CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT The Wedding Ring
Maya looked at the ring too long.Andre noticed.His expression changed, not to guilt or discomfort, but
to understanding."I got married," he said quietly.Maya forced herself to nod."I can see that."She hated how thin her voice sounded."Three years ago."Three years.The number struck harder than the ring.Andre had married someone roughly a year after Maya
wrote the letter she never sent.
A whole ceremony had happened while Maya was learning to live alone.Vows.Photographs.A first dance.A life.
"What's her name?" Maya asked, because not asking would feel worse.
"Simone."Maya nodded."How did you meet?"Andre smiled slightly.
"Work, indirectly. She's a civil engineer.
We were on the same redevelopment project in Seattle.
"Of course she was an engineer.Maya almost laughed at how perfectly Andre that sounded.
"She still there?""We moved back to California last year.
Bay Area.""Oh."Andre shifted the grocery basket in his hand.
"I have kids too."Maya's eyes lifted quickly.He said it gently, as if he knew each word carried its own weight.
"Two. A daughter who's almost two and a little boy who's seven months.
"Maya's mouth opened, but nothing came out.Children.Not hypothetical children.Not the maybe one, maybe two she and Andre once discussed over brunch.Real children.People he had held in a hospital room.People who called him Daddy or soon would.A daughter with his eyes, maybe.A son who might inherit his patience.Maya swallowed against the ache rising in her throat.
"Congratulations," she said.And she meant it.That was the cruelest part.She was happy he had the life he deserved.She was devastated it did not include her.
"Thank you."Andre studied her."Are you okay?
"Maya laughed softly. "That is such an Andre question.
" "What does that mean?""You always ask it when you already know the answer.
" His eyes softened."Then do you want me to ask something else?
" Maya shook her head."No. I just... I wasn't prepared.
""I understand.""Do you?"The question came sharper than intended.Andre did not react defensively.
"Maybe not exactly."Maya closed her eyes for a second.
"I'm sorry. None of this is your fault.""Maya -""No.
I mean it. You don't owe me a softer life because I made choices I regret.
"Andre looked at her for a long moment."You changed.
"The sentence almost broke her."I had to.
"A small smile touched his mouth."So did I.
"They stood in the pasta aisle with years between them.Finally Andre said, "I'm grabbing coffee tomorrow morning near my mom's.
If you want to talk, we can."Maya stared at him.
"Are you sure?""I think we're old enough to have one conversation.
"She nodded."Okay."Andre gave her the cafe name and time.Then he lifted his basket.
"I should finish shopping. My mother gave me a list and will audit it.
"Maya laughed through the ache. "Some things don't change.
""Apparently not."He walked away.Maya remained in the aisle staring at the jar in her hand.She had no idea what sauce she had been looking for.