The County Fair Queen

The County Fair Queen

Author: Lance Lansdale Listening Length: 8h 36m

Everyone loves a comeback. Its been fifteen years since former boyband member and wine vineyard heir Phillip Firecracker retreated from the spotlight. Since then, hes been happy enough living out the rest of his days as a recluse, with only his murderous tabby, and unpaid intern -slash- best (only) friend for companion...

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7. Chapter Seven

Chapter Seven

DEAR RIVERS' ASSHOLE, WOULD YOU CARE TO MEET MY TONGUE?

When we arrived in town the next morning, the square was packed. Though the festival didn't kick off for another three hours, it seemed like everyone and their dog had shown up early; probably to catch sight of the prodigal queer.

Brenda/Carole and the crew were setting up by the stage, and when our eyes met, she flashed me a smile. A few feet away, Rivers and his son were deep in conversation. Beau seemed like a sassy little thing, judging by his current attire. He was wearing a shiny pink sports coat over his Muscadine Madness t-shirt. His maroon slacks were glossy in appearance, and there were gaudy purple gemstones down the seams. Rivers, as usual, had dressed conservatively in a pair of slacks and a button-down shirt. The only thing keeping him from looking like a glorified bank teller was his necktie selection. It was a bright baby-blue with magenta hearts scattered across the fabric. At their ankles, their pet piglet—attempted murderer Fudge Rivera—rubbed his snout against a partially eaten fried turkey leg. To my amusement, the little porker was decked out in a glorious ensemble, just like Beau. Beau had somehow strategically placed a tiara on Fudge’s head. The piglet was also wearing what appeared to be a pearl necklace which was latched to a small, bedazzled leash. A rainbow tutu completed the outfit to perfection.