Chapter 38 Charlie
charlie
I’d slept in, which was a rare luxury these days. Winter weekends didn’t come with farmers’ markets or early alarms, and since I knew Austin was staying at his mom’s house last night, I’d let myself sleep.
When I finally rolled out of bed and checked the clock, it was already past ten. I lazily stretched, expecting to hear some movement downstairs—maybe Austin had come home early—but the house was quiet. Too quiet. I grabbed my phone, but there were no texts, no missed calls. Nothing.
A strange unease crept over me as I threw on a pair of pajama pants and a spaghetti-strap top, then shoved my phone inside the pocket. Maybe he’d gotten home late, and I’d missed him? Or maybe he’d stayed at Auburn’s longer than planned?
I padded downstairs, the house still silent. As I reached the bottom of the steps, I froze. There he was, slumped over the counter, his shoulders hunched, one hand buried in his hair. His back rose and fell rapidly, his breath coming in uneven gasps. He looked sick.
“Austin?” I called out, my voice sharp with panic as I stepped closer.
When he looked up, my stomach dropped. The dark circles under his eyes, the tears streaking his cheeks—something was really wrong.
“Oh my god, what’s wrong?” I rushed toward him, my heart pounding.
He held up his hands quickly, his voice breaking. “I’m sober, I swear.”
I blinked, suddenly realizing I hadn’t even thought about that. My eyes darted around the kitchen—there was no booze in the house, and I knew Auburn didn’t keep any at hers either. Of course, that wouldn’t stop him from going to a bar, but the thought hadn’t even crossed my mind.
“That—” I stammered, shaking my head. “I wasn’t even thinking that.”
Austin let out a shaky breath, his hands trembling as he wiped at his face. “It’s not that,” he said, his voice raw. “It’s . . . everything else.”
I stepped closer, placing a hand on his arm, grounding both him and me. “Okay,” I whispered, trying to keep my voice as steady as possible. “What’s wrong?”
Right at that moment, my phone rang, and Austin whimpered. “Answer it.”
I was so confused, but I grabbed my phone to check who was calling and saw Auburn’s name flash on the screen. “It’s your mom,” I whispered. “I can call her later.”
He shook his head. “Answer it.”
I nodded and swiped to answer the call. “Hi, Auburn.” I tried to sound as cheerful as I could.
“Is Austin at the house? Ledger and I have been calling him.”
I looked over at Austin and furrowed my brows. “Uh, yeah. He’s right here.”
Auburn let out a huge sigh of relief. “Thank goodness.” There was a long pause. “Is he sober?”
I glanced at him again. He still looked like shit, but he didn’t smell drunk. “Yeah, he’s sober,” I said, so Austin could hear what his mom was asking.
He looked back down at the counter and put his head in his hands.
“I, uh, gotta go, Auburn. We’ll call you later.”
She said goodbye, and I hung up, switching it to silent and setting it down on the counter.
Turning back to Austin, I crossed my arms, frustration tightening in my chest. “What the hell is going on?” My voice wasn’t loud, but the edge in it was impossible to miss.
I hated being left in the dark, hated the sense that something big was unraveling right in front of me while I stood there blind to it.
He didn’t look at me. His breathing was uneven, fingers trembling as they dug into his hair. “I—” he started, his voice cracking like the words themselves hurt to speak. “I have to tell you something, Charlie.”
My heart sank, dread creeping in like a cold hand closing around my throat.
This was it. This was the moment he’d confess something I couldn’t forgive—that he’d hooked up with someone last night, or that our marriage—fake as it was—was already over.
The part of the story where everything came apart.
When he finally looked up, his face wrecked with anguish, it stopped me cold. His eyes held something much deeper.
“I—” His voice cracked. He looked down again, like he couldn’t bear to meet my gaze, clenching his hand into a fist against the counter.
“What is it? Just tell me.”
His shoulders heaved with a deep breath, and when he spoke, his voice was barely above a whisper, shaking with every word. “I have a daughter.”
For a moment, I couldn’t move, couldn’t speak. The world seemed to tilt slightly, and the air seemed to be sucked out of the room.
“What?” I finally managed, my voice so faint I wasn’t sure he heard me.
“I have a daughter,” he repeated, louder this time but still raw, each word laced with regret. “I didn’t know, Charlie. I swear to God, I didn’t know until yesterday.”
A child? My brain couldn’t seem to process the words. A daughter? What? How?
My thoughts spiraled. He cheated. That’s it—he must’ve cheated.
But wait, that didn’t make sense. No, because this isn’t real. Our marriage isn’t real. But then . . . Oh my god, how could I have been so dumb? How could I not have seen this coming?
My legs were about to give out beneath me. I gripped the edge of the counter for support, staring at him, trying to make sense of anything.
“Wait,” Austin said, shooting up from the chair. His movements were frantic, his hands running through his hair again as his breathing sped up. “I didn’t cheat, Charlie. I didn’t. I swear to you. I have a daughter. She’s four years old. She—she goes to your school.”
His words hit me like a slap, and my knees nearly buckled. My school? The room was spinning, and I could feel the air leave my lungs.
“My school?” I echoed, barely able to get the words out, my voice trembling.
Austin nodded, his hands shaking as he gripped the counter, holding himself steady.
“When I was at the Holiday Song . . . she was sitting next to Evie. I couldn’t stop staring because she looked so familiar, and I couldn’t figure out why.
Then, I saw her.” His voice cracked, and he ran a hand down his face.
“Nova was there. She was in the room, Charlie. And then everything hit me. The math, the timing . . . it all made sense.” He was talking faster now, the words spilling out, barely coherent.
“I didn’t realize it was her at first. I mean, how could I?
But then I looked at Evie, and the comparison was uncanny. Scarlette has my eyes. My curls.”
He wasn’t making full sentences anymore, his thoughts fractured as he tried to explain. I pieced it together slowly, the realization crawling over my skin until it finally sank in.
Nova. His ex-wife was here.
But . . . it didn’t make sense. We only had one preschool program, and I didn’t handle it. Austin would’ve recognized her before now during pickup—unless . . .
“She’s the new girl in the preschool program?”
His eyes met mine, and he gave a small, pained nod.
“It’s Scarlette.” My breath caught. “How could I not see it?”
They had the same piercing blue eyes, the curly hair, and even some of their expressions were similar. My heart felt like it was going to give out. My legs wobbled, my vision blurred. I was going to faint. I was going to pass out right here in this kitchen.
“I can’t . . . I can’t do this,” I muttered, the words tumbling out before I could stop them.
“Charlie, please,” Austin begged, his voice breaking. He dropped to his knees in front of me, desperately clutching at my thighs. “Say something. Please, I can’t—” He choked on a sob, tears streaking his face as he looked up at me.
I was frozen. I couldn’t move, couldn’t speak. My brain couldn’t catch up with everything he was telling me. It was too much, too fast.
“This is so much,” I finally whispered, my voice hollow. “I can’t . . . So much has changed.”
Austin’s grip tightened, his face crumpling. “I met Nova for coffee this morning. I had to confirm.”
I shook my head, taking an unsteady step back, needing distance. He wasn’t at his mom’s this morning. He was with his ex-wife.
“You went to see her? You didn’t text me because you went to see her?”
I needed air.
“We can figure it out together. Please, just—”
“This is just . . . fake anyway,” I muttered, and the bitterness in my voice surprised me.
He dropped his hands away from me as he slumped back on his heels, looking utterly defeated. “Charlie, don’t,” he whispered, his voice hoarse, raw with emotion. “Please, don’t walk away.”
I froze. “Then talk.”
He exhaled shakily, running a trembling hand through his hair.
“Nova’s engaged,” he said, his words slow and deliberate, as though each one weighed a ton.
“She’s happy. She has a life, and Ollie, her fiancé, has been helping raise Scarlette.
But they’re here now, Charlie. They’re staying.
And I-I need to meet her. I need to tell her she has a dad. I have to be involved in her life.”
Of course he did. Of course he wanted to be a dad—because that was who Austin was. Selfless, always wanting to do the right thing. And why shouldn’t he? She was his daughter. He had every right.
“Why didn’t she tell you?” I asked quietly, trying to steady my voice. “Why now?”
His hands came back out to touch mine as he held onto me, still on his knees.
“She tried. When I was in rehab, she called after three months, but I’d extended my stay.
She said the staff told her, and . . . she got scared, Charlie.
She didn’t want Scarlette around someone struggling with addiction.
” He looked up at me, his eyes pleading for me to understand.
“I get it. I don’t blame her for that. But I didn’t know. I didn’t even have a chance.”
I nodded slowly, swallowing the lump in my throat. “She was trying to protect her,” I said, more to myself than to him.
I would have done the same thing. I would’ve protected my child at all costs, especially if it involved someone who was in an active addiction.
“She’s engaged to Ollie,” he continued, his voice quieter now. “He’s been there for her. But this is my daughter, Charlie. I need to meet her. I need to be in her life.”
My chest tightened, the weight of it all pressing down on me until I thought I might collapse. I couldn’t breathe. I was going to throw up. This was too much.
“I need some space,” I said, my voice trembling as I took a step back.
“Charlie,” he said again, tears spilling down his face. “I love you.”
I shook my head quickly, taking another step backward. “No,” I said firmly. “You don’t get to say that now. You don’t get to throw that at me because you’re scared of losing me.”
“I am scared of losing you,” he said, his voice breaking on a sob. “But that’s not it. I love you, Charlie. I love you, and I need you. I’m terrified.”
“Me too,” I whispered, the confession slipping out before I even realized it. Tears burned my eyes as I stepped out of his reach. “I can’t do this right now. I can’t, Austin. I need to get out of here.”
Without waiting for him to respond, I turned and hurried upstairs, my heart racing.
My hands shook as I shut the bedroom door behind me and locked it, leaning against the cool wood.
I needed space. I needed air. This was too much, and I couldn’t process any of it while he was standing there, tearing himself apart in front of me.
“Fuck,” I whispered, hot tears slipping down my cheeks.
Two whole weeks of break. I was happy for him—I really was—but I wasn’t sure I was ready to be a stepmom or even where I fit in all of this.
And what about her?
What if he fell back in love with Nova? I’d agreed to this marriage partly because she was far away, out of the picture. She was here, they’d be co-parenting, and the thought gnawed at me—what if there were still feelings? What if this brought them back together?
I turned toward my suitcase in the corner, already half packed for our Christmas trip to Georgia. To Jacob. We were supposed to go down in a few days, but why wait?
I knelt by the suitcase, tossing in a few more clothes. My eyes landed on the drawer of my dresser that held my stash of toys. Without thinking, I yanked it open, grabbed my favorite vibrator, and shoved it inside. If I wasn’t going to be having sex anytime soon, at least I’d have that.
“I don’t know how to make this right.” Austin’s voice came from the other side of the door. “I don’t—”
I shut my eyes, willing myself not to cry, and zipped the suitcase closed. A strange calm settled over me. This wasn’t running—it was regrouping.
When I opened the door, Austin was standing there, my phone in his hand.
“I brought you your phon—” His gaze dropped to the suitcase. “You’re leaving?”
“I need space. I’m getting an earlier ticket to go home, so I’m going to regroup.”
He looked like he was about to say something, but I held up a hand to stop him. “This is big news for you, and I get that. I really do. This changes everything about us too. Your daughter—she has to find a way into your life, and that’s a huge adjustment.”
His shoulders sagged, his mouth opening like he wanted to protest, but I pressed on.
“This is something you and Nova need to figure out together first. You need to sort out what your new reality looks like for Scarlette. Before I can even think about where I fit in all of this . . . you two need to figure that out.”
Austin reached out like he wanted to pull me back, but I stepped past him, my chest tight and my heart breaking with every step. “I just need time. You stay here and figure it out instead of coming with me like planned. I’ll be back after break.”
I paused in the doorway, tightly gripping my suitcase handle. My voice came out softer than I intended. “Will you be okay? Sober?”
Austin nodded quickly. “Yes,” he said, his voice hoarse. “I . . . I think I’ll call Dirks and maybe stay with him. Or my mom. I’ll figure it out.”
I exhaled a sigh. “Okay. Good. I’ll . . . I’ll see you after the holidays.”
“I know this is a lot to handle. It’s a lot for me too. For us. But I need to know my daughter.” His tears fell freely now, his voice breaking as he spoke.
“You do,” I said, my throat tightening.
And I meant it. She needed him just as much as he needed her.
But inside, I was unraveling. A daughter. Four years old. His ex-wife back in town. A secret he hadn’t known about that now changed everything. This fake marriage was supposed to be simple—temporary. Instead, it was becoming something far messier than I’d ever planned for.
It wasn’t just his life that had shifted—it was mine too. I didn’t know how to process it. The guilt of leaving clawed at me, but somehow, the need to get away and think, to breathe, felt like survival.
“I mean it,” I said quietly, meeting his eyes for a moment. “You do need to be with her.”
His lip trembled as he nodded. I swallowed hard and turned away, walking toward the door with my heart feeling heavier than the suitcase in my hand.