Chapter 39
Tilian
Staring up at the ceiling, I watched smoke disperse across the surface. It slowly billowed outward, thinning as it went. Since there was no texture, it seemed to glide in a way that was a bit unnerving. My mind conjured an image of a demon snake slithering above me while I slept.
“I think I smoked too much,” Dean stated.
I laughed from the foot of the bed. We were both lying down in Brooks’ guest room, facing opposite ways, and I couldn’t even guess how long we’d been here. Long enough to split a joint and work halfway through another.
I heard him take another hit. “Fuck,” he said around the smoke in his lungs. “I wasn’t supposed to hit that again.”
“Let it be,” I said casually.
“You’re always so fucking chill,” he noted. “I didn’t even know you were stoned when I first met you.”
“Always assume I’m stoned. I’m a high functioning smoker, always in a perpetual state of highness.”
“Highness,” he mumbled. “Highness. Is that a word? It doesn’t sound like it anymore.”
“Dude, you’re toasted.”
“Take this before I die.”
“You won’t die but go off.”
“Where’s Brooks?” he wondered.
“He was hanging out with Kai last time I talked to him.”
“Is he tired of you?”
“He’s allowed to have other people in his life.”
“And he just lets you chill in his place?”
“If I go too far, he’ll hunt me down anyway.”
“Clingy as hell,” he laughed.
“I’m just waiting for him to get bored of me.”
He sat up with a frown. “I don’t know him too well, but Brooks isn’t gonna stay where he doesn’t want to be. He’d either dip or make sure to bring things up to his standard. Relax. He’s obsessed with you too.”
“Is he?”
“Are you actually worried about that?”
“Not really. Just passing insecurities, mostly. It’s worse when I’m not with him because I can’t see that look in his eyes.”
“You’re an idiot. Anyone with eyes can see he’s gone for you.”
“So, he thinks I’m hot,” I noted with a smile.
“He has poor taste.”
“Fuck you.”
“You’re a mess,” he laughed.
“Don’t project. I’m hella chill.”
“Yeah, right. You’ve been halfway in love with him since your first kiss.”
I smiled as I brought the joint to my mouth. “I’m weak and he’s beautiful. Shoot me.”
“Who are we shooting?” a voice asked from the door.
We both turned in what felt like slow motion. Brooks was leaning against the frame with his arms and ankles crossed. Behind him, the apartment was dark, which cast him in an ethereal glow from the lamp on the nightstand.
“Fuck, you’re an angel aren’t you,” I said, which made him immediately laugh. I loved the way he smiled when it was real.
Dean squinted his eyes. “Shit. Did you say that really slowly or is my brain lagging?”
Brooks looked at me. “What’s up with Toast Malone over here?”
I held up the nearly burned out joint. He strode into the room and plucked it from my fingers.
“This isn’t allowed here.” There was a lingering smirk on his face as he held the tiny thing with two fingers and brought it to his lips.
“Good thing I’m a rebel.”
I rose up on my knees and pulled him down by the back of his neck before he could blow out the smoke. With my lips pressed lightly to his, I inhaled it, then kissed him until my lungs were on fire.
I pulled back and exhaled before I coughed a couple of times. “Shit. I’m tapping out.”
Brooks raised a brow. “I’m appalled to hear that from you. How much did you guys smoke?”
“Two of those,” I said. “They’re a gram each and, like, twenty-eight percent.”
Shaking his head, Brooks laughed. “And you say you smoke for anxiety.”
“I do. Mostly. We just finished midterms, so fuck being in the land of the living right now.”
“Based.”
Dean tapped my arm with the back of his hand. “What if we ate?”
“This is why I don’t hang out with stoners.”
“You are one.”
“Not like you.”
He laughed and rubbed his eyes. “I’m supposed to meet Rick at the gym anyway.”
“You are not driving.”
“Don’t you drive high?”
“I would never.”
“I’ll take you,” Brooks offered.
There was an awkward silence as they looked at each other. They hadn’t exactly made up. Their strategy was to ignore anything had ever happened and as long as they were around other people, they wouldn’t start fighting.
“That’s a good idea,” I chimed in. “Then, you can get us some dinner on your way home.”
“You’re gonna make me fat.”
“You know we’ll work it off.”
Dean made a disgusted sound. “If we’re gonna go, let’s go.”
Brooks leaned down to kiss me and I held him to me for a long moment. By the time he pulled back, I was inclined to get Dean an Uber, but I just smiled.
When they were gone, I failed to stifle a yawn. It would be easy to nap right now, but I wanted to be awake when Brooks got back. When I was bored at home, I wandered, so I got to my feet and slipped on my Converse.
As I locked the door, I smiled. He’d given me a fucking key. It was custom with a vintage look. I imagined an old, creepy dude in a cloak pulling it from his pocket to open the door to a haunted mansion.
I really didn’t give a shit if people thought we were clingy. We were, and I wasn’t mad about it.
Moving into the stairwell, I looked at the sign on the wall. Two floors up was where the amenities were, so I jogged the two flights and exited into the hallway.
All I could say about the gym was that it was insane. There was a pet bathing room with a deep, fancy tub, a yoga room, and a business center. When I reached the top of the building, I stared at the covered rooftop pool. I was definitely going to convince Brooks we needed to swim.
It had been a while, so I made my way back to the apartment. I stopped as soon as I left the stairwell. There was a woman standing in front of Brooks’ door, staring down at her phone. I moved a little closer, not sure what to do.
When she noticed me, her eyes roamed up and down my body. I studied her in return. She was probably in her forties and was conventionally pretty. Her hair was a chestnut color that must’ve been professionally dyed and she was dressed like she was ready to dominate a business meeting. Red lipstick drew attention to her mouth and I wondered why guys were into that. It looked messy.
“Can I help you?” she snapped.
Her curt tone made me raise a brow and I felt a little defensive. “No. You’re standing in front of my door, so can I help you ?”
Her lips parted, then she looked at her phone. She checked the door number with a frown.
“This is supposed to be Brooks’ place.”
“It is.”
“His mom said he lived alone.”
She stepped to the side, allowing me to unlock the door. With a sigh, I held it open so that she could come in.
“I’ll be right back,” I said.
Quickly, I went into the guest room to grab my phone that I’d forgotten, then I returned to the kitchen. Which was empty.
“What the fuck,” I muttered.
Had she gotten impatient and left already? I wondered what a friend of his mom’s would be doing at his apartment. I felt unnerved as I opened the fridge to find something to drink. A movement to my left made me slam it closed and pivot to look at her.
“Where the fuck did you come from?”
The woman from before tapped her manicured nails on the island. “Where’s Brooks?”
“I don’t really know if that’s your business.”
Her overly sweet smile unnerved me. As she made her way over to me, I pushed my hands into my pockets. I wanted to tell her to get the hell out and take her flowery, migraine-inducing perfume with her, but I didn’t want to cause issues for Brooks. Maybe she was a family friend. Or an aunt. She seemed very pale in comparison, but I didn’t know the makeup of his bloodline.
My eyes traveled over her shoulder and locked on Brooks’ door, which was slightly cracked. When her fingers touched my chest and began to trail downward, I slapped her hand away.
“Don’t touch me,” she snapped.
I shrugged. “You touched me first. I’m not interested in whatever you’re playing at here and if you want to see Brooks, you’ll have to arrange that with him.”
She let out a little huff as she started toward the door. Her heels clicked against the stone floor in a way that made me want to snap them in half.
Stopping in the entryway, she looked me directly in the eyes. “Tell him that I need to see him. Tomorrow in my office would be ideal.”
“Any particular time?” I asked snidely.
Her tongue traced her lower lip seductively. “Whenever. He knows I’ll always make time for him.”
“Is that so? And who am I telling him you are?”
“Holly. He’ll know who I am. We’re very well-acquainted.”
Was it normal for someone’s blood to feel like it was boiling?
It was worse that she seemed to read what I was feeling. With a final smirk, she left the apartment. I hurried to the door and turned the lock before I went directly to Brooks’ room.
At first glance, things seemed to be in order. His bed was always unmade except on the days the cleaner came by, which told me the guy had been here today.
I flipped on the light so that I could see better before I headed into the bathroom. Maybe she just had to pee. I didn’t believe it for a second.
Moving into the walk-in closet, I ran my fingers along the hangers and tried to recall if he’d worn anything other than hoodies and t-shirts since I’d met him. He was usually in skinny jeans when he was out of the house and sweats or basketball shorts inside. None of this was his- not in spirit, at least. I couldn’t imagine him wearing these unless he was forced to.
I hated all of it. If I was less level-headed, I’d consider burning it all.
When I spotted a bottle of cologne, I picked it up and sniffed it. This was something he used every day. It was fucking intoxicating.
“Nebulous,” I read. I might consider saving the name, but I’d never be able to afford it if it was as expensive as he claimed.
Deciding against snooping further, I shut off the light and returned to the bedroom. Something white caught my eye, a contrast to his black pillowcase. I sat on the edge of the bed and picked up the piece of paper.
We need to talk.
P.S. I’ve been thinking about that rose. Come by so that I can touch it again.
-Holly
The paper crumpled in my hand. I thought she’d been insinuating things earlier just to annoy me, but apparently not. It didn’t make sense, though. Holly was easily pushing forty and she was involved with his family somehow. Why would he sleep with her?
He’d never been shy about his sex life. Most likely it was just that. Sex.
Should I leave the note? I didn’t want to.
Against all that was holy, I pulled out my phone and called him.
“Hey there,” he answered.
His voice cut through some of my chaotic thoughts.
“Hey. How are you?” I asked a little awkwardly.
He chuckled. “I’m fine. Shocked you called me, honestly.”
“Yeah, I need to talk to you.”
“Did you kill someone?”
“Course not. Someone was looking for you at the apartment.”
“What?” I heard his car door shut and it got quiet. “Who was it and what’d you say?”
“It was a woman. Holly. She wants you to call her, I guess. Are you in the business of leaving women on ‘read?’” I teased. Or, at least, I hoped it sounded teasing.
“No, it’s nothing like that.” Everything had fled from his voice except his business-like control. “She’s just a colleague. Barely know her. Did she say anything else?”
“Just that you should go to her office tomorrow.”
“Oh. Yeah, cool. I’ll call her. Thanks.”
“You have her number?”
“Yup. I’ll see you soon, okay?”
I wanted to call out his lies, but I refrained. “Okay.”
Once the line disconnected, I flipped the paper over. The ten digits scrawled there made too many questions surface in my mind, ones that I knew he wouldn’t answer.
My mind went back to the day in my dorm when he was distraught. I tried to recall exactly what he’d said. Something about it was gnawing at me.
“I tried not to do something because of you. I tried… But it doesn’t matter.”
What had he said after that?
“I didn’t want to. I’m sorry.”
When I asked what he was talking about, he said a name that I hadn’t caught at the time. I couldn’t even tell for sure if it was related, but with her name in my mind, I could’ve sworn that it matched what I’d heard that night.
Holly.