Chapter 71 #2
I squeeze my eyes shut, summoning the resolve. When I open them, I bear the weight of everything expressed in her eyes: the hope, the plea, the panic. “I know…and it’s not right.”
“Yes, it is…because I love you more than I do myself. There is no one righter for me than you. You are everything to me. I would wait five lifetimes for you if I had to. That’s how perfect you are, we are.”
“You think I don’t feel the same? That I don’t love you more than I do myself?
I have never loved a soul the way I do you.
You are the reason my heart even fucking beats.
But I love you too much to allow you to waste time hoping for something that now seems impossible.
Don’t you see, Jax? This situation with Remy isn’t about how long this newest BS is going to take…
six months, a year, two years…it’s lifelong.
Everything has changed between the three of us, and we can’t go back in time to change it.
We can’t go back to being friends. The three of us can’t even hang out because there’s too much history, way too much intensity, and his wife will never understand any of it, let alone accept it. ”
She says nothing, but for the first time, defeat—maybe even understanding—paints her features.
“This latest predicament is just a catalyst for what I’d hoped, fucking prayed, wasn’t happening, but there’s no denying the reality. Can’t you see? We’re trapped in a rip current and can’t find our way back to shore.”
Jacqui’s sobs fill the room. She sinks her face into my chest and whatever resolve I had to remain strong cracks and tumbles to the floor.
We cling to each other…and cry.
When our breathing calms, we make our way into the shower, almost as if this everyday necessity will help us feel an ounce of normalcy.
As if there’s any chance of that.
The warm spray washes away our tears. I press my lips gently to hers as we hold one another, bankrupt of any words to ease this pain or change the trajectory of this motherfucking travesty.
Palming the soap, I wash her body with quiet reverence before shampooing her hair, my fingers tenderly but thoroughly coasting through those golden lengths, taking my time and treasuring the act, banishing thoughts it will be the last time.
I massage in conditioner, and while it soaks in I pull her close and press my lips to hers.
She responds without hesitation. Our tongues glide and swirl together, the beauty of it tinged with sorrow and despair.
Holding her tighter, she clutches me back as if she’s afraid to let go.
When her fingers rove across my skin and follow the valley of my back, my dick hardens and pulses between us, a bittersweet need overtaking me.
I break the kiss and cup her cheek, searching her eyes. “I want to make love to you for hours.” It’s a question and a plea, one I hope isn’t asking too much.
She nods, tears gathering in her eyes again. My brave, beautiful girl is fighting so hard to stay present…as am I.
After shutting off the water, I hastily secure a towel around my waist then dry Jax with another.
Goosebumps pebble her skin as I drag the cloth across every inch before wrapping her in it.
I grab a second towel for her hair and press it against her scalp, working out the excess moisture before gently combing through it.
We don’t speak but our eyes meet every few seconds, like moths fluttering around a lone lightbulb in the dead of night.
We crawl back in bed, and I hold her close, heartbeat to heartbeat, pressing my lips to her forehead while we warm back up.
My mouth finds hers, and we share a deep, languorous kiss, like we have nothing but time—when the opposite is true.
Our tongues caress and stroke, and I’m lost in it, desperate, taking as much of her as possible.
I’m going to revere every square inch of her that’s available to my fingers, lips, and tongue—and make damn sure every cell breathing life into this woman knows just how profoundly consuming my love is.
Rolling on top of her, I settle into the cradle of her hips. My lips find her ear then trace lower, latching onto the column of her throat. She sighs and grips me tighter. Licking, sucking, kissing, I mark her neck repeatedly, wishing they were permanent…wishing we were.
An approving groan from her lips turns into a choked sob. Gently, I squeeze her. I know, baby, I know.
I pause at one of my favorite spots—the hollow—and trace it with my tongue before peppering soft kisses down her chest. Her hands thread into my hair, and I sink into her touch, closing my eyes for a moment.
When they open, I drink in the vision of her ample breasts, her large areolas sitting like cherries on top.
Dipping my head, I let my tongue trace one nipple, the circle of flesh tightening in my mouth while my hands squeeze to keep those babies firmly at my disposal.
Goosebumps ripple across her skin, her hips thrusting into mine. Jacqui’s soft moans resonate in the hushed room where it’s only us, our heartbeats, our desperate breaths. She grinds into me, and my craving to be inside her makes my already hard dick roar.
Not yet.
Continuing my quest to taste every part of my woman, I slowly inch lower, allowing my breath to sear into that sacred space between her thighs.
“Mick,” she breathes.
A bittersweet smile flickers on my lips as I lick a path down her inner thighs.
“Please…”
Once I’ve worshipped those gorgeous long legs, I return to her pussy, her scent calling to me like a siren song.
Spreading her wide, I soak in the view—all the ways this speaks to me, calls to me, flays me open—and immerse myself in her sweet heat.
My girl runs as hot as a furnace, one I’d gladly burn in until there’s nothing left of me.
Incinerate me, baby. Put me out of my misery.
Pinning my throbbing dick against the mattress, I focus solely on pleasuring the woman writhing beneath me. And I fucking feast.
Flattening my tongue, I lick slowly along the seam of her pussy from top to bottom, getting the full flavor of my gorgeous girl. My tongue probes, breaching her barriers, fucking in and out, tasting and reveling in her silky layers, her sacred passage beckoning me in further.
I will never get enough of her, of this.
Unearthing her clitoris, the crown jewel in this treasure chest, I groan as it swells under my care. I am nothing if not attentive—licking, flicking, and gently sucking, finding a rhythm and losing myself in Jax. Her essence. Her breathy moans. Her all-encompassing command of me.
Her motions turn robust, her hips rocking into my face, hands gripping my hair, a cry ripping from her throat as she comes, and comes, and comes—her orgasm cresting and crashing in waves. I ride every one. Happily. Drunk on her. Committed to squeezing the last ounce of nectar from her core.
When I’m sure she’s thoroughly sated, I climb between her parted legs, thirsting to be inside her. Jacqui opens her eyes, drugged with contentment until I witness the sharp flicker of reality. I kiss it away, demanding she stay with me.
She blinks away her pain, reaches between us, and strokes my length. A groan of stark relief escapes my throat as she grips me the way I crave. Her eyes fasten on my cock with reverence, and when they lift to meet mine, love swirls with want.
My stunning girl positions me at her entrance, slick with her essence and still emanating that welcome heat. The need to be sheathed inside her with those silky walls wrapped around me, receiving me, connecting and coupling us, borders on dire.
It’s a blissful kind of torment entering her inch by inch. A pleasure so intense my heart hammers in my chest, ricocheting in my ribcage. It’s the instant recognition, the rightness, the most real and sincere bond I’ve ever known with a woman.
Jax lets out a sob, the sadness of it slicing through me.
“I know, baby, I know,” I whisper, my gaze never leaving hers.
Tears well in her eyes—and my own. Our lips touch. Our foreheads. And I drive all the way in.
Holy mother of all there is.
Pausing to take a breath, I fight to quell my impending breakdown.
Then I move. Slowly, intentionally, each thrust an I love you. Her legs tighten around my waist, pulling me nearer, deeper. We are as close as two human beings can be. My heart lurches at her striking face, the pleasure mixed with sorrow in her expression. It’s beautiful. Agonizing. Tragic.
And imprints in my memory, a cruel and haunting portrait. I will never forget this moment, I’m sure of it.
Our lovemaking is a sonnet, a song, a work of art. It’s sunlight, and explosive waves, the highest mountain views. It’s fast car rides, and canoeing downriver, holding hands under a starry sky. It’s blazing summer campfires, quiet winter mornings, a spectacular electrical storm.
Together, we are all those things.
Jacqui is a poem memorialized in my heart and bones with verses that make my blood sing. My forever poem. The only thing I’ll have left when…
“I love you,” I murmur. The words sound lacking even to my own ears, but I’ve never meant them more.
A tear rolls down her cheek, composure dangling. “I love you.”
Eyes connected, hearts reaching, our centers merged, we fuse as one.
When I can’t hold back any longer, I come undone, claiming and giving as my mind shatters as thoroughly as my body.