Chapter 4
CHAPTER
FOUR
ASPEN
Maggie and Rain laugh as they flip through the racks of clothes, looking for something to wear. Tonight they are having a party at the clubhouse, something that they apparently don’t typically do but have picked up since the bar was burned down.
The bar was fucked up by Ragged Anarchy while I was being held, and they looked for Maggie.
Just another thing for me to feel bad about.
Not only did the club lose income because of me, but the bar also employed people who didn’t work for the club, and they are now back to the unemployment line.
My fault.
It’s all my fault.
If I hadn’t thrown a fit that Calloway was pulling away, I wouldn’t have convinced Maggie to drive with me from California back to Colorado on a whim. We never would have stopped at that shithole of a bar, and I never would have been taken. The Ragged Anarchy never would have known we existed.
“Hey, are you okay?” Maggie asks softly.
“Why are you even friends with me?” I blurt out.
As soon as the words leave my mouth, Maggie’s head jerks back like I’ve slapped her. I wish I could take them back, but I don’t. I’ve always wanted to know.
I’ll be the first to admit that Maggie is too good for me. I’ve never been the type of friend she deserves, yet she’s stuck by me through it all.
“Because I love you. What’s going on?” she asks, her voice full of concern.
“Nothing. Did you find something to wear?” I ask, trying to change the subject.
“Fuck no, you don’t get to pretend like you didn’t ask something completely asinine and change the subject,” Rain says, crossing her arms.
“Talk to us. We’re here,” Maggie pleads.
“I’m fine.”
Rain scoffs. “Girl, you are so far from fine it’s not even funny. Now spit it out. What’s going through that fucked-up mind of yours?”
“Rain, you can’t say that,” Maggie hisses as she slaps Rain’s arm.
“I can and did. Now come on, talk to us, Aspen,” Rain says.
I wish I could spill my guts to them, but I can’t. They don’t need to hear the fucked-up shit that goes through my mind. They don’t need to know the details of what I went through. If they did, they would look at me differently.
They already do.
The worst part about coming back is the way they all treat me with kid gloves. It’s like everyone is waiting for me to break.
Except Asher.
He’s the only one who treats me like I’m still normal.
“Look, I really am fine. This is just a little weird. Being so out in the open,” I tell them.
Maggie bites the corner of her lip. “You love shopping.”
I used to, before I had to constantly worry about my safety and who was lurking in the shadows.
“I still do,” I lie.
Rain’s eyes narrow, but she doesn’t call me out on it.
“But you haven’t grabbed anything to try on,” Maggie points out.
“I haven’t found anything that interests me yet.”
“That doesn’t make sense. I’ve seen at least six outfits you should have over your arm to try on. This is your favorite store,” Maggie says.
I bite the inside of my cheek so hard that copper fills my mouth.
I love Maggie, I do, but she doesn’t get it. She never will.
“Just drop it,” I tell her, my temper starting to show.
“All right, how about we go get some food? There’s a hibachi place here that just opened. I know you will love their poke bowls, Maggie, while Aspen and I eat way too much rice and noodles. How does that sound?” Rain says.
“I could eat,” Maggie says softly.
“Yeah, me too,” I admit.
I watch as they set down the items they were interested in.
“You guys can try those on first if you want,” I tell them.
“No, we will come back. I’m sure after some carbs you’ll be more in the shopping spirit,” Rain says with a raised brow.
Sighing, I follow them out of the store. They wait for me to catch up and link their arms with mine, holding me hostage between the two of them.
While they chat, I can’t help but scan the mall, looking for someone who plans on hurting me. Hurting us.
We have two shadows. It will be fine.
Earlier, when we left, I thought my brother was being overprotective when he sent two guys with us. Now I’m thankful. It gives me a little bit of reassurance that everything is fine.
Or would be if shit went south.
Someone would get Rain and Maggie out of harm’s way if my past came back to bite me in the ass.
We head into the restaurant. Instinctively, I go to the back corner and sit down, facing the door so no one can come up behind me.
“Okay, I have stayed quiet long enough. Is therapy working, or do we need to find you someone else? Maybe try a different method?” Rain asks.
“Rain…” Maggie scolds.
“No, I’m not going to let her continue to take her bad attitude out on us.
Don’t get me wrong, I know you went through some shit.
I know there is a lot that you haven’t told us, but that doesn’t mean you get to treat us like shit.
We are all going through shit and should be leaning on each other, not taking it out on one another,” Rain says.
Guilt hits me in the stomach.
I haven’t even thought to ask Rain how she’s doing with her situation.
Her dad has cancer, and she’s his primary caretaker.
“How’s your dad doing?” I ask.
“As good as to be expected. It’s still hard,” she says as she tears off a corner of her napkin.
“We’re here for you, you know that,” Maggie says.
“I’ll be fine. I’m more worried about Aspen,” Rain says, shaking her head.
“I’m dealing. Or I’m trying to. I just need more time.”
“Don’t we all. I’m still trying to accept my role in everything,” Maggie says.
I roll my eyes. “The only thing you did wrong was fall in love with my brother.”
“Which isn’t wrong,” Rain tacks on.
“Agree to disagree. Now enough of the heavy shit. Did any of you guys see that they are bringing a reality TV show to the area? One of those can you survive in the mountains type of shit,” Maggie says, changing the subject.
If there is one thing I love, it’s competition reality TV.
For the first time in a while, thoughts of what I went through slip into the back of my mind, and I find myself having a good time with the girls.
I always thought people were lying when they said laughter is the best medicine, but maybe, just maybe, they were onto something.
ASHER
The sounds of music and laughter spill out of the clubhouse. Yak shifts in his chair next to me and pulls a cigarette out of his pocket. Things between us still aren’t great, but they are better than what they were before the run the other day.
I earned more than Panther’s respect with my quick thinking. It turned the tide in my favor where the club is concerned, even though that wasn’t my intention at all.
Yak coughs.
“You know that shit isn’t good for you, right?”
“Yeah, but it keeps me from being a dick…well, more of a dick,” he amends, making me laugh.
He blows out a smoke ring, making me shake my head.
“I don’t know how you can do that shit.”
“I don’t know how you could be a fed, but here we are,” he spits back.
“Was. I’m not anymore,” I remind him.
“How did you even get wrapped up in that bullshit?” he asks.
I shrug. “Hero complex, I don’t know. As long as I can remember, I felt the need to protect and serve.”
“Let me guess, you were that dickhead on the playground who was beating up the bullies.”
“I was actually,” I say, making him laugh.
“I don’t know how the hell you got wrapped up in us when you were supposed to be taking us down,” he says, shaking his head. “It’s why I don’t trust you.”
“When you’re under as long as I was and you see the shit I did, you realize how hard it is to do the one thing you want to do. My hands were always tied because of red tape. Now nothing stands in my way.”
“Still not sure about you, prospect, but even I can admit that you did good work the other day.”
“All I did was consult a map before hitting the road.” I shrug.
“Yeah, yeah, just take the compliment, kid.”
I raise a brow. “You do realize you are only a couple of years older than me, right?”
“Same shit, different day.” He shrugs.
I go to tell him that doesn’t make sense, but the radio crackles between us.
“Hey, you guys busy out there? If not, we could use one of you. Shit’s starting to get rowdy,” Meek says over the comms.
“Go on in. I got this,” Yak says.
“Are you sure? I don’t mind staying out here.”
“Trust me, there isn’t anything in there I want to see right now.”
“What, does a sweetbutt have your attention?” I tease as I stand.
“Fuck off,” he says, giving me the bird.
I laugh as I walk toward the clubhouse. I can’t help but look up at the stars. Seeing the sky light up at night never gets old.
The sound of a commotion makes me start to run. Right as I step into the clubhouse, two bodies start rolling toward me, almost taking me out.
“Stay the fuck away from her,” Ridge growls.
“You can’t tell me what to do if she’s not your old lady,” Caterpillar says.
“Knock it off!” Rain yells.
“Fight! Fight! Fight!” several of the brothers chant.
“Goddammit, someone help me,” Eagle grunts, taking an elbow to the cut.
At the same time, he and I reach into the fray. I grab Ridge in a chokehold and pull him back. Almost instantly, he goes pliant in my arms.
“You done?” I growl in his ear.
He raises his hands in surrender. “As long as he doesn’t come back at me, I’m good. Otherwise, I’ll lay him the fuck out.”
I look over and see Eagle has Caterpillar pinned to the ground, the smartass not realizing he needs to quit trying to fight back.
Movement across the room catches my attention.
I watch as Aspen slides down the wall, eyes wide, with her hand on her chest, breathing hard.
Shit.
Even from here, I can tell she’s somewhere else. Remembering something else.
Before the memories can surface, I push them to the side.
“Shit,” I mutter as I shove Ridge away from me.
“What’s wrong?” he asks.
Aspen.
I need to get to Aspen.
Quickly, I make my way to Aspen and pull her up off the floor.
I pick her up off the floor and carry her down the hall.
Ridge jumps in front of me. “Where are you taking her?”
“Her room.”
He nods and jogs down the hall.
Hold on, baby, I got you. I just need you to hold on for a few more seconds.
“I need her key,” he says when we reach him.
I reach into her back pocket and pull out her key, handing it over.
Ridge quickly unlocks the door and shoves it open.
“What do you need me to do? Should I go get Panther?” Ridge asks.
I want to ask where the fuck her brother is and why he wasn’t keeping an eye on her, but I already know. I’d bet my entire bank account that he and Maggie snuck off back to their cabin and are fucking like rabbits.
“Asher, tell me what the fuck I should do. Should I get Doc?” Ridge asks, pulling me out of my spiraling thoughts.
“What I need you to do is get the fuck out and stay the hell out of trouble while I take care of her. Can you do that?” I snap as I set her down gently on her bed.
When I go to pull away, she whimpers, holding on to me tightly.
“And give us some goddamn privacy,” I hiss over my shoulder.
As soon as the door shuts, I let out a breath. I sit down on her bed and move her so her legs are lying over my lap. Leaning down, I rest my forehead against hers.
“It’s over, Aspen. Come back to me. It’s all over,” I murmur softly as I start to run my fingers through her hair.
Over and over, I reassure her that no one will hurt her and that I’m here. That she has nothing to fear, not anymore.