“Thank you, Griff. You didn’t need to do that.”
“I know, Sunshine,” I whisper over her temple, causing a shiver to slide down her spine.
She grabs the flowers but pulls from my embrace when her mom, dad, Cadence, and Carson come into the room.
“And these are for you, Lizzie,” I say as I hand her the other bouquet.
Liz doesn’t hesitate as she pulls me in for a tight hug. She smells the same as always, like vanilla and cinnamon, wrapping me in a comfort only smells from your childhood can.
“It’s so great to see you, Griffin. It’s been too long.” She squeezes my arm before stepping away to grab Cadence from Carson’s arms.
“Should we go put these beauties in some water, Cades?” Liz asks Cadence as she carts her off to the kitchen.
Carson brings me in for a bro hug, patting my back. “G, it’s good to see you. Happy Thanksgiving.”
“Thanks for having me. I’m sorry my dad couldn’t make it. He’s been eager to meet Cadence, so he was disappointed this surgery came up.”
“It’s no problem. We’re happy you could make it. A nice surprise that our schedules lined up for a day off,” he replies.
As Carse steps back, Teddy stands off to the side, hands in his pockets, rooted in place.
I take a shot at clearing the awkward tension that’s fallen over the room. Offering him the bottle of Maker’s Mark, he just shakes his head once to himself.
“I told my little princess not to get her hopes up. It might not be drugs this time, but bringing around the hard stuff?” Teddy tsks me.
I’m about to drop my hand with the alcohol, but Carson scoops it up.
“What my dad meant to say is how thoughtful of you to bring the host a gift you know he enjoys, even when you don’t drink during the season.” Carson tries to come to my rescue.
Teddy scoffs. “It’ll take a lot more than my drink of choice to soften me.”
“I understand that, Theo. I wasn’t trying to placate you. I can’t eradicate the past. Unfortunately, I missed out on time that I can never make up for. But I intend to do right by your granddaughter and McKenna.”
“What sweet words. Only your actions and time will tell. Until then, don’t expect me to let up,” Teddy practically growls the last sentence out.
“I look forward to proving myself to McKenna and Cadence. If, in turn, that changes your opinion of me, all the better.”
With that, Teddy turns to the kitchen to help Liz with Cadence and I overhear her lecturing him to let go of his tough-guy act.
I’ve got my work cut out for me to prove myself to everyone—but I was honest with her dad. My first priority is to make sure Kenna and Cadence know they can depend on me and not worry about what her father thinks of me.