Chapter 49
CHAPTER FORTY-NINE
Cassie woke to a sunbeam hitting her directly in the eye. She was still naked and wrapped in Noah’s arms. She’d slept better than she had in a week but was still exhausted.
Last night had made things infinitely more complicated.
Noah said they couldn’t be together because it would destroy everything, like she was some kind of dragon, one small provocation away from burning the entire town to a crisp.
He wasn’t entirely wrong. She had already considered an out at the first sign of trouble. He’d triggered her abandonment issues, and she was ready to run.
Didn’t she deserve someone who chose her in spite of the risks? Who was honest with her, even about the hard things? She still didn’t know what the hell had happened to Bobby.
She peered around Noah’s bedroom. She hadn’t even taken stock of it the night before.
There was very little personality in it.
It contained the basics—a bed with exactly one pillow, a dresser, one nightstand with a lamp.
That was it. He’d lived here for years. Where were the pictures?
Posters? Collections of movies or music?
Even her narcissistic ex-husband—who wanted everything in their house to be beige or off-white—had a couple of knickknacks.
It was like an Airbnb run by a straight guy. Clean, orderly, utilitarian, and boring.
The only room that had any personality was the dining room with the beautiful dollhouse and picture window covered in painted unicorns.
If she had the timeline correct, Noah had moved here after Bobby died. Maybe his home was another extension of him feeling like he didn’t deserve anything good in his life.
She looked at him, sleeping peacefully on his singular pillow. It was heartbreaking to see him continuously deny himself anything good. He worked himself to the bone, left no time for pleasure. One mistake—whatever it was—shouldn’t mean a lifetime of suffering.
“Noah?” she said softly.
One eye popped open. He grunted, then tightened his grip on her.
“Tell me about Bobby,” she said.
His body tensed under her, then he carefully released her and sat up.
He shook his head. “I can’t. Not today.”
“Why not today?” Her tone was exasperated.
He stared at the sheets. “Because today is the three-year anniversary of his death. And I’m gonna spend it laughing with all our old friends at Will’s party and trying to save the sanctuary that I fucked up.”
Oh.
“I think talking about it will make you feel better. I’m not going to judge you, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
He pressed the tips of his fingers together.
“I don’t deserve to feel better, okay? Bobby will never get to have another crab feast or drink a Natty Boh with the intramural volleyball team.
He’ll never get to hug his daughter again, or fall in love with a beautiful pain in the ass doctor from San Diego, or—”
“What?” she interrupted.
Had he just said what she thought he said? He loved her?
He turned back to her, face resolved. “Bobby isn’t coming back. And it’s my fault. That’s all I can offer you right now, Cassie. I’m sorry. I’m dealing with my own shit. But I’m trying. I—I went to therapy.”
Therapy? Was he actually trying to unpack his trauma? But it had been three years.
“Why now?” she asked.
He set his jaw. “Because my mother wouldn’t make an appointment with orthopedics until I did,” he admitted.
She sighed and pulled the sheet off. “So not because you actually want to get better. Because your mom made you.”
His grip tightened. “Hey, that’s not fair. Maybe that’s how it started, but now—”
She was tired. So tired. “Just…save it, Noah. I’m really sorry you lost your best friend. But you were right. We shouldn’t be together. I deserve someone who’s going to tell me the truth, even about the hard things. Good luck at the fundraiser tonight.”
She slipped her clothes on and walked out the door without looking back.
She had decisions to make.
An hour later, Cassie knocked on Lyra’s front door, their mother’s journals in hand. It was time to hand them off and hopefully to move on.
There was a muffled voice on the other side of the door. “Oh, Hector, that’s incredible. We can’t thank you enough for your donation. You’ll bring them to Will’s by five? Thanks. You’re amazing.”
The voice stopped, and Lyra popped the door open, looking surprised. “Hey, what are you doing here?”
“Just dropping these off.” Cassie handed over the journals.
“You didn’t need to make a special trip. You could’ve given them to me tonight at the fundraiser.”
“I’m not going,” Cassie said.
“What? Why not?” Lyra asked softly.
“Everything’s fucked.”
Lyra frowned. “Noah?”
“He’s part of it.”
“Come in. Talk to me.”
Cassie collapsed on Lyra’s couch and held Mochi as she unwound the whole story, starting with her father’s true identity.
“I’m sorry, this is not computing. So your adoptive father is actually your biological father?”
“Yep.”
“Holy shit. No wonder Mom always kept her distance from Nana and Papa. I can’t believe they kicked her out for being pregnant.”
“So they ended up reconnecting at some point?” The journal had stopped after Cassie was born, so she was still missing parts of the story.
Lyra nodded. “Our dad insisted that mom invite them to the wedding. They came, and they started to talk every once in a while after. We’d go over for some holidays.
Then when Mom and Dad got divorced, they helped out watching us sometimes.
I guess it was okay since we were ‘legitimate’ children,” she said with a shake of her head.
“But they were never close. They only left the farm to her because she was their only child.”
It was strange to have the whole story laid out in front of her. All these years of wondering. It didn’t fill the bottomless pit of what-ifs. But it was better than nothing.
Lyra laid a hand on hers. “How are you doing after reading all that and confronting your parents? It must’ve been a lot.”
Cassie frowned and stared at the river. “I’m glad to know the whole truth, but I’m also just really bummed that I’ll never know her.”
“If you ever want to talk about her, I’m happy to tell you anything. I know she would’ve loved you. And I’m really happy that I get the chance to love you too.”
Lyra wrapped her and Mochi in a too-tight hug.
“There’s something else,” Cassie said. “I got a call from the Maryland Zoo. They want me to work for them.”
Lyra shook her head firmly. “Of course they want you—you’re amazing. But I’ll make this decision for you. You’re not taking it.”
Cassie smiled. “I’ll mark your vote down.”
Lyra leaned forward. “This is not a democracy. There will be no voting. You own a home here. You’re opening a business next week. Three people are counting on you for their livelihoods. Your family is here. Your roots are here.” She ticked the items off on her fingers. “You stay. End of story.”
Cassie’s heart warmed. It was nice to have someone so fiercely in her corner. “They’re giving me the weekend to think about it. But no matter what I decide, I think I need to move. Even if it’s just to Easton. I can’t live next to Noah anymore.”
“What did that tub of fucking protein powder do this time?” Lyra asked vehemently.
“Nothing. I’ll just say you were right all along.”
“Well, you can’t leave,” Lyra reiterated. “I’ll start rumors around town that your house is haunted. It’ll never sell. People are very fearful of the supernatural in Aster Hollow.”
“Are you blackmailing me?”
Lyra crossed her arms. “If that’s what it takes.”
Cassie shook her head and stood up to leave. “I’d only be an hour away. It’s not like it’s Nepal.”
“I know,” Lyra said quietly. “But I like having you here. And you’ve built a life here. Don’t give it away for something you’re not even sure you still want.”
“Oof.” Cassie pressed a hand to her heart. Lyra had an impressive ability to speak her mind in all situations. “I’m leaving before you make things even more confusing. Um, how bad are hurricanes here on the bay? Are we likely to get a lot of flooding?”
Hurricane Carolyn was supposed to hit on Sunday, right before the clinic opened. At least she could walk to work on Monday if the roads were closed. Another thing she’d miss when she moved.
Lyra shrugged. “It’s not usually too bad. I’ve only had to sandbag the café twice since it opened. We should be fine.”
“Good. The last thing we need is a devastating storm.”
Cassie waved goodbye and got back in her car. Her mind raced as she drove toward home. There was so much to do—should she even check for applications for the assistant job if she was just going to close the clinic?
She passed a street, and she recognized the name from Akshara’s application.
She reminded her so much of her younger self.
If she shut down the clinic, Akshara would have to go back to stocking yogurt.
Malik would return to PetSmart, grooming pissed-off bichons.
And Tara would have to go back to overperforming at the local Taco Bell.
She was allowed to be selfish, to choose what was best for her after all that she’d been through. But she’d also made a—
Bam. Her car jerked, and there was a sudden rhythmic flapping sound. Fuck. A flat, really?
She pulled over to the side of the road and walked around to inspect. Yep, there it was, right on the driver’s side. Not at all an omen from the universe. Surely just a coincidence.
She opened her trunk to search for a jack when a pickup truck pulled up behind her.
“You all right, miss?” An older woman that she didn’t recognize had poked her head out of the window.
“Oh, I’m fine. Just a flat.”
“Well, shoot. I can help with that.”
Before she could politely decline, the woman hopped out of her truck and joined Cassie by the trunk.
She expertly lifted up the cover and pulled out the jack and spare tire.
“My brother and I were convinced we were gonna be in a NASCAR pit one day. We used to have competitions on Saturdays to see who could get the tires off Daddy’s truck the quickest. One time, we got distracted by All in the Family and forgot to put ’em back on.
Didn’t notice till we piled in to go to church the next morning. ”
Cassie laughed in spite of herself. “Thank you so much for helping me. I honestly don’t think I’ve ever changed a tire before.”
“Well, here, I’ll show ya. It’s easy, except for gettin’ the damn bolts off. I’m Lillian, by the way.”
“Cassie,” she said, extending a hand.
The woman cocked her head. “Are you that new vet who saved the town from the tiger?”
“That’s me,” she said. For now.
“I can’t tell you how glad I am you moved to town. I have a Doberman and four cats, and they all need vaccines. We’re on your schedule bright and early Wednesday morning.”
She needed to chat with Tara about limits on the number of pets someone can bring at one time.
“Well, I’ll be sure Tara gives you the good Samaritan discount for helping me out with my tire.”
In less than twenty minutes, the spare was on and Lillian was waving as she drove away.
This was what she would be giving up if she took the zoo job. A small town filled with big hearts. People who stepped up any time there was a need, whether it was a flat tire or a loose tiger.
Was losing Aster Hollow worth having a new job?
And what about what Lyra said? Did she even want it anymore? There were a lot of benefits—job security, not having to deal with billing or being a boss.
But if she was being honest with herself, even before Dave had announced they were moving, she had started to want a little more.
She loved the big cats and the exotic birds and reptiles.
But every day had started to feel the same.
Rounds, treatment plans, nutrition. She relished the challenge and variety that companion animal care and equines brought.
And there were other downsides. If she ever met someone and fell in love, she’d be constantly on call. Working weekends and missing holidays.
In primary care, she could set her schedule. She could give herself and her crew a day off, take a vacation.
Here in Aster Hollow, she truly got to have it all. And like Lyra said, there were people counting on her now. She may never be the best boss, but she would be brave and go to bat for the team of people who believed in their mission.
Her decision was solidified. She wasn’t going to let some emotionally stunted dickhead keep her from having it all. This was her town.